I’ve posted a few times about my preference for dive bars. Seedy kind of places I like to hang out cause there isn’t the pretention and the better-than-thou kind of crap. Well I learned something interesting grabbing a few beers tonight. Apparently I’m the enforcer but nobody ever told me.
See, It’s the kind of dive bar where the owner likes to hire youngish chicks to bring in the customers, but doesn’ t bother to do much for safety. Well this is a place I’ve been going for years. Lately they’ve been giving me most of my beers gratis. I didn’t know what was up, but I’m not going to refuse a free beer, especially since I’m out of a job. I went to this place a while ago with a couple friends, and the bartenders still gave me free beers. All my friends kept saying that if those chicks were giving free beers it meant they liked me. Now, I’ve been a fat ugly loser long enough to know that couldn’t be the case, but still couldn’t figure it out, and as I said, I wasn’t going to pass up the free beer.
Well tonight I was there talking to one of them who was off duty. She was drunk as hell. She finally came clean. I came off as nice enough(translated “sucker”) to help them in a bad spot , but scary enough to intimidate people. So they were giving me free beers hoping I would show up all the time. They were telling the drunk, problem customers that I would fuck them up. Uhh, gee fucking thanks. There are a bunch of guys there thinking that I think I’m a badass, and I never knew. That explains a lot of the shit I go through.
I’m not a badass. I’m only about 5-10 270 with about 100 of it flab, and I really hate fighting, after enough broken bones, and enough nights in jail. A lot of those guys could have flattened me in about 2 seconds, not to mention the possibility of a sucker punch. Well goes to prove there is no such thing as a free beer, and one might get you knifed in an alley with no fucking clue what is going on.