Seimsi, I’m with Naz. Drinkers don’t have to be a loud or belligerant to be annoying. Alcohol changes people’s moods. It makes them uninhibited and it decreases their mental capacity. If everybody is in the same state, then wheeeeee, it’s a party.
But if you aren’t drinking, then it’s not a terrible lot of fun to be around people who are, unless you get some sort of perverse kick out of maintaining your keen perceptions while observinging people in an impaired condition. They don’t have to be slobbering, falling down drunk or picking a fight. People who are drinking seem to just talk a little too loud, lose some of their ability to be considerate of others, and don’t make very good conversational partners. I find that people who are drinking, with rare expetions, are at best boring, and more likely annoying.
Please don’t think I’m being judgmental or anything. If you enjoy drinking with your friends, then fine, have a fabulous time. I’m also not against throwing back a few, myself, on occassion, and joining in on the fun. I’m just saying that if one has decided not to drink, it’s a total drag to be forced to come to a party where everyone is expected to drink. This is how it is at my husband’s company parties. We’ve learned to sit at the closest table to the door, repeated refuse drinks all night (No thanks, we’re fine with soda. No thank you, we don’t want any beer. Very kind of you to offer, but we don’t really want to do shots. No thanks no thanks no thanks!!!), try to be pleasant to our increasingly-inebriated tablemates, applaud politely during the Awarding of Certificates, and say quick good byes (Great party, Chip! Welll, that snow’s still coming down and we have a long drive home! Thanks again!) and slip out the back door before the loud music begins. Our department’s Christmas party is dry, and, astoundingly enough, people somehow manage to have a good time anyway, and we stay for the whole affair.
Kimstu, I dare not speak for Miss Manners, but my understanding of etiquette is that, no matter whether the occassion is for business or pleasure, the host gets to decide what to serve, and as long as the needs of the guests are attended to, none of the guests have any right to complain. I.e. if it’s a dinner invitation, the host should provide a nice meal, and if refereshments are served the host should be sure there’s enough for everyone, and some effort should be made to accomodate those who might have special dietary requirments. But last time I checked, alcohol is not a need, and no host is obligated to provide it, nor to provide warning if none will be served. Under no circumstances are the guests to tell the hosts how to run their party or criticize their hosts because the party didn’t conform to their personal tastes. Anyone showing such ingratitude should be ashamed of himself.
I think the one-hour open bar is a bit bizaare (I mean, either serve drinks, or don’t!), but it’s more than a little bit sad that so many people seem to feel that a group of adults can’t come together and celebrate the season and the year’s accomplishments without the aid of intoxicants. If you really are incapable of enjoying a party without alcohol, and you have come to feel that your have some sort of right to expect alcohol to be provided at every party you attend, then your social development must have been stunted at some point, and you really ought to look into making yourself suitable for civilized company.