what does time taste like?
Who shit in my underwear?
This one actually happened to me.
<at night>
**Friend: **the sun is a star, right?
**Me: **Yes, the sun is a star.
<we both gaze up at the clear night sky for a while>
**Friend: **Which one?
Uh, Chastain86, who is the OP of this thread?!
(Inquiring minds want to know.)
True Blue JackI…I think the universe just collapsed upon itself. 
Gold star.
I’m taking a Java course and some time a go a fellow student asked me:
“Have you seen this error before?”
When I looked at his workstation screen, the only thing visible on the desktop was an ICQ contacts window.
:smack:
Is it still ice if I leave the tray out over night?
What color is an orange?
Uh, is that a GOOD thing? *
And I’ve heard a lot about the Straight Dope Message Board. Can you please direct me to it?
True Bue Jack
- I mean this “gold star” thingee.
Not the Universe collapsing on itself.
Because everybody knows the other thing would be positive. Uhh, don’t htey?!
Because everybody knows the other thing would be positive. Uhh, don’t they?!
Hey! How come I didn’t win?
Awwww. Cheer up. We’re all winners in here. 
does the Eddie Izzard head-shaking, head-nodding bit
Here’s a question for you to make you feel better.
Who the heck is this TRUE BLUE JACK person?!
I see his name pop up almost everytime I come to this site. Well, maybe only about half the time.
It seems to coincide with times when I have forgetten to log out the last time I was here.
Or… IS IT a coincidence?
Hmmmmmmmm?
True Blue JackMan, I almost fell out of my chair laughing at that one!
This is my favorite:
(from my friend, after watching the movie Titanic)… “Did that really happen?”
Well tell us! What day of the week *is [*Easter Sunday on?
Signed: Breathless in California.
My ex (who really isn’t dumb) once asked, just after we bought transit tickets at the EDmonds station, “Why does it say ED on the ticket?”
(I told her “Because AL couldn’t make it.” Sometimes I’m quick! 
)
Another true story, miss. While I was still living with my folks a certain local parish priest told a joke about a job-seeking dog. Quick encapsulation – Oh, heck, why risk ruining it? Justin case anyone thinks it’s funny to read here goes. (little old lady’s very intelligent question follows…)
Dog comes into a small business office, carrying “Help Wanted” sign from window in mouth.
“Woof!”
Company Owner: What? What do YOU want little fellow?
Dog: (drops sign, pats it for emphasis) WOOF!
CO: WHAT?! You can’t apply for a job; you’re a DOG!
D: (Sits up, broad smile, wags tail) WOOF!
CO: Look, fella’ that sign says you must be able to use a word processor, use the computer to make spreadsheets & send e-mail, AND that being BILINGUAL is also necessary for the posit-
D: …woof, Woof, WOOF!
CO: (pointing, skeptical smile) Okay, okay. Go over to that word processor and show me what you’ve got!
D: Woof!!! (And then trots over to the word processor. Starts typing from nearby notes. 200 words a minute, no errors.
CO: (almost fainting, recovers) Wow! Good job! I AM impressed.
– But let’s see how you handle e-mail and spreadsheets. the PC is over there-
D: (is already on his way… “WOOF!”
CO: Amazing! (shakes head slowly) You ARE perfect for the job- But wait, I really need my employee to be bilingu-
D: MEEEOOOOW…
Okay, there may or may not be someone here that thinks my version is funny enough in “print”. My apologies if you think the joke is dumb…
HOWEVER—
True Blue JackRemember, I saisd that there was a follow up question from a liittle old lady type. This was a friend of my fols, BTW.
See if you can guess her question…
Was that a story about a real dog?!
Priest: :rolleyes:
TBJ
“Gosh, officer! Is it ethical for you to give me a ticket for doing 75, when I was actually doing 95?”
“Is that you?”