The one I always remember from this category is the guy who nearly injures himself washing his car.
That’s because he doesn’t have the miracle rag-on-a-stick, Shiwala.
Haven’t seen it mentioned yet, so here goes…
Back when I lived in Chicago (up until five years ago), there used to be a commercial for an insurance company, I think it was called the Eagle Insurance Co. I can’t remember every detail, but it started off with a girl in a car, who gets hit from behind (there was a second girl in the commercial, but I can’t remember if she was a passenger, or the second driver). Anyway, one asks the other if they had insurance, and the reply was a “face by the mouth incredulous look” and an answer of no. So then you hear a big thump on the roof of one of the cars, with one of the girls asking, “What was that?” and the second answering, “It must be Eagle Man!” Then the stupid looking man-eagle says in a Mancow-sounding voice, “Have I got something, for you!!!” And you hear a hilarious BOING! as Eagle Man lays an egg (don’t ask) on the car roof, and a baby eagle pops out with an insurance quote.
I think there may have been two versions of the commercial, a longer and shorter version, but we used to laugh insanely whenever we saw it.
Who else is from the North Bay? I know there are some others around.
There’s a long-running ad from…oh, god, I can’t remember his name, but he obviously saw these Cal Worthington ads…it’s some Chevy dealership in Santa Rosa, CA, starring the owner and his dog, Mutley. Mutley goes surfing! Mutley goes skiing! Mutley is taken into protective custody by the ASPCA!
And all Bay Areas fondly remember Paul From The Diamond Center, of course. Whatever happened to Paul anyway?
Here’s a minor annoyance of a commercial. It’s for Valtrex (valacyclovir) as a treatment for genital herpes. I’m long since over subject matter after the deluge of ED and diarrhea drug commercials (speaking of which have you seen that Pepto Bismol commercial – something like nausea, heartburn, diarrhea, hey! – that’s a beaut…) It is filmed in beautiful Rio, with a woman with incredible blue eyes speaking about her herpes outbreaks, all the while bicycling, hiking, swimming, kissing her boyfriend, probably at Ipanema with Corcovado in the background.
The whole commercial, for some inexplicable reason, is filmed in black and white. You go to one of the most color saturated places on the planet, you take a woman with incredible blue eyes, and you put the whole thing in black and white. The black and white is of a grain that the commercial could have been made in Poland or Glasgow; it makes the woman’s eyes look so pale that she looks like a space alien. What in the hell are they thinking? My only guess is they are trying to do a Chris Isaac “Wicked Game” type vibe, without any of the sexiness or music.
It doesn’t work and I must ask: Who are the ad wizards who came up with this stuff?
The first time I saw that commercial (indeed, every time I see it) I think of the woman-at-the-end’s résumé. “2004 - Pepto Bismol Commercial: “Diarrhea Girl””
If you live in Toronto, or can receive Toronto TV, or have even passed within a thousand kilometres of Toronto, you’ve heard Russell Oliver the Jewellery Guy. He shows up on late-night TV, offering to Buy Your Gold. For a while he was a cheesy superhero called Cashman until some comics company slapped him down for copyright infringement. I seem to remember hearing him on the radio too–one of those middle-of-the-road soft-rock (“you call it soft, I call it mushy”) stations, but that may just be the product of my fevered imagination.
The past few years he’s been showing up in ten-metre-high livid colour on our cinema screens. <shudder>
A quick Google reveals (dear Og):
an interview:
http://www.cygnals.com/zine/complete/oliver.htm
…and an article that says the cheese is working:
http://www.profitguide.com/sales/article.jsp?content=108
In Austin, we used to have Masterbuilt Motors (yes, everybody called them Masturbate Motors.) This engine shop used to run ads where one coot faced another and said (using one of the worst twangs I’ve heard), “Why, even I could rebuild my cars engine using one of Masterbuilt Motors’ kits!” I’m sure that even he could, but who else would be desperate enough to hawk engine rebuild kits on late night television?!
The best part was where they ran out of script at the end of the commercial, so the guy turned to the camera and said “Masterbuilt Motors, Masterbuilt Motors…” repeatedly for the rest of the fifteen seconds.
Back in Houston in the early Seventies, I used to torment my sister by singing “Bill McDavid, exit seven, Gulf Free-way!” whenever we drove past that dealership. Exit seven was renumbered decades ago, but I still remember the jingle.