The tiny pinhole of our consciousness was never intended to accommodate the volume of data that we normally need to process every day. But some of us don’t really have a choice in the matter and long ago learned to not only adapt but find the humor in this odd and rather inexplicable handicap.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt the weight of every second passing or felt the need to count every step on the way to a destination as a way of passing the time. Things have evolved a bit past that thank TPTB. And thus I often find myself in a strange netherworld of not questioning things I should and puzzling over things that are in fact, well, rather obvious as it turns out in hindsight.
The present situation is a little hard to explain without painting a picture that ends up depicting me as being recently homeless. In fact it is more accurate to say that I was until recently . . . cheap - the two situations being easily confused by the casual observer. Also, as I have intimated, I have the most extraordinary gift for overlooking the glaringly obvious. And so it was that for several years after moving into my “new” home, I simply assumed that I would have to renovate the 60’s vintage kitchen if I wanted a dishwasher.
However from time to time the scales are lifted from my eyes, the black clouds of ignorance part and I have an epiphany. I am suddenly granted wisdom like unto the gods. It was during such a revelation that I came to realize that a dishwasher didn’t necessarily have to be a soul mate. A commitment of indefinite term and expense to a contractor and sub-contractors was not a prerequisite to what was, at it’s core, an essentially utilitarian relationship. No. There were plenty of dishwashers that would be quite happy with a much more casual arrangement - a bot with benefits, if you will. There were in fact many small, compact models bred specifically to languidly and suggestively rest atop one’s counter, perhaps for days at a time, before being summoned.
So, having no fear of pressing an already questionable analogy, I proceeded to search the interwebs for just devices . . . like a lonely man looking for an Eastern European, mail order bride. And before long, I found it. True Love!
Oh she was such a darling. Gleaming white enamel on the outside - yes, of course. Ah, but on the inside. Mmmm. A pure heart of stainless steel. I was attracted the moment I saw her - with that big oval viewing window - but then, once I understood her, what she really was at her core . . . it was all over for me. I had to have her.
While her small size was quite accommodating, she was still, how can I put this delicately - a bit hefty. Her measurements were also slightly larger than advertised and as a result it became necessary for me learn some DIY cabinetry to make room for her. But she is so lovely, both inside and out. Such a pure joy to behold - mechanically, aesthetically and in every other way (if you know what I mean) - that it was a small sacrifice to make.
It’s such a strange experience - falling in love. I could never understand why people always wanted to show off pictures of their children or even their pets. It just made no sense to me. But now it all clicked. Except mine was a forbidden love as I as so devastated to discover. Because when I tried to show people pictures of my lovely little machine, no one could see her beauty the way I could or even understand what the fuck I was on about.
But that was fine. Whenever the happiness I now knew would well up inside of me, I gradually learned to control it and realized it wasn’t something that the rest of the world was yet able to appreciate or even understand. And perhaps it was this love and not just my other handicaps that blinded me to certain mundane choices. Perhaps I felt that if I withheld a dirty cup from my erstwhile consort that I was somehow slighting or betraying her. Of course I’m sure we both understood that nothing of the sort would ever be the case, but perhaps, subconsciously . . .
), she has seemed a little more distant. Plus I thought her hinges have been especially well lubricated lately.
