There are no more new user names available on Match.com

The BBQ Pit
1

I decided the other day that my love life sucks. So, I decided I could do worse than to sign up for a few dating sites.

I started with Match.com. They want me to pick a user name. So I enter one.

Hmm…already taken. I try a few more.

None of them are available. They offer a few options where they add numbers to the bottom. One of them looks okay, so I enter it and hit Enter. I’m sure to get in now, right? I mean, I picked one of their options. It has to be available, right?

Wrong. Already taken. Huh?

I tried well over 100 names. All of them were taken. I even tried every option that they offered when my name was taken. They were all taken, too.

So to sum up, my love life sucks and Match.com is not trying to help. Oh, and eHarmony.com also told me they have no matches for me.

So, any cute, single female dopers with low standards out there in the DC metro area? :wink:

And since this is the Pit: FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck!

2

So how many "Lord Ashtar"s can there be on match.com?

3

I’ve never used Match.com, but I’m going to give you a list of three usernames right now, and I guarantee you at least one of them will be available:

  1. scabby_penis69
  2. LookinForWarmHolesToStickItIn
  3. GotGonorrhea?
4

:smiley:

5

I wonder if **ReallyWannaDoYa ** is taken. Can’t hurt to try! :smiley:

6

Well, it scans with saramamalana, so maybe you’re looking for somebody to write you poetry? :dubious:

Woo! Romantic!

7

I thought that comes later.

8
  • Peter_Gosinia78
  • HuFlungDung118
  • s00p3rc00Ld00d99
9

I wonder if that one’s taken. Did you try it?

10

I regret to inform you that #2 is unavailable(unless you are a hot single woman lookin for some no-strings attached fun).

Enjoy,
LookinForWarmHolesToStickItIn

11

(emphasis mine)

Hot? Single? Woman?? The specific nature of your request seems to imply a selectivity which is grossly misrepresented by your username, Lookin. Perhaps you should give up your name to someone without such high standards…

12

You know, I heard the same bitchin and complaining somewhere before. Was that you on the other side of the glory hole in the Starbucks on 5th street?

Enjoy,
LookinForWarmHoleToStickItIn

13

Yeah, but that was because you wouldn’t get off your cell phone. I mean, how rude is that?

14

The following screen names may well be available:

MultipleMiggs
HerpeticHeretic
StyleNecrophile
CrackWhorePimp
EdGeinFan
RohypnolWarrior
QuarterInchPenis
CaptainDonkeyPunch
ChesterTheMolester
AskMeAboutMyAnalFissure

I’m here to help.

15

Ya know, I’d be willing to bet money that Tentacle Monster is available as well… :smiley:

16

Baaaahahahaha… :smiley:

17

Cost me $50 in phonesex charges to make it through that session. You could show a little gratitude.

18

My mom did need the money…

19

SHIT! That was a WOMAN!?!

20

So…how’s your anal fissure? Mine’s fine, thanks.