“Are you my mommy?”
How do they get the poop off the recycled toilet paper?
My stepdaughter calls me last night asking this:
“A friend wants to buy an iMac, can it run Windows XP?”
Math? Isn’t that the class with the numbers and stuff?
I was going to college in the late 80’s, when the AIDS crisis was new. For nearly every class I was taking , they had a person come in and discuss safe sex and AIDS and all that stuff. The result was that we all heard the same stuff over and over. And they always asked if we had any questions at the end. One day I thought of asking this question:
A buddy of mine is gay, thinks he’s a vampire and drinks blood, and shoots heroin with used needles. He recently lost a lot of weight. I was wondering; should I blow him? Then spit his spooge into my open wounds?
I had a sex ed class in fifth grade. Lasted for a trimester. Last day of class before the final exam. Teacher asks, “Okay, does anyone have any questions on any of the material we’ve covered in this class? Anything you don’t understand? This is your last chance to ask before the big test tomorrow!”
One girl raises her hand and asks, “Can boys get pregnant?”
Preface: I work in a restaurant.
These two were asked of me by customers, recently…
“Can I have a sandwich on bread?”
and
“Do y’all use real tomatoes?”
I have a fun job.
Back in '99, NASA had a press release mentioning that a November shuttle launch would be delayed due to the Leonid meteor shower. Some co-workers and I were discussing it at lunch when one of them asked, “Why don’t they just raise their shields?”
Hey you! You with the shaggy beard and erect penis !
Are you a girl?
A couple years ago I played Milky White (the cow) in Into the Woods. An audience member asked our director, “Is there really a person inside the cow?”
I walked, mooed, sat down, and even danced a little. :rolleyes:
7-8 years ago my mother, sister, and I were eating at a McDonald’s talking about the person my sister’s named after… at the end of that conversation my sister asks “What was her name, again?”
Are you asleep?
A real one from when I was working at a bath and body products store:
“Do you sell bubble bath?”
I look around at the rainbow of of bubble bath bottles on every shelf in the store…
(This is true.)
Today, in my wife’s oncologist’s office, the doc was explaining, in great detail, the chemotherapy procedure she’s going to go through in a couple of weeks. He talked about one chemical that sounded like cre-uht-nine. I stopped, him, kidding, and asked, “Is that the stuff Sammy Sosa takes?” “No,” he said, " Sammy takes creatine, and that’s different." “Oh, so this stuff won’t help her batting average?” “No, and if she plays golf, it won’t help her handicap. If it did, I’d take it myself.” 
Whoever coined that phrase “There is no such thing as a stupid question” obviously never worked with the public on a daily basis.
I work in technical support for a software company, so that means I am under the assault of the catapults of the dumb day after day, and the stupid question list grows hour by hour.
But two questions come to mind immediately:
Customer (while filling out a login form): What country do I chose?
Uhh…I’ll put you on mute to let you figure that one out
Customer: I need to know what questions to ask.
I’m still perplexed at that one
Tourist in Key West, FL
Q: Does water go all the way around this island?
Tourist in Key West, FL, standing in the middle of town.
Q: Where’s the coral reef?
Me(answering telephone at work, speaking slowly and distinctly as instructed by Boss): Name of university, may I help you?
Caller: Is this Name of university?
No, I just like saying it. You think I’m really going to answer, “Miss Tabby’s Cathouse!” :rolleyes:
(Although, believe me, some days I’d really like to.)
From my SIL:
How old will I be when I’m 65?
Actually, an iMac can run WindowsXP, if you use VirtualPC . . .
I bought a Bronx Zoo hat once. Here are two that came from wearing the hat. . .
My Dad (who is actually quite smart) : “Where is that, Brooklyn?”
A guy who was working in the gym one day : “I’m from the Bronx. Is there really a zoo there?”
True story: Orientation meeting before starting Grad School in South Carolina -
Me: " I’m from the Netherlands" Fellow (American) student: “Wow! did you drive here?”
Honorable mentions: (all true)
“Do they have Thanksgiving in Holland?”
“Do they have Christmas in Holland?”
Then there’s the one that seemed stupid at first, but may actually reflect deep insight: “Do they have summer in Holland?”