If she’s 13 or anywhere close to it, her father must have either had her very late in life or adopted her or else he has aged prematurely. Very prematurely. Looks more like a grandfather.
Monkeyshines? Flimflammery? Flapdoodle?
My guess is that she’s doing it for the free reviewer tickets and churns out a no-brainer review - possibly before seeing the film - in order to justify getting them.
But how is she getting free tickets to screenings that aren’t yet being screened?
Horseplay and monkey business.
It’s Duck Soup to have A Night at the Opera.
I clicked that link. I feel bad for having done so. I’m blaming it on you.
Thanks for the good laugh of the day. ~presses “like” button for this post~
If I hadn’t actually had to edit drivel like this for most of my life, I’d probably laugh a lot harder. It was physically painful to read.
I once read a novel that was written something like this, back when self-publishing was new. It was for a review for a newspaper and I was slack-jawed through most of it. The writing wasn’t the half of it; the thing was full of logical problems, time errors and other ridiculousness. I kept it; it’s on my bookshelf right now and the title is As Time Goes By. Somewhere, someone thinks he wrote a novel and a mean woman wrote a mean review in the paper about it.
I think I have PTS from that experience. Thanks for the flashback! :eek: barf smiley
I call, er, Sheboygans on this post. Horseplay =/= Horse Feathers. Otherwise, loved your post, Exapno.
My dear, sweet nephew* writes a movie review blog. He is 15. And while his grammar isn’t perfect, he is clever and insightful. He even has his own rating system. I think I’m going to tell him to submit his blog to ChicagoNow.
*He is my father-in-law’s long-time girlfriend’s son. (They’ve been together for several years, but won’t get married as they are both widowers). But I’m 36 and he’s 15, so he feels nephew-ish.
Here’s a sample of my nephew’s blog. He was 13 at the time. Sam's New and Classic Movie Reviews: Hobo With A Shotgun CR: #4
It’s okay, but I admit I laughed at “This film is supposed to be a modern day 70’s exploration film…”
His review is all kinds of awesome in that Robert Hamburger kind of way. It reminded me of realultimatepower.net and that was so successful it made me flip out and kill people when some chick dropped a spoon.
Sadly, our dear Sarah misses her mark if she wants to go down as one of the greats in the ‘it’s so bad, it’s good’ category.
Okay, don’t get all persnickety on us.
This reminds of “Sixty Second Preview”, the old radio commentary on upcoming movies. No matter how bad the movie they’d still give it a good review. And when the movie was so dire nothing good could be said about it, they’d mention the actors in the flick and how it was a “light hearted romp”. So is Sarah either a movie studio plant or a person so desperate to see her name in movie posters she’ll praise anything?
She likes simple declarative sentences.
Equipoise is far too busy watching movies to take the time to write about movies. But she is a fine writer.
She gave The Wolf of Wall Street one star, so I doubt she’s a plant.
I agree that her being a plant is pretty far fetched. I think she just really likes movies and wants to blog about them but isn’t really very good at the writing part.
In Sarah Takes On the Movies Sarah plays Sarah the Movie Critic. Shagnasty plays one of Sarah’s readers. Exapno plays another one of Sarah’s readers. Sarah is a blogger in Chicago. Her readers are not in Chicago. The movies are on the screen. The screen is in Chicago. Chicago is in Illinois. Illinois is in the United States of America. The United States of America is in North America. North America is on Earth.
In Sarah Takes On the Movies Sarah tries to be good. Sarah does not succeed at being good. The readers wonder whether Sarah will become so bad that she becomes good. Will she succeed? Will she fail? Will she team up with Robert Hamburger?
Sarah Takes on the Movies is funny but very predictable. It is a fun blog but definitely not a thinking blog. It is good to read a movie review by Sarah the Movie Critic. Cameron Diaz should play Sarah the Movie Critic in the movie version of Sarah Takes on the Movies. Shagnasty should play Shagnasty. Exapno should play the harp. That would be funny but predictable.