I don’t play mixed sports (or do anything else that’s going to cause me to have physical contact with a male), so I don’t have to make that distinction. When I was child in school, I hated, hated, hated, anything co-ed because it was frequently used as an opportunity for the boys to molest the girls and the schools did nothing. They thought it was funny. It was the first time I really understand how to hate.
Yes there is a choice. It takes less than five second to politely ask a woman if it is all right to shake her hands. Any woman who has a problem with this should be told that this is gesture of politeness intended because not all of her sisters are comfortable with physical contact in public. If she can’t understand this, well, she’s the one that’s etiquettily challenged
All of my sisters are perfectly comfortable shaking hands.
And if we weren’t, we would say so. Politely. And we wouldn’t call other women whores for being fine with it. See, that’s what real consideration looks like.
But many women have told me that this would offend them or make them uncomfortable, while only one person (you) has told me that offering a handshake (without invading space, touching you, demanding anything, or throwing a tantrum) would do so.
Just by the numbers, in my quest to cause as little harm as possible, I should take the advice of the many women over your input.
ZPG Zealot: Fighting women’s equality and setting back social progress, one hand shake at a time, since 2003.
Trying not to hijack from the subject matter. But infanticide has been the alternative for millennium for women unable to get abortions or families without access to birth control trying to limit the number of children. In all the cases involved, it was advocated as the method of last resort only when all legal channels such as abortion were blocked by someone else. Seriously, what do you expect someone to do. Just accept being used as breeder for their enemies (because obviously someone trying to force another into being a parent should be classed as an enemy)?
So ZPG demands that a man asks her to shake her hand yet, according to her, doing that means the woman is a whore. Well now it makes sense. ZPG is a whore.
No, you are supposed to kill your wife. Haven’t you learned anything from the Expert of Whore Etiquette?
Only at least 14 more times to go.
Of course they should be classed as the enemy especially the women who give birth when the man doesn’t want them to. So the women are forcing the man to be a parent and are the enemy so the man should be legally allowed to kill the woman and unborn child. I’m glad we are finally in agreement on something.
Why does one have to ask verbally? Is it okay if someone asks you in sign language? Because that’s essentially what someone is doing when they extend their hand to you. They are asking permission to shake your hand.
I’m not getting what is significantly more respectful with using one’s vocal cords as to asking the same thing vis a vis a hand gesture.
You’re a fucking psycho.
And, by extension, why does ZPG Zealot hate deaf and/or mute people?
You know, if there’s someone I want as a social worker, it’s a person who thinks men are rapists, women are sluts and children aren’t human.
She might not be. What’s apparent is she has very strong feelings about personal sovereignty. In my eyes it’s extreme but I don’t know if it’s psychotic.
ORLY?.. Hand her this pencil, will you?
Still think she’s just quirky that way?
At the risk of stating the obvious, “Zealot” is in her user name. When people tell us who/what they are, it behooves us to listen.
I would be perfectly fine with asking in American Sign Language through an interpreter if that is the only language the man speaks. Verbal consent avoids a lot of confusion. It greatly reduces the possibilities of coercion. After all one can nonverbally threaten with facial expression and body language or misinterpret nonverbal communication. When in doubt ask clearly in a language both parties understand, is always the best policy.
“Excuse me, madam, but I believe you to be a prostitute. Might I acquire your sexual services in exchange for a small sum of money?”
Sorry, I wasn’t sure, but I figure when in doubt, ask clearly. Totally not offensive. Not like a handshake, at least.
So perhaps you need an interpreter to follow you around, asks if a man extends his hands the interpreter can say "ZPG, Mr so-and-so would like to shake your hand. Does he have permission to do so? " Then you can say "no, I’m sorry, i don’t shake hands. "
Or you can mentally interpret that gesture and still respond verbally. Instead of how you currently interpret it -" He’s a rapist! "
Luckily, ZPG Zealot, you don’t need an interpreter – when a man puts out his hand without invading your personal space, without touching you (or even close), then he’s asking “would you like to shake hands?” So, from now on, you can translate this in your mind as a question asking if you’d like to shake hands, and you are free to say “no”.
If he does touch you without your consent, then I totally agree that he is in the wrong.
Hopefully this has been helpful, and can help avoid miscommunications in the future!
I remember back when I was 20ish and working in the US over the summer. My boss invited me to dinner with his family one evening which was going splendidly. Their college-age daughter came home a bit later, she’d been at the movies with some friends, and I was a bit tipsy already and it was a really hot Colorado evening and I just routinely moved in for the peck on the cheeks. Which is how you say “hi” to a girl in France, and nobody thinks twice about it (the only argument being whether 2, 3 or 4 pecks is the correct amount :p).
She had this instinctive backwards movement and flashed me the most panicked, “what the fuck do you think you’re doing ?!” look I’ve ever seen in my life. That’s when I remembered y’all don’t do that :smack:.
She shook my hand instead, but the next 30 minutes or so were a bit weird 
[Moderating]
Don’t say “fuck you” to other posters.
No warning issued.
[/Moderating]