So last night I was cooking another bachelor meal (in this case, a pile 'o mashed potatoes with a can of nuked corn dumped on top… hey, I was tired, and it was actually pretty good! And even sort of healthy-like!). Now, in my tiny little dorm room, I have very limited cooking facilities (a microwave oven, a “blue-star”[sup]what Koreans call a small, portable camping gas stove…[/sup], and a toaster-oven) so I don’t do a lot of involved cooking here… mostly soups, chili, and assorted easy bachelor-chow[sup]TM[/sup] things…
So anyways, back to the topic at hand: After I boiled the 'taters until they were soft, I turned on the nuker to heat the corn, drained off the water from the potatoes, added a little milk, black pepper, and garlic salt… then I reached in the drawer and extracted my whisk.
Now, understand that this particular whisk means a lot to me! I bought it about 3 years ago on a whim… I was browsing through the grocery store near the dorm one day after procuring the usual groceries (beer and fruit loops). I like to do this on occasion, because you can find some really weird crap in Korean grocery stores! I have seen several items that to this day I cannot identify… (one day I will drag Astrogirl to the store and keep her there for a few hours answering questions). So, I was browsing: Hey! I have never seen that vegetable before in my life! What is it? What the hell is THAT? It looks like a cross between a back scratcher and a toilet brush… And looky there! It’s a handle with 6 or 7 razor blades sticking out of it! Must be some kind of vegetable slicer… Suddenly: Hey! A whisk! I didn’t have a whisk… Of course, I threw it into the basket post-haste! After all, I knew what it was, and I didn’t have one! I mean, come on! I’m only human!
‘OK,’ you are thinking, ‘so what? Why is this dumb whisk so important to Astroboy? Why haven’t I clicked out of this dumb story and gone to a more interesting and socially relevant thread?’
I’ll tell you why the whisk is so important to me: when I went through the check-out, the cashier was a BABE! AND when she got to the whisk, it caught on the edge of the basket as she pulled it out. The whisk slipped out of her hand, and fell to the floor on her side of the counter. As she bent over to pick it up, I got a really nice view down the front of her shirt!
What can I tell you? I’m a guy… the whisk is important to me.
So anyways, I cooked dinner last night, threw the dishes into the sink, and went about my business.
This morning as I stood over the sink, yawning, scratching, and preparing to make coffee, I glanced into the sink… and there was my whisk, mournfully looking back at me with tiny gobbets of mashed potatoes festooning it’s wires…
A faint “Why?” seemed to float on the breeze which would have existed had the window been open, which it wasn’t so there was no breeze, but let’s ignore that for the sake of the story, shall we?
I looked at the whisk, lying there in the sink, amongst the detritus of several days of bachelor meals (I’ve been REALLY frigging busy for the past several weeks, and hygiene has taken a back seat for the moment… after all, underwear has TWO sides, am I right guys? Guys??). A drop of water clung to one of the whisk’s wires like an accusing teardrop… and it occurred to me that I have owned this whisk for about three years, and in all that time I HAVE NEVER USED IT FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN MAKING MASHED POTATOES!
NEVER!
NOT ONCE!
Suddenly I felt really guilty!
This, MY whisk, must be the most under-utilized utensil in the world! I don’t make mashed potatoes often, so I have used the poor whisk, at a guess, maybe 5 times!
I feel like a heel!
Guiltily, I finished getting the coffee on, took a shower, dressed, gulped a cup of said coffee, and went to work… all day long the whisk was on my mind! Not good, as the work TTT and I are doing requires 8 straight hours of intense concentration while we sift through a 1200 page document; proofreading, editing, etc. before it goes to the publisher…
So, I turn to you, my fellow Dopers, in desperation! What else can I do with my poor whisk? It’s (I believe) suffering there in the drawer between the infrequent times when I make mashed potatoes… it’s lonely, unused, and depressed! Help!
BTW: before anyone goes there, earlier tonight Astrogirl and I were, shall we say, getting friendly on the bed when I had a sudden idea, and leapt up to seize the whisk from the dish-drainer thingy, where you put the dishes to dry (Astrogirl did the dishes while I showered after work…), I was shut down immediately, however, when Astrogirl said, “Whatever you have in mind, forget it!” Sorry, whisk, I tried…
So, any ideas? My poor whisk needs help!