OK, there might be a few of you who are aware I’m pretty shy around women, so keep this in mind while you read…
I went to the dentist’s office today for my first cleaning in about 4 years or so. (Yes, I’ve been a bad boy…) The last time I went, I had another appointment where I was supposed to get some cavities (plural) filled, but I never went. So I was expecting the worst.
Since it had been so long, they had me fill out the medical history form with almost every disease known to man on it, so I’m about half done when the girl comes out for me. Yipe! She’s very cute. Tells me to finish up the paperwork, so I do, all the while hoping she doesn’t end up helping someone else…
But she’s the one who ends up cleaning my teeth, and of course since most of time she’s got pointy metal objects in my mouth, it’s pretty quiet. I know it’s all in my mind (and the fact she’s mussing up my hair with her chest), but I feel tiny sparks, a little bit of chemistry. Par on my course, though, is not to talk about anything other than the subject at hand (wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it’d be, and how could I not have any cavities now when I was supposed to have them before?!?), and I go pay the bill without saying anything.
Now I’m sitting here wondering what she’d do if I called her at work and asked her to lunch, realizing I’m probably too chicken to do even that. What do you guys think?
I used to have the hugest crush on my dentist. She was mid 30s, short, dark hair, cute as hell, smart, funny, just a perfect person all around. After going to her for about 4 years, I asked her out to dinner. She said no. I now have a new dentist.
I know this doesn’t help you, but it does say - Been there, I know how you feel. If it helps at all, my dentist did not make me feel bad or stupid about asking her out while in her office, but there was no way I was going back after the rejection.
Just DO IT. Tell her you want to thank her for “making a painful experience i was worried about so nice”, make it sound MOSTLY like a real thank you lunch, and during the meal (don’t chew with your mouth open, btw), sound her out about a “date” lunch. What do you have to lose? If she is not interested at all she will say no to the 1st lunch- but you come across as a great guy.
I wouldn’t do it. Many of the women I’ve spoken to judge men (at least on a subconscious level) by whether or not their teeth are in good shape, along with a plethora of other factors.
So. She knows your teeth intimately. And knows the state they’re in (BTW: I had the EXACT same thing happen to me last year. I decided against asking her out). Would *you * ask someone out if her teeth were in the same shape yours are? And don’t take it purely as a rhetorical question; seriously try to imagine kissing her…
OTOH, if you truly think there was chemistry, it’s worth a shot. I mean, it’s not like that’s the only dentist in town…
I would have responded earlier, but the board has been a bit difficult to get on lately.
This is sort of true (she was very good; not rough or condescending as most of the other dental techs I’ve had were) but I wasn’t particularly worried about it. I don’t like pain, but I’m not wimpy about it.
Besides, it sounds contrived to me, and if she’s got a brain in her head, it will to her, too. Why is it you can’t just tell women the truth? “Look, I don’t want to play games. I think you’re attractive and I’d like to have lunch (or dinner), just talk, and get to know each other.”
Why does this remind me of the movie “Tootsie” and the scene where Dustin Hoffman gets a drink thrown in his face? That said, two of the most charming and memorable approaches I experienced were guys who came out and said they wanted to be my friends. I have warm and fond memories of both and it’s been more than 25 years since I saw either of them…
Frankly, I don’t see where you have anything to lose. Good luck!
I’m trying to figure out if this is supposed to be encouraging, because you remember them, or discouraging, because you haven’t seen them for that long…
One,
You must damage your teeth so you can have another appointment. (maybe dip a q-tip in acid and swab on to tooth) This time you should actually talk to her. Just a little you know. Do you like movies? What sort of music do you listen to? That sort of thing.
Path number two.
You should break in to the dentist office after hours and read her employment file. Then start to follow her where ever she goes. Keep detailed notes on all of her daily activites. Start sending her flowers and bridal magazines. Stand outside the dentist office and hold a large boom box that is playing “In your eyes”.
(Damaging you tooth on purpose is starting to look pretty huh)
Geez, Zebra, why go to all that trouble? It’d be easier to follow her home from work, knock her over the head with a tire iron, and toss her in the back of my pickup.
mrblue, meet MikeG. MikeG, mrblue. Come on guys. You want to ask her out? Do it! Do it in a pleasant way, and even if she declines, you don’t have to change dentists, or put your kid in a new school (in Mike’s situation). The worst thing that can happen if you ask her out is she says no. Now what is the worst thing that can happen if you don’t? You drive yourself fucking crazy wondering what would have happened if you had picked up the frigging phone and said about 10 words. Believe me. I’m nearing 40, and I still beat myself up about being to scared to ask out a couple of cute girls in high school. There is no way a polite request for a date should annoy or offend a reasonably intelligent human. I can guarantee you one thing. If you DON’T ask her out, the odds are pretty close to 100% you will never find out if she feels the same about you.
I used to envy guys in college who were absolutely mercenary in pursuing women. One guy would basically go up to every woman he met and ask her if she wanted to fuck. His theory was he might get his face slapped 100 times, but the 101st might say yes. Meanwhile, I’d be in the corner, ordering another pitcher, plotting and reformulating my approach strategy that I never implemented, and then going home alone. Hey, it’s better to spend the night alone after having tried, than to spend the night alone, frusttrated at your inaction.
Dammit women! How does this strike you, that the mere possibility of a woman saying “no” reduces the average guy a quivering mass of inaction? Who’s got the power here? Aargh!
Naw, man. I got no lines. I certainly couldn’t do any better than Daniel suggested. (Damn, this is the second thime this week I’ve found myself agreeing with that guy!) Reword it to suit you. But don’t overthink yourself into inaction agonizing over the perfect wording of the perfect line. I don’t think it is “the line” itself that is going to get her to go to lunch, is it girls?
All I could personally imagine would be (over the phone, sweating profusely, probably in the dark, and with at least one stiff drink in me and another close at hand) “Hi, __. This is Dinsdale. We met in Dr. __'s office the other day? I was wondering if you’d like to go out to lunch tomorrow.”
If I were feeling really creative and spunky I might go so far as, “As you were cleaning my teeth at the time, I wasn’t able to hold up my end of the conversation as well as I’d have liked. I was hoping you might give me the chance to improve upon that over lunch later this week?”
Or maybe, “I’m trying to follow your dental hygiene instructions. Would it be okay if I flossed with your thong?”
Hey, you’re just a friendly nice decent looking guy, interested in like company of the opposite gender for lunch. You both gotta eat, don’t you? If she says no, then you hang up, have a good cry, get drunk, and/or beat off, and get on with the rest of your life.
I would definitely not day “No games. I think you’re attractive.” Sounds rather wolfish/rakish to me. Face it, you obviously think something about her is attractive or you wouldn’t be calling her. And saying it creates the possibility of her misinterpreting you as superficially concerned with her looks. (Hey, even if you are, no reason to make that too obvious too early!)
I’ve been out of the single thing for some 17 yrs now. I was just as nervous as the next guy when it came to asking a woman out. If I were thrust into it again, I would tell the woman in question exactly what I thought. Damn the torpedos Mr. Blue.
Life and circumstances and the Navy took us to different places. I was seriously considering marrying one, but I really wasn’t ready for that at 20. Anyway, my memories are good.
This seems a bit extreme to me. The next time you go to have your teeth cleaned, eat a box of Milk Duds[sub]tm[/sub] and a bag of Chee-tos[sub]tm[/sub] before going in and you’ll be spending the rest of your day with her.
