Add to this story; not only turning it in any direction, but using any style: prose (any variety), verse (any kind), school composition, refrigerator notes, bathroom graffiti, newspaper text, police report, ad copy, wills, …ad infinitum.
To start:
Joe trudged up the last of 19 flights of stairs. Everywhere he looed in this floor he saw…
He noticed a heaping, steaming pile of pope.
FAIRVIEW ARMS
INSPECTION REPORT
Date: February 1, 2001
Location: 19TH Floor
Mr. Roland: Visitor named Joe Bradley complained about dog poop all over 19th Floor. We better get on this before the Health Department leans on us again. If Bradley comes back he’ll raise hell over it.
—Jeanette Goodman, maintenance supervisor
Mr. Goodman: Reply as soon as possible.
Health Department Survey
The results of out study of Joe’s area showed no poop and thus no health violation, rather it was Pope John Paul after a workout. Vatican has been informed of the whereabout of his royal eminence.
Study conducted by
Heath A. Reten
Health Inspector for the County of Los Angeles
*"…at the tone please leave your name, your phone number and a brief message. Thank you for calling the Fairview Arms." *
“Hello, this is Joe Bradley at 800-555-1212. I’m sorry about the misinformation. All I know is something smelled real bad on the 19th floor and my wife told me they had to replace the main soil-pipe. I aplogize and I didn’t know the Pope had been contacting a tenant on that floor. Thanks very much.”
Jane: “Joe did the funniest thing last Thursday! He went over to Loora’s apartment house–the elevator was out! He got up to the 19th floor and complained that there was some dog poop everywhere!”
Louise: “Eeeewww! Was there?”
Jane: "No! They were replacing a sewer vent pipe. Some tenant was surfing the Internet and reached the Pope!" (laughs)
Louise: “I think Stan helped build that building. And there was an ad in USA Today on Friday advertising vacancies in that building…”
Jane: “Oh yeah–here’s a vending machine with Friday’s issue still in it! Show me where it was.”
(Louise turns to the page and she and Jane read the ad):
…that last song was “C’mon Baby, Slight my Choir,” the latest hit by screech-owl and the top 10 hooters. We’ll have more of those tunes you love after this brief service announcement:
Riots are continuing to ravage the downtown area, following news that the Fairview Arms, little known haunt of the Pope, is scheduled for demolition later this week. Police are attempting to regain control of the situation without success, and have advised that city officials and the wealthy avoid the area for the forseeable future. Please stay tuned to KWTF for more information on this greusome situation…
(in lawyer’s office.)
Lawyer: “Look Sam, I’ve got to get on that Fairview deal! The city planning commission wants it demolished. Apu Gohil came in here and raised hell with me about it this morning!”
Sam (office manager): “Who?”
Lawyer: “Apu Gohil! The owner! He said something about a historical society. That bimbo Jane Bradley runs it and she’d be the first to get a restraining order to protect the building! Said her husband was in there this week.”
Sam: “So what are you going to do?”
Lawyer: “DO? I have to get down to the damn courthouse! In fact Jane is supposed to be in here any minute with the documents–”
(interruption by intercom “Mr. Goldstein, Jane Bradley is here!”
Lawyer: “Send her in! (to Sam) Here she is. Now I’ll have the documents and get the TRO before Gohil screams bloody murder.”
Sam: “And I just heard Judge Barlow got back from his fishing trip–and caught his limit!” (Sam leaves.)
Lawyer (smiling) “All right! (to Jane) All right, Mrs. Bradley…let’s see the documents.”
(So the lawyer took his case to court, and got a ruling from Judge Barlow):
In this issue of PLAYBOY, li’l Janie Barlow is all grown up! See her in her all together with Marmaduke the Great Dane!
Sam says, “Would you look at that, here in the Playmate Profile, her favorite recipe is ‘Special Tuna Casserole’ - wonder what’s special about it?”
<panoramic sweep of a small Texas town>
Robert Stack: Plains, Texas is a small town of 1500 people, near the border with Arkansas. It appears a quiet, normal town <dramatic pause> but looks can be deceiving.
<cut to the interior of a bar>
On January 15, 1991, Sam Dennis, a 39-year-old welder and long-term resident of Plains was enjoying a beer at a local bar. It was Friday, and Sam had just finished a long work week. He had a couple of beers with his friends and shot a few games of pool. At around 7 p.m., he called his wife to tell her he would be coming home shortly.
<Actor portraying Sam Dennis on the bar phone>
“Sam Dennis”: Yeah, hon. No, no, I’m OK. Yeah, I’ll be home in a bit. See ya soon.
<Sam Dennis’s grieving wife, in a studio shot>
Mrs. Dennis: Sam said he would be home in…15, 20 minutes. It’s only a five-minute drive from the bar to here. He was never late coming home from the bar on Friday. But something felt wrong.
<Robert Stack, in incongruous forest setting, walking through mist>
Robert Stack: Sam Dennis was seen getting in his car at approximately 7:15, in the parking lot of Bailey’s, in Plains, Texas. He headed in the direction of his house three miles away. <big dramatic pause> He was never seen again.
PLAINS TX POLICE DEPARTMENT–FOUND PERSONS REPORT
March 21, 1992
TOPIC: Unidentified derelict
LOCATION: East River Route Road, Plains
TIME OF INCIDENT: 08:29 am
OFFICER MAKING REPORT: Lewis Bradley, Patrolman
DESCRIPTION OF INCIDENT
At 8:20 this morning I was patrolling on the east side of the city. I saw a backhoe moving a mound of dirt on a construction site. A structure wall collapsed and I heard a loud scream. I pulled over and approached the location. The backhoe operator stopped his machine and I saw a man in ragged clothing roll out of a hole in the wall with a gas on his right calf. I called the Plains Fire Brigade. They pulled the man out. We had him fingerprinted and the prints match the ones filed in the missing report of Sam Dennis, which see.
The derelict was treated at Bexar General Hospital for his injury. The FBI and Dennis’ relatives have been contacted.
DISPOSITION OF FOUND PERSON
To be admitted to Bexar General, psychiatric ward. According to Dr. Jason McManus, subject, who was injured in 1991 and wandered for years suffering from amnesia and enlarged pores, has feeble recollections of his life before the missing incident last year but successful memory probing is indicated.
(aside: Officer Lewis Bradley of the Plains, TX, Police Department is Jane’s brother-in-law. Once a disposition of a Found Person report is effected, under Texas law [for the purposes of this thread, anyway], the subkect matter is not regarded as confidential. Joe and Jane got a call from Lewis, who first joked about Janie Barlow’s resemblance to Mrs. Joe Bradley–same coloring, statuesque figure, and loving attitude–but he told them he had found a man named Sam Dennis, whom they’d remembered from seeing the episode of Unsolved Mysteries.)
Tonight, on Unsolved Mysteries…
<panoramic sweep of a small Texas town>
Robert Stack: Sam Dennis was located by an officer of the Plains, Texas, police department, as a derelict hiding in an abandoned house on the east side of town, near the Sabine River. A backhoe operator struck Sam slightly. Officer Lewis Bradley was driving by, saw the incident, and helped rescue Sam. Sam is now convalescing in the psychiatric ward of Bexar General Hospital and is expected to make a full recovery.
Joe never returned to the building where they were replacing a soil pipe. A civil engineer himself, he concentrated his efforts on a housing project across town, insisting on not taking shortcuts to allow the builder to chisel a few bucks. A lesser engineer might have caved in, but Joe’s reputation paid off.
Meanwhile, Jane, his buxom wife, deftly played some works of Beethoven at a performance benefiting the local homeless. She had been an understudy of Glenn Gould.
The newspaper that carried her review also carried a startling story about her friend Loora Oranjeboom, an accomplished drummer:
Get laid much, dougie?
[sub]Hey, according to the OP, I’m allowed to ask.[/sub]
[posting]
Thread title: Sam Dennis
Poster’s username: Topheavy_jane
St. Attila, you’re too much! After Sam was rescued I told Joe about it. I even taped the segment of Unsolved Mysteries it appeared on. Well, I can’t help you. You’ll have to ask dougie_monty himself about that one. and Loora is kind of an off-beat but she is concerned with social issues–including habitable housing.–Jane Bradley.[/posting]
Now that you asked, St. Attlia, the answer is no. 
Man goes to counter and makes large order. Takes out his VISA card for payment.)
COUNTERMAN: “Joe Bradley, eh? Some woman named Janie was in here a minute ago asking about you. (looks around) In fact she’s still here!”
JOE (face lighting up) “Jane is here?" (turns around) “How’d you find me here, honey?”
JANIE BARLOW “Just a wild guess, Darling!” (she reaches to embrace him)
JOE*(He is taken aback. He steps away):* “You’re not my wife!”
JANIE: “No, but I could be, Joesie-Woesie!” (she persists in trying to embrace him)
JOE: “I’m not ‘Joesie-Woesie!’ Get the hell away from me! You’re the Janie Barlow from the issue of Playboy, aren’t you?”
JANIE: “That’s me, lover—”
JOE (very angry) I am not your lover! And someone served me your tuna casserole! I wouldn’t feed that slop to a dog!”
COUNTERMAN: "I might!"
(customers laugh at this remark. Janie Barlow storms out. Joe’s real wife Jane comes in a moment later and goes straight to Joe.)
JOE: “Hi, Honey!” (embracing Jane) Did you see that bimbo who was just in here?"
JANE: “I sure did! Janie Barlow! (whispers to Joe) I heard she uses foam rubber and a Wonderbra!” (Giggles.)
(Joe finishes his transaction and he and Jane leave arm-in arm. Frasier and Niles see them on their own way in.)
Meanwhile, back at the Fairview Arms, Loora Oranjeboom, she of the infinitesimal sexual inhibitions…
(Article in Fairview Outlook, local news section):
WOMAN ARRESTED
AFTER TRYST
WITH TEENAGER
Loora Oranjeboom, 39, was taken into custody by Fairview Police Monday evening after a noise complaint by a neighbor in the Fairview Arms, where she had been house-sitting for another family.
Police said Ms. Oranjeboom, a married mother of four, had allegedly seduced the 15-year-old son of the tenants, whose name was withheld by investigators.
Ms. Oranjeboom did not make a statement to the police. She is expected to be arraigned for disorderly public conduct and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
(INTEROFFICE MEMO; LEVIN CONSTRUCTION)
481 Madison Ave., New York, NY 10022
From: Donald Trump, investing partner
To: Senior Enginer, Joseph Bradley
RE: World Trade Center reconstruction
Joe:
As you know, the company directors have made prepartions to rebuild on the site of the World Trade Center. Because of the nature of the attacks on September 11, and other urgent considerations, we have decided not to continue with the suggested plans for two new Twin Towers the height of the originals and we will consider your proposal for shorter structures incorporating new safety features.
Tell Jane that Marla would like both of you to attend the fashion show we’re preparing for its opening at Mystic Seaport in March.
Donald Trump
(a string of magnets, in different fonts and sizes)
Who let the POPE out ?
To: Apu Gohil
From: Pope John Paul
HAVE BEEN UNAVOIDABLY DELAYED STOP CHANGE RESERVATION DATE FROM NOVEMBER 20 TO NOVEMBER 29 STOP PLEASE REMEMBER TO TAKE CIRCUS PEANUTS OUT OF ROOM BEFORE MY ARRIVAL THIS TIME STOP YOURS TRULY JOHNNYCAKES