“How much water would there be in the ocean if there were no sponges there?”
“Why do we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway?”
These are NOT good material for a sig! Not on this message board, not on an NFL chat board, not on a ceramics message board, not even on a Seinfeld message board. They aree not witty, clever, funny, or humororus ANYMORE!
Were they ever?
The same goes for…
(everyone say it together now!)
All your base are…
:::sound of machine gun fire:::
sub[/sub]
Hey, you don’t have to be made to work here but it …
::gack::
I love amusing workplace signs.
Yeah, I long for the days of, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
I like this site’s motivational messages.
“Today brings you one day closer to the inevitable grave.”
Somehow, it lacks that certain ring. 
I think those who have a picture of a cat hanging from a branch illustrated with the phrase “Hang In There, Baby,” should be held up for public ridicule and have all their Precious Moments and Holly Hobbie memerobilia destroyed.
All that said, I still like Carpe Jugulum
Short, to the point and gets the message across. Plus, once I put that as my screen saver banner, my manager never EVER bothered me again.
Xploder
Coito ergo sum.
I gotta be honest: I’d never heard the question about the sponges in the ocean. OK so I been living under a rock for the past 15 months.
That one’s hanging in Tony Soprano’s bar.
I do still like this one, if you’ll forgive my inevitable buchery of the Latin- I’m going by memory:
Illegitimus Non Carborundum Est.
But you’re right, there’s a lot of bumper sticker and T-shirt sayings that have been worn out and used to death.
“My other car is…” is pretty tired, even the ‘witty’ ones that say “… a piece of crap.” or some such.
Those “My Child is an Honor Student at…” are pretty goddam annoying as well… their monotony is only broken by the ‘clever’ versions that say things like “My kid knocked up your honor student” or “My son is on the Dean’s List at Springwood Penitentiary.”
Though I have to admit, I’m still waiting for the next episode of the “Jesus Fish.” First it was the chrome plastic stick-on “IXOYE” or “Jesus” fish-shape. Then it was the fish-with-feet that said “Darwin” (which I thought was clever when I first saw it.) Then there was the one that said “Truth” as it was eating the ‘Darwin’ fish.
What’s next, a stone version that says “Fossil Evidence”? Followed by an Earth-shaped retaliation saying “6,000 YO” followed by the inevitable “Made Last Thursday”?
Oh, how I wish I could claim “I LIVED IN NEW YORK CITY!”…
I’m not sure ANYONE would be too hot to say that at this point.
I’ve got a Jesus Shark. It’s rather cute.
And who can forget “Free Tibet”?
What if it says “OH SHIT!” instead? I think I remember seeing one like that being offered as a carnival prize.
Seen in catalog-
Jesus fish shape-inside GEFILTE“We’ve got no town drunk - we all take turns”
Yeah, do you schedule that on a rotating basis with the village idiot?
I’d personally like to shoot the bastard that came up with
“What if the gave a war and nobody came?” That son-of-a-bitch should have been drafted during the Tet offensive in '68.
When drinking a liquid too fast, and choking on it:
“Smoker’s cough?” (or words to that effect)
Sure, I’m choking now, but when I recover my respiratory system, you’ll be the one choking. That never ceased being clever; it has to be clever to stop being clever…
Those ‘crude-slang-word-for-defecatory-waste happens’ bumper stickers. I never got this joke at all, but it’s not funny.
How about “All I need to know I learned in kindergarden” posters? The people who display such garbage ought to have “COMPLETE RETARD” tattoed on their foreheads.
Actually, those probably also belong in the “Lame from the beginning” catergory.