UndeadCleopatra and I recently refined a theoretical situation question. I would like to pose it to all you Dopers.
Suppose there is a horrible disaster, something to the effect that you are the only survivor of your area and flee to a nondescript location far off. You are carrying your most commonly used bag, sans any ID. In this nondescript location, wearing your street clothes, you take a nap. When you wake up, you have forgotten who you are. You have total personal amnesia. What are your thoughts and what do you conclude about yourself, based solely on the items on your person and your bag? Consider all symbolic pins/ribbons/buttons/etc. you routinely carry.
“Now, Watson, let us see what we can deduce from the contents of the iPod found in his bag. The selection of music should tell us something about his personality and origins.”
“If you say so, Holmes.”
“Oh, poop. The battery’s run out.”
I don’t have a bag. I don’t have a bag! I do have a mobile phone, keys, lighter, and a pack of marlboro milds in my pocket.
There’s a number in my cell listed as “if found call”. It’s my best friend’s number, and I suppose if I found myself I’d call it. He can probably tell me who I am. As soon as he figures out I have no memory he’ll be telling me I owe him fifty bucks though…
Hmmmm…
[ul][li]I wear a pin that has a sort of Stalinist aesthetic to it and it says “VOLUNTEER.” It refers to nothing in particular—it was sent to the office by a pin manufacturer/distributer as a sales pitch, so it is completely non-descript in terms of what the hell it is for. I think it is hilarious. So, I would guess that I’m some sort of volunteer, for what?, I don’t know.[/li][li]My bag has a big clue on it; I’ll assume that has been washed off for the sake of the narrative.[/li][li]I have three books: The Liar’s Tale, Capitalism and Arithmetic, and Conversations on the Dark Secrets of Physics. So, I’m probably a little brainy, since the second book is a translation of the first arithmetic book ever published and therefore doesn’t count as pop-science.[/li][li]My ADD meds should be an obvious hint…[/li][li]I have all my hand exercise thingies (I broke my hand) in a little gift bag in my bag. So, I’m a meat-head. A prissy meat-head.[/li][li]I have the belt-test requirements for Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I’ll probably figure that I do that.[/li][li]Cough drops, generic benadryl, Blistex Lip-Medex, naproxin. I’m sickly.[/li][li]Some okay pens, plus a nice Space Pen.[/li][li]Leatherman multi-tool.[/li][li]Birkenstock clogs on my feet.[/li][li]A metal AOL freebie-disc container with a couple blank audio CDs and a couple DJ Chloe mixes.[/li][li]A knit cap with a dragon on it that says “WALES” & “CYMRU.” A woven cap from Morroco. A baseball cap with Spam logo.[/li][li]My Sony Clie. We should assume that was lost? Too much identifiable information.[/li][li]Since we’re taking action against someone I’ve been warned is unpredictable and violent, I’m packing heat.[/ul][/li]
What the hell would you make of that?!
For me, the problem would be easy to solve. The serial number on the gun would get a lot of information. If I had the Hollywood paranoia thing going on, then I wouldn’t use that for fear that I was on the run from The State, or a criminal. Then I wouldn’t know what I’d think.
Hmm … if I have no identification, I’ll assume my whole wallet’s missing. Which leaves me with my cellphone, most likely out of batteries, and there’s no one left to call, is there? Although, if said catastrophe affected only the general area I live in, I could still call my far-away parents, and let my mother redefine my amnesiac life according to how she wishes it to be. 
Other than that … a small book containing funny things my friends have said–that would at least prove I have a sense of humor, stilted as it is. Lipstick would prove I’m something of a girly-girl. Matches, lighters, and cigarettes would at least help me deal with a little of the stress while I figured out what the hell happened. A copy of Laurell K. Hamilton’s Seduced by Moonlight, which, to the non-initiate, would look like flat-out porn. I’d probably spend the time waiting for my Mom to come pick me up reading that. A hairclip, a set of keys (3 house, 1 car, 1 car-unlocker-thingy, a penlight, and a Superman insignia) that unlock something I can’t remember, a calculator, a penknife, and some tampons.
I think the only conclusion to draw would be that I am definitely female. sigh