The Volcano god is apparently angry - who are we going to sacrifice?

I vote we cover the entire spectrum - Sarah Palin AND Hillary Clinton. Yeah, we might give the volcano a raging case of indigestion, but it would be worth it.

Relax, fellow travelers and volcanophiles! I have just the thing.

This volcano god(dess) is mad about something, and what does he or she do? Grounds airplanes. European airliners. Something about this volcano doesn’t want European air travel to make money.

And it hungers for a virgin.

We need someone bold and brave to step up and take one for the team. An adventurer. Preferably a “virgin,” who makes a tonne of money from European air travel.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Dope, I propose we send it Richard Branson.

.

How about the current administration, and all members of both houses of Congress?

We can add Greenpeace, PETA, Al Qaeda, the loony Iranian clerics that said female promiscuity causes volcanic eruptions and Adoph Ahmade(whatever the hell his name is), Babs Streisand, Sean Penn and his butt-buddy Hugo Chavez, and anyone else who torques me off. I don’t care that any of them are not virgins, I’ll just be glad to be rid of them all.

Just out of curiosity we ought to toss in Abe Vigoda and see what happens. There’s no way he can be killed so something will happen right beforehand to save his bacon, probably the eruptions will magically quit and Europeans can start flying again. Then we’ll ship Abe to Afghanistan to wipe out the Taliban and then he can come back here and ride around strapped to the front bumper of a bunch of Toyotas.

No, no. In the spirit of bipartisanship, we throw in Sarah Palin and Joe Lieberman. One failed Republican vice-presidential candidate, one failed Democratic vice-presidential candidate.

We may need another volcano…

Chuck Norris.

I’m not looking to off him because we all know who would win that fight unscathed.

I see no problem with this.

Palin could still keep and eye on Russia (just from underneath) and Joe could finally Green the environment.

Pair Chuck with Abe Vigoda. Or Abe Vigoda and Keith Richards.

Ah, so I did remember correctly after all! My utmost apologies, I did check your location because I wasn’t 100% sure and it threw me off. I sure should know better, given how I bounce up and down the map!

Maybe we can just toss the whole gang in?

How about the family member who updated his facebook status saying that he’s “surprised the Global Warming/Climate Change loons haven’t jumped all over the Volcano in Iceland, especially to push…what is it?..the 40th anniversary of ‘Earth Day’.”

Or just Richards. He should have enough residual chemistry to stone the whole island solid.

People, people! We’re trying to appease the volcano god, not piss it off further! We need to be thinking along the lines of Jewel Staite and Michael Palin - people it would actually want!

Keith’s nostrils would solve all of our problems.

If we throw in enough undesirables, the volcano gods will quit out of disgust.
:stuck_out_tongue:

How 'bout Dakota Fanning? She’s probably still pure.

All of Europe can walk before I’d give up those two.

Fixed it for ya :smiley:

People, people, let’s be reasonable.

The obvious answer is Starving Artist. It’s already angry and it’s head has already exploded.
What could go wrong?

You know you want to agree with me.

Nobody voting for bankers? If my Dad were alive, he’d be voting for bankers. Well, actually, he’d be saying they should be lined up against the wall and shot, but if he could unclench, he’d vote for the volcano.