There's a reason I only told you the incredibly offensive joke; keep to yourself!!!

The BBQ Pit
1

OK, this tale involves a phenomenally offensive joke. Seriously, if you are easily offended, or maybe even not so easily, you will hate me forever after reading this. I ask that you not continue reading if you read/hear purposely offensive jokes and take them seriously enough to complain.

Well, there’s this good friend of mine, I’ll call G. G and I are pretty close, so when I crack a really offensive joke to him, he knows I don’t mean it literally. He realized that humor of the joke lies in its offensiveness. Hence, we often try to make each other laugh by saying the most offensive thing we can think of to each other. We are usually careful not to do this when others are present.

So, G and I are at a bar, with a third party D; it must been on or near labor day. I was fairly good friends with D, but not close enough to make the jokes of type previously described. So, we’re having some drinks, and the conversation turns to pedophilia. G makes the comment that he thinks there’s a big difference between the guy who looks at picture of a 16 year old vs a pic of a 6 year old. At this point, something about the Jerry Lewis telethon comes on TV. The very tasteless offensive joke comes to my mind, and I whisper it to G. "The best part about molesting a Jerry’s Kid is that he can’t run away!"As I said before, we simply try to offend each other, and do not find it funny at all when these things actually happen.

So G think that was a good one, and calls the bartender over to tell her it. I’m horrified, and tell him NO NO NO!!! But it’s too late; she comes over and against my objections tells her. Thankfully, she seems to realize it’s just a dumb tasteless joke not to be taken seriously.

But I find out today that D is no longer speaking to G because of some conversation that night he took offense at. It could have been my “joke” that he overheard G relaying to the bartender, or it could have simply been G’s statement about guys looking at pics of 16 year olds (D has a daughter about that age). I don’t think this is the case though, because G has always preferred women considerably older than himself, and D knows this. But anything is possible.

But my point is this. G, when I tell you one of these “jokes”, KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF!!! There a goddamn reason why I whispered it to you, dumbshit!

2

Worse is getting overheard by some hidden eavesdropper who really has to try to hear your lowered mumble…and then has the nerve to get all pissy & offended. As if you had shouted it at the top of your lungs to nobody in particular.

IMO people who get offended at Honestly Tasteless Jokes (I’m thinking of one that got one of my threads closed almost before I posted it) have no sense of humor and should be taken out and maimed.

3

Thread takes turn for the worse in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

4

So, do you know why Jesus would be the greatest basketball player of all time?

Who else has a three hour hang time!

badumtish

(Just doing my part, TaxGuy. And it’s okay, Polycarp told that joke first . . .)

5

So saith the Arbiter of Humor. As I’ve said before: Some people think jokes about farting and poo are hilarious. Some people think jokes about others’ racial/ethnic/sexual/cultural orientation are a stone riot. Some people (like the OP’er) think the humor in a joke is directly related to its level of tastelessness.

And – prepare for a shocker – some people don’t. If a person doesn’t find something funny, that doesn’t mean they don’t have a sense of humor. It just means they don’t have the same sense of humor as you. Get over it.

6

“Arbiter of Humor” … yes. I like that.

7

Quite true, Miss Jodi, but the offended probably need to realize that as well. There’s nothing wrong with feeling offended if you are well and truly offended. However, it’s imprudent and unfair to presume that everyone should be as offended as you.

8

How did Stevie Wonder burn the side of his face? – He answered the iron.

How did he burn the other side? – The bastard called back!

Ha!

Do you know what a Jewish dilemma is? – Free ham.

Ha! Ha!

9

Well, only that particular type of joke.

At the heart of most jokes is a surprise. In the offensive-for-sake-of-being-offensive type joke, the surprise is not one of meaning or response, like most other jokes, but the surprise of something so offensive that you can’t believe it was said.

10

I personally prefer dead baby jokes myself, though molesting jokes are good, too.

What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?

They both have little boy’s underwear half off.
What’s the worst thing about eating bald pussy?

Getting the diaper back on.

11

Now THAT’s OFFENSIVE!

What’s the worst part about making love to a 6 year-old? Getting the blood stains out of the closwn suit!

12

Jesus walks into a motel, lays three nails on the counter and says, “Hey, can you put me up for the night?”

Sorry, just couldn’t resist.

13

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Dodge Viper?

I don’t have a Dodge Viper in my garage

Cheers, **Man W/ GG **

14

Oh, dear God.

You guys are horrible.

(:slight_smile: - saying that with a sick chuckle, not with the horror of being offended, by the way)

15

. . . This is why I never tell anyone the joke my father told me about Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor and Sammy Davis, Jr. . .

16

What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

I can’t unload bowling balls with a pitchfork!

What’s the difference between sex with a dead baby and sex with my girlfriend?

I don’t kiss my girlfriend during sex!

17

What do you get when you stab an infant with an ice pick?
An erection.

18

Eve said, “. . . This is why I never tell anyone the joke my father told me about Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor and Sammy Davis, Jr. . .”

Well, now we simply MUST know what the joke is. Give it up, Eve.

19

Why do women fake orgasms?

Because they think we care.

20

Jesus, this is a really dark crowd…