They may not know, but WE do: it's the libertarians' fault!

Mysterious giant squid deaths

Well I, for one, will be keeping my giant squid in at night until these rogue librarians are brought to justice! Punks! Swaggering about shouting out the Dewey Decimal System at passing cars! The Nerve!

What?

Oh, you said Libertarians?
Well that’s different then, innit?

I dunno about the liberatarians, but you are at fault for one of the least useful titles ever seen on SDMB.

Fixed link:
Mysterious giant squid deaths

And it’s obviously the libertines’ fault. Drinking, carousing, spilling booze and peeing in the ocean…and we won’t even go into the tentacle thing. The poor squid just get worn out.

How about the swimmer that dragged the 191-pounder to shore? I’m not sure I’d trust my ability to judge the degree of living-impairment in giant squid enough to grab one and start dragging it around in the water. What if it was only napping? Of course, if it was rotting and bits were falling off, there are other reasons not to grab it.

It’s all the government’s fault. If they had been allowed to, people and giant squids could have found a Peaceful Honest Agreement on how to live together.

ok so something is down there killing off the giant squids. So that means it’s bigger and nastier that the squids right?

I am so glad I live far from the water.

Probably the shoggoths, we’re doomed

Huh?

OK, I get it … blame some random group for some random bad happening. But if you want this to be funny you’re going to have to work at it a bit more …

Can’t we all just get al…AHHHHIT’SGOTMEGLUBGLUBBurble…

Does no one know of the connection between Giant Squids and Libertaria? Boy, I have spent too much time here, then.

Well while you’re on the subject, please enlighten me. This is a link that has been puzzling me for ages. I believe it has something to do with lighthouses, but my comprehension of the matter stops there.

It’s not random; it’s a Great Debates thing. Whenever Libertarian would explain his version of libertarianism (Libertopia), people would quiz him with various what-if questions. “What if your neighbor bought up all the land around your house and put up no-tresspassing signs?” “What if your neighbor built a factory that spewed toxic fumes into the air?” That sort of thing. Eventually Lib quit answering these questions, calling them “giant-squid scenarios.”

So obviously, the giant squids are being killed by the duly contracted military of Libertopia (whose protection some citizens are getting for free because they never consented to pay the necessary taxes, bastards!).

Upon preview, I see it’s Libertaria. I thought Libertopia looked wrong.

Nuveena, lurker extraordinaire

Quite. A “giant-squid scenario” is one of similar ridiculousness to the scenario in which the giant squid show up one day and explain to us that they actually own all the land and we’re trespassing.

And from such humble beginnings arise the close connection between libertarians and 40’ long squid.

Been here two years and three months. You got 4 posts. I’d say you qualify.

[sub]Although, you didn’t post for a year after registering. Great restraint there that others should emulate. Then you posted next after an interval of 4 months. Next post 5 monts later. Then again about 5 months later. You seem to have settled into a pattern of posting every half-year. Good form. See you in March next year.[/sub]

Yeah, but damn. S/he is more plugged into the jargon than the veterans!

Nuveena (definitely an extraordinaire lurker!) and g8rguy are pretty much on target. One of the what-ifs proposed to Lib, once upon a time, was the scenario of an intelligent race of giant squid showing up and producing title to all the earth’s land.

So why would giant squid be mysteriously dying? A conspiracy of Libertarians working in secret to forestall such a scenario, of course!

Yes, it’s an old joke (sorry about that!), but obviously not quite worked to death, since even UncleBeer, who’s been present almost since the creation, didn’t get it. (Hi Unc!)
P.S. Balance, thanks for fixing my link!

Yeah, but don’t get all carried away.

Remember, we’re tough boys.

Its not my fault those squid wouldn’t listen to my orders. . .

[Ned Land]Wow! Those things must be 20,000 leagues long![/Ned Land]