Friend of the Court referees, I mean.
My husband had an appointment with a referee last month. He’s had to pay child support for a few years now, but he only just got a day job (teaching guitar) a few months ago. He went in, and they got it all set up to take the child support payments out of his check, and scheduled a follow-up appointment. That appointment was last week.
My husband was late. There was literally no place to park down there, it was bitterly cold, and he had to take the kids with him this time. He ended up back at home. He tried to call, but couldn’t reach anyone. Then his ex called him, and told him that he needed to get down there, because if he didn’t, a bench warrant would be issued. Husband called my uncle, who is an attorney & has been handling most of this. Uncle said “yep, get down there, or they’ll nab you for failure to appear.”
So husband gets down there, parks five blocks away, and finds the referee. He was two hours late. She ripped him a new asshole, then told him * a bench warrant was going to be issued anyway.* My husband was shocked. I called my uncle, who was quite puzzled. “If they wanted to arrest him, they could have done it right then,” he said. “I wouldn’t worry too much, but if you do get paperwork about a bench warrant, call me back.”
We got that on Saturday. Oh joy.
Of course we’re appealing. The child support is being taken out of his check (yes, he’s behind, but not that far, and they’re taking arrearage out too). He did not “fail to appear.” He showed up, and he spoke to exactly the person he was supposed to talk to. He said she wouldn’t give him time to explain anything at all–she just tore him up & down.
My uncle called the judge today. Turns out this woman has done this sort of thing in the past. I don’t get it. I mean, I understand that FOTC is not my husband’s friend, his ex’s friend (she hates them), or anyone’s friend except the courts, just like they say. But my husband is doing everything they told him to do. Sure, being late is not good. But he showed up. He’s not avoiding anything. He’s not a “deadbeat parent” like you read about in the papers.
I’m pissed and confused. I do not understand how someone that is obviously trying to do the right thing could be treated so badly. My uncle the lawyer handles cases like this all the time, and even he is confused.
I see the necessity of FOTC. I understand that sometimes they do have to take a hard line. But not this time.