Then Santa Claus Showed Up With Chocolate Cake

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

I’d look resplendent in a dove gray morning suit. Do I get to wear a top hat and white gloves with that? We eloped and missed the whole formal wedding thing before, and we’re kind of disowned from her family anyway, so don’t sweat the multiple parents thing. My parents are more fun, anyway, especially after they’ve had a few cocktails (let’s make sure we get this on videotape, we can probably win $10,000 from some show on Fox or the WB or whoever does that stuff). Kids are perfect age to be ring bearer and flower girl. It will be fun to explain to them that when a woman and a man and a woman all love each other very much, then they get married and watch silly movies. Oh, she (the other Mrs. Shibb) wants to know if you have any money. She’s not normally mercenary like that, but we are a little lower in cashflow than normal. She said you’d understand.

“Harold was the most dangerous of creatures, a clever sheep… problem was they didn’t so much fly as they did plummet”

62

I was kinda confused by this for a minute, but now I understand. It was actually Rue who was talking about spinny slicy blades, not me. It’s understandable though, we do look a lot alike. I’m tall, with white hair and a beard and Rue’s…umm… well, nobody knows what Rue looks like, 'cause the only time they see him is when he’s waaaay up in the bell tower, ringing the bells.
I coulda talked about slicing meat though. I’ve got an actual meat slicer just like this one. It works real good too, but the wife doesn’t like it so it’s been banished to the back room. Anything she doesn’t like gets banished from the house proper to the back room, or, if she really doesn’t like it, to the garage. It’s kinda silly really, I mean, the pressure cooker only blew up that one time, and the autopsy knives never hurt anybody. She wouldn’t have even known what they were if I hadn’t told her.
This is the sort of thing you need to consider before you start collecting husbands &/or wives Kallessa, no matter how fond you are of them, there’s bound to be areas in which you just can’t agree, smooth or chunky, packed in oil or water, dijon or stone ground, handcuffs or no handcuffs, and so on. You have your life all set up the way it should be, and then along comes this other person who wants things their way. :rolleyes:

63

I’m back from Etlanner. Y’all miss me? Did I happen to mention that it was an overnight thingy? It was. Meeting yesterday and today. But that was ok cause I got to stay at a friend’s house last night. That was fun and that’s all I’m sayin’ about it. :wink: Even though I didn’t want to go to this meeting (it was so boring) seein’ my friend made up for it. Bumba Etlanner is about a three hour drive from where I live.

Yes I did put coleslaw on my bbq sammich. I like it that way. It’s good. Specially if it’s marinated coleslaw which it wasn’t but it was good anyway. You shouldn’t eat beets and mac and cheese together. The colors clash and make the presentation tacky.

So Shibb and Kalley are gettin’ hitched up. Let’s see, since I am a boy who likes boys, I think that means I’m supposed to be good at arranging flowers and stuff. Ok, lets haul out the baby’s breath and orange blossoms and get this show on the road. Oh greenery. Hmmmmm… how bout some ferns? So what kinda color scheme we got going on here? Let’s see those bridesmaids butt bow dresses.

-swampbear (back from Etlanner)

64

Wow, all this talk about multiple in-laws and spiny blades has my head spinning…

I don’t have any fancy meat slicers, but I do have a food processor, bread machine, rice cooker, clay pot, crockpot, ice cream maker and mini chopper. About the only things I use are the ice cream maker and the mini-chopper. So, the rest have been relegated to deepest, backest parts of my cupboards.

I am now the proud owner of two gift cards to Pier 1 Imports so I’ve got a total of 125.00 bucks I can spend there. It’s my big 40th today so my friend gave me one card and hubby and the kids gave me another. Looks like I’ll have to pay a visit to Pier 1 and make use of the cards. I just LO-O-O-O-O-VE Pier 1, so they done good!

We are fixin’ to head out to dinner, so I get a break from cooking too!

65

<ahem> clearing throat <ahem>
HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!!
HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!!
HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY DEEEAAAARRRR TAAAATERRRRS!!!
HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!!

66

:o Aw, thanks Swampy… (looks down at the grounds and scuffs her toes).

67

You can have a top hat and gloves as long as you don’t sing Just Get Me To The Church On Time–I have an unreasonable aversion to My Fair Lady. You’ll only be acquiring a new mother-in-law and she’s fun even without cocktails (as for the rest of my family, well, cocktails may be a good idea). We must tell the little ones that not only do we watch silly movies, sometimes we talk right along with them (but only as part of a committed relationship). As for money, well, I am a lawyer, but before the dollar signs pop up, I’m a labor lawyer working for a union–it’s not just a job, it’s a vocation (translation:pays badly, but great job satisfaction). I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

68

Yeah–what he said. Only in tune this time.

Pier 1, eh. Buy candles. Or cushions. Oh, oh oh, those little dilly-dallies, you know, they’re about so big and in different colors and Pier 1 always has them. I think they’re made out of wood, or maybe metal, not stone, I know it’s not stone, but I suppose it could be pottery. You know what I mean, the things, the whichwasits, the, the, dealy-bobs. Get some of those.

Remember: Life begins at 40. I don’t know what you’ve been doing for the last 39 years, but you can start living now!

69

Right. It was Rue. I noticed on rereading, but I’d already hit Submit.

Happy birthday, Taters. Everything will be okay, Ashes. I’m sure of it. Just send the bill to Shibb or Rue or welby (where is welby?) or something.

You know what is extremely cool? When we were just about to eat dinner, my Mum called me to say that someone on the street next to her had a lawn full of furniture with a sign saying “Free- take some”. so we scooted up there and now we have another couch, more shelves and a folding chair. The couch is pastel pink but it’s in good condition and I’ll make a slipcover for it. There was an ugly coffee table and a bed frame but we declined. We’ve already got a bed and the coffee table was quite ugly.

I feel quite smug. This is our second “Free- take me” couch. I’ll maybe have to pay $40 for the slipcover fabric. It’s yeard sale and getting-rid-of-furniture time. Yay!

70

I just had a really crappy week.

Really bad, like “stuff you only have to deal with three or four times in your life” bad. I just mention this to assure Kallessa that I wasn’t trying to be a dismissive jerk with that “scared me off” post.

I was just trying to be funny (and failed, as usual), and I didn’t mean to be flip or insulting. I haven’t checked my e-mail yet either, if that gives you any idea of the time pressure. I spent a couple of hours decompressing in GQ just now.

Maybe I’ll come back later and post the details, but in a funny, devil-may-care way.P

Probably not.

Most likely, I’ll just toss out some stupid crap about monkeys, mimes, welby’s Lego[sup]TM[/sup] habit*, or sweet pickles. Or maybe it’ll be about Miss Lori’s Habenero and Horseradish Sauce, otherwise known as Miss Lori’s Sinus and Colon Cleaner.

Where in hell has welby been, anyway. I know we had an artificial feud, but this is taking things a little far.

*Yeah, yeah, I know. How in hell am I supposed to post cool weapons-building banter if my partner won’t show?

71

Poor bootles, Ex, would you like me to hold you to my virtual bosom? I’d hold you to my actual bosom, but it wouldn’t reach coast to coast. And I read your post as a funny, not snippy, if an interested bystander’s opinion means anything.

Happy birthday Taters! Forty looks darned good on ya. I’m not far behind you; just two days till I turn (gulp) thirty five. Just to be weird I’ll sing you some of the mexican version of the Happy Birthday song, but in english so it’s a little funky especially because I’m translating. *These are the little mornings that sang the King David, today being the day of your saint, we sing them to you. Wake up my love, wake up, see that sunrise has come. Already the little birds sing, the moon already has set. * Okay, you can uncover your ears now.

Swampy my dear, you eat your bbq sammich however you like. I can’t deny you anything, with your big ol’ shoebutton eyes and cute little bit of sauce smidged on your pink cheek. For the big wedding, do you think the butt bows should be the same as the gown or contrasting? Color scheme ideas? And satin is sure to accent every bulge and ripple, so I vote for that. Lead us maestro!

Thanks Lissla, I hope you’re correct about my car. I dunno about sending the bill to people though. Just because I send it doesn’t always mean they’ll pay it for me. Sort of how having more checks doesn’t necessarily mean you have more money. Learned both of those the hard way, yup. Also, I’m impressed that you can sew up your own slipcovers. That’s something I’ve always considered a nifty bit of know-how. What color are you thinking of? Red is always good, or red. I hear red’s popular this year, unless you go totally the opposite direction and get red.

And before I forget again, Bumba, you’ve got to grow these black pumpkins I just saw. I mean, they’re black, how cool is that? If you squint they look like large poo, which may be a plus or a minus.

72

Don’t worry Ex, I called you darlin’–that means I knew you were being funny. Would you and your Angel Pants like to marry Shibb, First Wife and me? You’ll have to join us in watching silly movies and will get stuck paying the pizza delivery guy, but we all may get a bunch of dealy-bobs and thingy-a-jigs from Pier 1.
:smiley:

73

I had a very strange dream last night that might have involved you (what color is your hair?) and my kids and wife the first and a Sherman Tank. That last bit really was in there (it was funny when the police tried to pull us over) and may have been a subconcious nod to Exgineer. I wish I could remember the whole thin, but we did pick up a bunch of younger folks (college age) who were hitching to the Cascades. Sorry about the trees we knocked down, but it’s not easy to steer a tank if you’ve never driven one. It was a very large tank, it sat about 25 comfortably.

74

Tanks good. Me like tanks. The Army let my brother play with a really nice one for a while.

A crew of 25, though. That’s like some kind of land-battleship.

I still haven’t come up with anything about sweet pickles, and thoughts of mimes just fill me with incohate rage. I’ll post something truly stupid later, I promise.

75

I sense someone has a red fixation. Honestly, I’m just going down to the discount fabric store and seeing what they have for $4 a yard or under. Our other love seat-sofa thing is slipcovered in dark purple velvety stuff. I’m not sure if red would go.

But then, I’m not sure that I care about furniture matching anyway. (Sound of swampbear fainting and then having convulsions.)

And don’t be too impressed. I don’t do very excellent slipcovers. Just servicable ones.

I think I’ll make muffins. I’m trying to start emptying the freezer and pantry, but I have a terribly powerful food-hoarding compulsion. It’s difficult to resist.

76

Believe this or not, but furniture styles do not have to match. It is perfectly ok to mix and match styles and fabrics as long as you can balance the overall effect. Meaning, one must be able to tie color, wood tones, etc together to gain the desired effect. Even if said desired effect is that of the dumpster out behind the Goodwill store. :smiley:

I have two different styles of sofas in contrasting fabrics, two recliners that reflect the colors in the frabrics on the sofas and end tables that or either wood or a combination of glass and metal. They look quite lovely.

See, Lissla you posted that you don’t care about furniture matching but I bet you do everything possible to balance the overall effect. Yes you do! :dubious:

77

I’m trying to do the same thing - empty out the freezer/pantry, not make muffins. I don’t need to try to make muffins - doing so comes naturally. And I love me some muffins. I do plan on making some soon - this weekend - peanut butter honey ones, from Cooking Light. And for the freezer/pantry thing, I’m doing fairly well - freezer doesn’t have much in it, so there are no hidden things hanging around to pounce. And I actually can see shelves in the pantry, so things are looking up.

I need a new dresser - and a table for my entryway. When I moved, I left my old dresser behind. It was such a cute dresser - my parents got it for me when I was around 8 - it was painted white with purple flowers on pretty green vines. Unfortunately, when they bought it it was used already, and after so many years of my abuse, it wasn’t doing well - no more mirror, and the drawers were sticking so badly I was afraid I would never get to my clothes without an ax(e). Anyway, time to get real furniture that will last a lifetime - I just have to convince myself to spend the money. It’s so nice to look at my bank account and see money there - I am so sad when I have to wave bye-bye to it, although it is nice to see the stuff that I wll get.

Susan

78

Nah, this was more like a tarsus with treads and a turret. As we added people the inside just sort of expanded to accomodate. The crew was only two or three, the others were passengers on a motley assemblage of couches just like Lissla and Swampy have. Oh, and I seem to recall there being a treehouse like superstructure that rose up off of the turret on one side. It was a wooden makeshift thing, like a treehouse. My kids were playing in it as we drove down this dirt road.

79

EXCUSE ME??? Did you just refer to my sofas as MOTLEY??? My sofas, though in contrasting styles and fabrics are, I’ll have you know, faaaaaaaaaaa-buuuuuuuuuu-lousssssss!!![

BTW, Shibb, bite me! Thanks to you, I have Monthy Python singing:

:stuck_out_tongue:

80

Awwwwww… shoot. That was supposed to read:

BTW Shibb Bite Me! Thanks to you, I have Monthy Python singing:

inside my head over and over and over!

:stuck_out_tongue: