The USPS - Enjoy the Goddamn Wait

The BBQ Pit
1

This has become a self-inflicted ritual that I go through about once a month. Why I don’t learn my lesson is beyond me.

I amble down to the local Post Office, usually with the idea that I’ll catch a nice walk and take care of some simple business there - maybe buy some stamps, drop off some mail, etc. I’ve got this polyanna idea that I’ll take a small-town walk down to the local, hometown Post Office, where I’ll get a nice dose of mellow Americana, and say Hi to old people and kids.

Well, call me dumbass. No - hit me in the goddamn head with a pipe, spit on me, and THEN call me dumbass.

So, I walk in, and as usual, I’m immediately head-butted with a fuck-nuttin’ line of about 20 dazed Postal customers, all waiting for the inane fuck-ups behind the counter to get their act together and GET THE FUCK MOVING! C’MON YOU DULLARDS!! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! Some of the people in line have tents set up - they’re making lunch on campstoves. They’re in for the long haul.

Upon closer inspection, I notice that there are ONLY 2 FUCKIN’ Postal Worker Stations being manned (personned) by Postal Workers. The other 4 are - EMPTY. Fortunately, they’ve placed helpful placards on each of the unmanned stations, offering the profound “Next Window Please” suggestion.

I begin to watch what’s going on. There’s one Postal Worker that’s decided that, despite a growing line of dazed customers, she’s gonna take 15 FUCKIN MINUTES to help Mrs. Grannysmith Appleby package her boxfull of shit, carefully tape it up, and all the while, carry on some fuckin’ conversation that would surely make Ghandi walk over and bitch-slap the both of them!

Then I look over at Postal Worker #2 - he’s spending time making dopey jokes with a customer - the kind of thing that makes even the most kind-hearted person in line start throwing rocks at the idiot. I actually saw an older woman in line squat down, take a shit, pick up said shit, and hurl it at the Postal Worker, but her aim was off, and it landed harmlessly on the floor behind him.

Then the kicker - Postal Worker #1 FINALLY finishes up with her thesis on box-packing procedures, and decides that NOW, NOW is the time to start walking around to search for some taping supplies that GOTTA BE TAKEN CARE OF FUCKIN’ RIGHT NOW, before any other customer is helped. She then goes over, starts yakking with Postal Worker #2, distracts him, and gets him to join in the Hunt For The Missing Tape Dispenser. They walk away from the counter, and over to the back of the room.

At this point, all manner of social decorum in the Line starts to break down, as several otherwise-civil people turn to the person behind them in line and ask “WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE STOOGES DOIN’?”. “What the FUCK?”. Several people just slowly turn, leave The Line, and walk out the door, hunched over like beaten dogs. I follow, and as I leave, the shitheads behind the counter are STILL FUCKIN’ AROUND OVER IN THE CORNER. The older woman mentioned earlier grabs a second handful of her shit, and winds up…

I decided that my Postal Needs are perhaps better met by, say, the local grocery store, which seems to have everything I usually need, and a curious penchant for better customer service, no doubt because THEY WANT TO STAY IN FUCKING BUSINESS.

2

I laughed, I cried. Very nice rant dumbass.

Hey, you asked…

3

Goddamit, Adam ! I said to hit me in the head with a pipe, and THEN call me dumbass. Jeez. Now go find a pipe and get back with me.

4

What I really resent about my local post office is the extremly limited Saturday hours. They’re only open from 10am to noon. The last 1/2 hour they’re open, there is always a long line – a long line which is, IMO, caused by the noon closing. I doubt that I’m the only person there that would come in later, if the post office were open during the afternoon.

I think it’s a case of business getting what it wants, and to hell with the pvt citizens. Businesses want the post office to be open during business hours on weekdays – it is. Individuals want to be able to go to the post office outside of business hours. We’re out of luck. No evening hours at all, and only a brief, token open period on Saturdays. During which they do not put on anything like enough clerks.

5

Damn, no pipe. Will a tire iron do? :smiley:

6

I DESERVE a tire iron. Hit me hard, and then glare at me with a mocking grin.

Oh yeah - I forgot to mention that I was at the Post Office today at 12:45 PM. They musta been on lunch break, like everyone else in line. They were probably shopping for Beanie-Babies.

7

My local post office handles things beautifully. Here’s a recent example:

I went in on a Friday afternoon to pick up a package. Please note: this is the absolute only situation that will bring me to this den of inefficiency. Buying stamps, sending stuff out, that can all be done elsewhere.

Anyway I’m in a line about 10 deep. We’re all waiting for our chance to talk to one of the two persons behind the counter. As I get up to the front of the line, one of the women shouts out: “Martin can do anything that we can do at the counter!” Martin is the dude who sits behind the counter at the other end of the room. One would assume you could only buy stamps from him, but nope, he can do it all.

I assume that she was trying to help, but this announcement just created chaos. Everyone from the end of the damn line turned around and made their way to Martin, while those of us whom had already waited 40 minutes were still stuck waiting for Tweedle-dee and Tweelde-dip! It would have made so much more sense for Martin to just ask for the next one in line.

But hey, what do I know about postal service? I mercifully only go in to a post office once every couple of years. :slight_smile:

8

Funny. I go to my local Post Office maybe two or three times at week, usually during the lunch or evening rush hours, and I’ve never waited more that fifteen minutes. This despite the fact that there are usually only two counter employees to a couple of dozen customers.

To those who resent the short Saturday hours, I suggest you try to pick up a package at your local UPS office during the weekend. You’ll have to wait till Monday.

9

My dad once got banned from our local post office for complaining about the poor service. (The postal worker thought that he was “threatening”.) They suck.

10

My dad once got banned from our local post office for complaining about the poor service. (The postal worker thought that he was “threatening”.) They suck.

11

Now I remember why I went with Stamps.com. No lines, free postage, it’s all good. :slight_smile:

12

I’m just looking at these portions of your rant:

It sounds to me like you found your “nice dose of mellow Americana” right there in front of you. What typifies “mellow Americana” more than helping “Mrs. Grannysmith Appleby package her boxfull of (shit)”? :slight_smile:

13

That is fine, just don’t do it when I am waiting in line.

14

Sounds just like the post office up the street from me :frowning:

Part of the problem is that they laid off 12,000 people recently and the only staff they can cut down on are people working behind the counters (if they cut down route carriers we’d all be screwed)…

All I hope for is that with the stamp price hike they’ll hire people who can <gasp> WORK AND TALK AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

15

No, I’m with Anthracite. So booka, if all you wanted was a leisurely walk and a look around the neighborhood, why were you in such a honking rush?

16

It’s not about being in a rush, it’s about inconsiderate fucks wasting my time for no reason.

Postal employees, being part of civil “service”, have always been and will always be made up mostly of people who for various reasons can’t make it in a “real job”. They may be slow, stupid and/or surly, but they were able to negotiate the maze of paperwork and tests required to get the job, and now they have it for life. Get used to it.

17

My beef is waiting for a my order from SierraTrading Post, It has been since March 5 since it shipped from Wyoming, USPS. And going on sixteen business days! Not lost? Never have I waited so long… Petty Rant , if it is lost the company is a gem to deal with so I have no worries but, my small town PO service is Ok.