The World Is My Ashtray

From The Song of Smokers, Winston 1:7.
The world is my ashtray; I shall not want.
When the ash on my cigarette grows long
I simply reach out the window and tap
Dislodging the ash to fall on the road,
Or to fly onto the vehicles around me.

The world is my ashtray.

And when my cigarette burns down
I hang my arm out the window
And pretend to tap so that more ash falls
“Accidentally” letting the butt slip to the pavement.
So no one is the wiser.

The world is my ashtray.

It would never do
To sully my car’s ashtray with ash and butts.
For it is pristine, and best saved for other purposes
Like holding spare change.

I used to use the ashtray
But found it took too much effort
To empty it out the car window
Into the Kroger parking lot.

And it is a waste of time,
Which is better used in writing letters to the editor
Demanding smokers’ rights.

The world is my ashtray.

Hey, it’s all biodegradable, whaddaya want, anyway?


The word for the people you are complaining about is “litterer”, not “smoker”.

The vast majority of smokers do not litter. I haven’t had a cigarrette in a week and a half, but in all my years of smoking I never littered.
Do you think all non smokers should be judged based on the few who are absolute jerks about it? If not, why should all smokers be judged based on the behavior of a few jerks.

Well… non smokers aren’t likely littering America with cigarette butts. :smiley:

When I smoked on the beach I would collect my butts in a little pile or a can and throw them away when I left. Of course, while going to the trash can to dispose of them I had to step on or over thousands of damn cigarette butts. I always policed my mess, but I got the feeling that I was the only one.

It makes me sick when I go to some beautiful spot and find it littered with butts. Suggestion: if there is no perfect place to dispose of your butts, poke a finger down into the ground, stuff the butt as far down as it will go, cover. This beats leaving them around like snow in January (Ah, well, there is no snow here, ever, but you get my drift - get it? - snow / drift). [sub]Sorry[/sub]

Well, it’s like this, grendel72.

Of all the idiots I see throwing trash out of their cars, roughly 95% are smokers. And yesterday in only 20 minutes of city driving, I was behind no fewer than five smokers who were busy dumping ash and butts out their windows.

I salute you for having the guts and good sense to quit smoking.

So the smoking rants have gone from monthly to bi-weekly?

It’s hard to keep up.

You just THOUGHT you had sigs turned off!

grendel, i must admit i’m confused about folks like you who claim that ‘the vast majority of smokers do not litter.’ i certainly believe you when you say you didn’t, but the vast, i mean vast, majority of smokers i’ve seen over the years throw their butts on the ground when they’re done with them.

In my experience, its the vast minority who have enough brains to realize ‘Hey! This just isn’t the end of my delicious cigarette, it’s also litter!’

I have a feeling essvee, that you notice more smokers littering. That doesn’t mean that most smokers litter, or that most litterers smoke, just that you notice it more.
An exercise in using your logic:
I could say that most guys with nice asses wear tight jeans. In fact, I wouldn’t notice the asses of guys in loose fitting jeans, and would not pay attention to the guys with baggy asses in tight jeans. It doesn’t follow.

Well, if we reverse your logic, it’s just as possible that you, as a smoker, don’t notice more smokers littering.

If you really don’t think the vast majority of smokers throw the vast majority of their smogs on the ground, go outside and look down.

Or better yet, go to the beach (if you live on the coast). See all them butts? They get washed into the sewer, and, from there, into the bay and onto the beach.

Sure, a lot of smokers litter. A lot don’t. Most I’ve known fall into the latter category.
When you see someone smoking, you notice them- if only to mentally cluck your tongue and wag a finger at them. When they litter they reinforce your already bad image of them, if they don’t litter you still remember them negatively. I say this as someone who would be accused of littering by people who had seen me chuck butts in the trash.

Grendel, respectfully, you’ve already scaled down from ‘a vast majority’ to ‘a lot.’

Millions and millions of people smoke. I’m sure a lot of them don’t throw their butts on the ground. Hell, as an ex-smoker and an ex-Boy Scout, I always field-stripped my butts and saved them to throw away later if I couldn’t extinguish them in an ashtry.

I repeat my assertion, however, that the vast majority of smokers will and do throw their butts on the ground. Open your eyes and look at the ground! Your acquaintances do not equal ‘a vast majority.’

'Cuz y’know, generalizations are ok when they don’t include race, religion, or sex.

My anecdotes can beat up your anecdotes!!

The behavior being bitched about is littering, not smoking. One who throws shit on the ground is a litterer not a smoker.
I see cigarette butts on the ground, I also see Burger King wrappers- damn those eaters, they have no respect for others…

Okay, so you’ve repeated your assertion. Now please support it.

Actually, I think it’s monkeys who fling poo.

Hell, make it easy on yourself and just stick 'em back in your pocket or purse or wherever you carry them. They aren’t any more disgusting now just because they’re shorter than they were before. Really.

Thanks. I’ll just keep not smoking, if you don’t mind.

That’s my choice, too, Beagle. My point is, if people can carry the disgusting things around unsmoked, they can carry them off with them when they go, instead of leaving their foul detritus behind them. I acknowledge that not all who smoke also litter. But I notice the preponderance of litter is used butts. I spent a day with The Offspring’s Scout troop cleaning up a beach parking lot one weekend and nearly tossed my cookies over what I collected.