Oh, okay.
Firstly, I never said she was ugly… she isn’t ugly! And she isn’t crazy (if she has her medication).
As far as pontificating goes, I think I’ve been doing that…
Anyway, in this thread I people can answer the following questions -
Do you have any contact with mentally ill people? Do they also date with their own kind like the guys I know? Any interesting tales? Some of them eventually get married. They apparently have a much greater chance of having mentally ill offspring due to mental illness being about nature and nurture. BTW my girlfriend wants to have one kid… (after marriage) though I’ve told her that for the time being I don’t want one…
The thing is that I have to meet her friends and I might feel awkward knowing that they know what we get up to… so I might have to make sure I give her pretty good sex. On the other hand I am talking about sex here to people she will never meet…
BTW there are probably some examples on this board where people talk about their SO’s sexual behaviour:
Did You Plan Your Sexual Milestones Ahead of Time, or Did They Just Happen?
What are some red flags that your potential partner will be inhibited in the sack?
What if I talked about sex with my parents, friends, etc, and then told her that I talk about our sex with those people… and then I might say that I talked about sex where she was anonymous on a messageboard where I am anonymous as well. I’m sure she would prefer the latter. BTW she has problems with social anxiety and can worry about what people think. What people think who she’ll never meet isn’t a problem IMHO.
Again, the difference is that you don’t know how she feels about you talking about her sexual behavior - you haven’t asked, and it seems like you don’t intend to.
So, you’ve pretty much exhibited that you don’t care what she might think, you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do, and you don’t really care how she feels about it.
Thanks for clarifying that. I’m done.
I’ve told her at least twice that I discuss our relationship in great detail on the internet.
Yeah I don’t seek her approval in every aspect of the relationship.
Unfortunately, this is one aspect where you most certainly should. It’s HER relationship too.
Guinastasia:
There are help columns in some magazines (e.g. women’s ones) where people write in and ask advice about their sex problems… I doubt that many of the people who wrote in would get permission from their partner first…
What does she say when you say this?
Oh no, it was ironic all right. Hall monitoring to other people that they shouldn’t act like hall monitors and everything.
I can’t remember her really anything besides “ok”. I guess I could have asked her how she feels though it might make her feel even more uncomfortable…
Asking someone, especially your girlfriend, how they feel is almost never a bad thing. If you ask her these things you will learn more about her. This is part of a healthy relationship.
Yes. Many of my client’s spouses are mentally ill.
Then do not post about her the way you have been posting about her.
Somehow this seems to me to be similar to saying “then do not think about her the way you have been thinking about her” because I am in a habit of posting what I think (well I censor some things). I guess me confiding in mental health workers and occasionally friends/relatives should be enough… after all posting about these thoughts might just reinforce them? Or maybe posting about them helps me see problems in my thoughts since people in real life don’t usually point out problems in what I’m saying… though posting my dark thoughts leads to the possibility of people in my life finding out about them.
Hmmm… I guess I should treat this kind of like socialising… i.e. I should censor myself more in order to appear more “normal”
This is blog sharing, no one here wants to know this much about you. That’s what they’ve been trying to tell you. You seem unable to hear it.
We all censor ourselves. That’s kind of what socialization is. 
Do please remember that JC is socialphobic, so these things are not necessarily obvious to him - even on the internet.
I’m living with depression and longstanding issues about love, work, and socialization myself. I know how trapped you can feel at times, and I know the urge to share, AND the inability to find a person or a place. So I’m interested in what JC might have to say about these things.
For those reasons I’m tempted to cut JC some slack. I am, however, sometimes guilty of attention-whoring when I should be sharing. So YMM most definitely V.
Actually about a year ago on another messageboard my blog thread got voted as thread of the year… and I went into far more detail… but it seems these forums here are different.
John, I hope you get help. Social phobia is something that you can get help with. I know someone with it and I think I may have had it in my teens. Back then they called it extreme shyness. Don’t avoid the problem by hiding out with other social phobes. That is not going to fix you. Only you can do that and I hope you do because the world is a very cool place once you can drop the fear. It is just fear.
Fear can equal, “Fuc* Everything And Run”
Or it can mean “Face Everything And Recover”
All you have to do is walk through the fear. Life is scary! Like the first time I drove a car or the first day on new job. I was shaking on the inside but I did it anyway. Little by little the fear went away by facing it dead on. As for sex that needs to be when you want it because you are in love with someone. Only a two bit chump would use a girl for sex that he didn’t love. You are too good of a person to do that. You mentioned it because it is bothering you. So don’t! Hang out with people you want to emulate. Hanging out with ill people will just keep you ill.
We can’t give away what we don’t have. Fix you and worry about staying in the moment. Stay in today and tomorrow will take care of itself. Baby steps. One small step a day and you will conquer this.
A wise man once told me this:
“If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tommorow your crapping all over today”.
Good Luck