Fuck you Bárðarbunga

The BBQ Pit
1

I pit Bardarbunga. With your earthquakes and your giant ass cracks in the ice.

You blow up, then fuck you. You don’t ever get to that point, fuck you for the suspense. I’ve fucking had it with this shit. You can possibly shut down most of the NH air traffic, change the climate, turning the next winter into a nightmare beyond imagining, or just keep us all in suspense.

I would say go to hell, but that would sort of be impossible, since you are a goddamn hole right into hell.

Also I heard that if you really blow hard, it might wake me up from the goddamn boom. Calm the fuck down there big boy. Get a grip.

2

You can’t put a Volcano in the BBQ Pit, it’ll melt the darn thing!

3

Impossible.

4

You can’t hurry lava.

5

I’ll admit that I am not too familiar with this poster Bardarbunga, but I doubt his ass is big enough to crack the ice.

6

I’m surprised the OP isn’t here to use “Science” to tell us none of that is actually happening.

7

Give him at least a few hours to study the data. Then he’ll know more about it than the volcanologists that work there.

8

You just have to weight.

9

http://www.newsobserver.com/2014/08/28/4102869/volcanic-eruption-could-impact.html?

Do not fuck with my winter weather. I hate cold.

10

Oh sure, now there’s two of them showing pretty much constant earthquakes. I can’t take suspense any longer.

11

Pretty much the whole place is nothing but volcanoes. Shouldn’t they call it Fireland?

12

Actually, I have woken up in august with frost on the ground - at Pennsic in Western Pennsylvania. It can get freakishly cold when the day is absolutely clear with no clouds, clouds tend to keep heat in at night. No clouds, in foothills, cold nights.
[URL=“http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/”]

13

Bardarbunga responds: “No, fuck you”.

http://en.vedur.is/earthquakes-and-volcanism/articles/nr/2947

14

Fuck you Bárðarbunga for not being able to spell your name with just regular letters!

15

Unless this turns into a rift fissure eruption, then all bets are off. The last eruption like that caused a bitter winter of 1783-1784 where the Mississippi River froze all the way to New Orleans.

16

It’s not Iceland’s fault she has bad acne, and you’re a terrible person, FX, for teasing her about it. The doctors are trying to fix it, God knows Europe is tired of getting splattered with her pus. I hope you get twenty feet of snow this year, you “coldest winter in New Hampshire” type of person, I fart in your general direction. Your papa is the guy with the flies

17

Just don’t bitch about global warming anymore then. Volcanic particulates and sulfur compounds are some of the very most potent anti-greenhouse effect things out there. We could probably stand a few more Icelandic volcano eruptions or Mt. Pinatubo type eruptions to be honest.

18

Is this a good time to start a Pompeii deniers group?

19

Seattle would be a good place to start, they’re already in denial about Mt Rainier.

20

Or more likely not even be noticed.

You must be a science denier.
1783 Laki (Grimsvötn) Iceland

Deaths, unknown precisely: 6 million,[1] including a million in Japan,[2] a similar number in France,[2] many in the rest of northern Europe and in Egypt. Killed 9,350 people in Iceland, about 25% of the island’s population.

Between 1650 and 1500 BC Santorini (see Minoan eruption) (aka Thera) Greece

Number of deaths, unknown. May have contributed to the fall of Minoan civilization, famine in China, and the collapse of the Xia dynasty.

1600 Huaynaputina Peru

Number of deaths unknown. No less than two million. One-third of Russia was killed; see Russian famine of 1601–1603

I didn’t realize there were still volcano deniers. You learn something new every day.