**Karl Rove: ** Hey, George?
**George W: ** Huh?
**KR: **I was thinking.
**GWB: **Idn’ that what I pays you for? So’s I don’ have to?
**KR: **Thaaat’s right, George. Listen: I think I can crush the flimsy skulls of two wussy little birds with one blood-spattering smash of a huge rock.
**GWB: ** We goin’ hunt’n?!
**KR: ** No, George, the campaign, the campaign.
**GWB: ** (disappointed) Oh.
**KR: **Voters hate the rich, right?
**GWB: **I guess so.
**KR: ** You needthe rich, right?
**GWB: ** Hail no, I’m a cowboy! Looka this here hat! I don’t need nobody. I will kick the whole ass of any man, woman, or chile who says— !
**KR: **George! Now focus. Do I need to get the puppets out again, or can you try to follow me without them?
**GWB: ** OK, whatever.
**KR: **So. We need to harness—
**GWB: **I’m a cowboy! Any harnessin to be done around here—
**KR: ** George. Please.
**GWB: ** (pouts)
**KR: ** We need to harness the peasants’—the *people’s *hatred of the rich, but do so without alienating the rich.
**GWB: *** (narrows his eyes) *You tryna tell me the rich are aliens?
**KR: **No George, I just mean we have to appear to go along with the common—the voters, without angering the rich people any more than we have to.
**GWB: ** Cuz I’ll kick the ass of any man, woman, or chile who says the rich are aliens! Cept Barbra Streistein, a course. She got a nose like that one dude in Star Wars, the one who—
**KR: **OK George. Anyway. So I have a plan. Phase one:
GWB: ** (brightens) Should I go get my phaser?! The one that with the little lights, that beeps? (Shoots an imaginary apple off of Rove’s head): Doozh! Doozh Doozh! P’khew! P’khew!
**KR: ** Phase one, George: We buy the rich off by giving them a big tax break.
**GWB: ** Cool. How we gonna pay for that?
**KR: ** (sighs) George, what do you pay me for?
**GWB: ** OK, Karl, you’re the boss.
**KR: ** Then, after a while, when the tax break has faded into the background, when you’re out on the campaign trail—
GWB: ** I thought we were gonna go birdhuntin! P’khew! P’khew!
**KR: ** No George, your vacation time is used up for the next couple weeks. I’ll let you know, if—
**GWB: ** I know, I know: if I’m good.
*KR: ** Thaaaat’s right, George. So when you’re campaigning, you tell the lower—the voters, the voters (snaps the rubber band on his wrist)*—tell the *voters *how you can’t mess with the tax cuts, because our (snap)—because the rich are sneaky and will just find a way to get their tax cuts. And talk a lot about ketchup.
**GWB: ** Oh, I can do that. You know how I love me some ketchup. “It ain’t food if it ain’t got ketchup on it.” Don’t I always say that Karl?
**KR: ** Yes, George, you always say that.
**GWB: ** But Karl, these tax cuts the rich are gonna get their sneaky hands on; aren’t we the ones *givin *em to the rich?
**KR: ** George . . .
**GWB: ** I know, I know. What do I pay you for . . . I’ll be good.
**KR: ** I know you will George. You’re a good boy.
**GWB: I’m a cowboy! P’khew! P’khew! P’khew!