I posted a thread on the Classmates website, on the Messgae Board for Redondo Union High School in Redondo Beach, CA.
The subject was singing various kinds of songs on school buses; I mentioned an old hymn I knew that was quite popular, and said than “even a ditzy blonde I know [Whom I’ve mentioned elsewhere on the SDMB] knew.”
The fellow alums from Redondo who posted on the board reacted to my use of the word, some quite vehemently. I never before collided with such a hard wall of political correctness.
Or is it? I sense I really committed a faux pas using that word to describe anyone.
I also made the mistake of mentioning that this woman has borne three “illegitimate” children, and that word too brought a howl of recrimination.
BFD. Some people are too sensitive. Last time I checked, “ditzy” and “illegitimate” were not cuss words.
They’re not cuss words, sure, but they don’t have good connotations. “Ditzy” is a tad male-chauvinistic, while “illegitimate” only has effect when comparing children born in wedlock to those out of wedlock, and finding the latter somehow lacking.
The difficulty is expressing myself without using the allegedly objectionable words and not bowing to a sentiment that requires sugar-coating.
I have mentioned on posts on the SDMB that I have been diagnosed with a mental disorder. I handed in a paper asbout the Museum of Tolerance in a pshychology course I took, and mentioned this diagnosis; the professor asked in his written comments, ‘Does this diagnosis leave anything out?’
I asked him what that means and he simply said, “You are a human being,” as if that would have any meaning to a qualified psychiatrist or anyone who would have a proper use for the psychiatrist’s professional evaluation of me.
Simply put, I sense that the sentiment is:Any description of such-and-such person as having a possibly distinctive trait or quality is discrimination and I should not try to make any points that require adjectives.
Who needs the First Amendment anyway? :mad:
Well, of course, I’m not an American, but I’d say that while you had free speech, your critics also have the right to say where your comments are inappropriate in their view.
If someone referred to me as “illegitimate” (I was born out of wedlock), I wouldn’t be offended, but I would point out that their use of that term was rather quaint in this day and age. “Ditzy”, though, is as I said earlier. Never been called that, though.
[QUOTE=Ice Wolf]
If someone referred to me as “illegitimate” (I was born out of wedlock), I wouldn’t be offended, but I would point out that their use of that term was rather quaint in this day and age.QUOTE]
Do you prefer bastard?
“illegitimate” kids?? how could that not be offensive?!? i am the mother of a kid born out of wedlock, and i think she’s just as “legitimate” as any other kid in the world!
of course, the personal experiences of posters who were born out of wedlock seem to express that it’s not a big deal to them. i’d say that’s the foremost authority on the topic, but as a mom… if anyone said that about my kid, i’d be on the warpath!
il·le·git·i·mate ( P ) Pronunciation Key (l-jt-mt)
adj.
- Against the law; illegal.
- **Born out of wedlock. **
It’s only the definition, why go on the warpath?
Definition is one thing. Connotation is another.
“Illegitimate” is a quaint word. It comes from the days when such children were thought of as “illegal”, and without recourse through the law when it came to things like family wills. Children, though, aren’t “legal” or “illegal” because of the marital status of their parents. Not in the modern world.
Yes, j_kat_251, I’m a bastard. So was my grandfather. Rather proud of that fact.
Anyway – my point is, those who find words offensive have the right to say so.
I probably would have said “she had 3 children out of wedlock”. And I use the term “ditzy” frequently to describe some of my cow-orkers.
And I have the right to teach them what offensive really is by flippin them the bird (but not in Brazil) 
Too cool! Agreed.
The woman with three children all born out of wedlock has been banished from the home of Maurreen, her mother. Natalie, the thieving granddaughter, is also barred–both by order of the management of the mobile-home park where Maureen now lives with her grandson Bert (now almost 11). The daughter and granddaughter had brought a few 'friends" over; these people were drunk, belligerent, and noisy and the neighbords had enough.
Obviously I started this thread with a word that lacked for political correctness–but Maureen’s progeny outdo that with their indolence, thievery, and lack of concern for the rights of others. Well, I guiess now they’ve cut their own throats, in a manner of speaking.
Or you could have just said “That chick with the 3 bastard kids.”
bas-tard
- a person born of unmarried parents; an illegitimate child.
Ditzy to me is just another word for airhead.
The only problem with “bastard” is that her eldest, 30-year-old Pete, has even surpassed her, in a sense. He has a wife, and kids of his own; he has a good job (in another state) and considering how he behaves I would be cruel calling his “bastard.”
Natalie and her mother Adelaide are another matter. “Airhead” wouldn’t necessarily apply, as I look over the big picture; both of them seem “criminal,” which certainly justifies Maureen’s belated order for them to leave.
I don’t see ditzy as chauvinistic at all. I think that’s PC craziness.
Illegitimate is one of those that can be seen either way. If you are somewhat defensive (sorry, but true) than it will be seen as a slur. It’s just a fact. The problem comes when it is used as the only defining characteristic about said child. “oh, well, he’s illegitimate” to explain something away–that’s offensive as hell (IMO). But if it’s just a statement of fact “she has 3 illegitimate children.”, then, no–it shouldn’t be offensive. Tricky days…
Yeah, illegitimate was out of line (serves no real purpose), but ditzy is fine. Hell, I am a self described ditz!
I’ve been known to call my (illegitimate) son a “bastard” when he beats me at Scrabble.
He replies, “Yep. But more to the point, I’m a son of a bitch!”
What difference did the circumstances of the childrens birth matter? Why couldn’t you simply have said “She has three children.”?
I can understand “illegitimate” being offensive only because it calls into question the validity of the entire family. It’s the same kind of thing that got Dany Quayle into so much trouble when he criticized the fictional TV character Murphy Brown for deciding to have and raise a child as a single woman. The forms families take is much more diverse these days. Common-law partnerships are much more common than they used to be. If a couple have been in love and co-habitating for fifteen years, I don’t think I’d call their children “illegitimate”. The term is out of date. Although it may be technically correct, it implies there was something unplanned or lewd about the child’s conception. Like, “your mom was a slut, that’s why she had so many illegitimate children.” Not as many people think “Wow, they’ve been together for 30 years and have three beautiful, illegitimate kids.”
I have no idea why anyone would be offended by “ditzy” unless they don’t know what it means. I also think it means “airhead”. You could try “scatterbrained” as an alternative.
I think it’s because, like ‘bimbo’ and ‘dumb blond(e),’ it’s almost exclusively used when referring to women. I don’t find it particularly offensive, but have never heard it applied to a man. In fact, the fact that the word ‘himbo’ had to be coined is sort of odd.