There have been men and women in suits walking around my university library with clip boards for days now. I’m sure there here to take my away! I think it’s only a matter of time until they find me. glances around shiftily
There getting closer. I must go!
Can I have that if you’re not going to eat it?
Oh! I get dibs his room!
We are
-verifies pickup time on clipboard
Sure. Help yourself.
his? his?! As a matter of fact I have breasts. And no you can’t have my room. 
You’ll have to find me first!
runs and hides
Just keep saying to yourself: “I am not paranoid. I am hypervigilant.”
You should notify them that you are a Charted Member. Let’s see if they dare touch you then.
Oh, I don’t have anything to add. I just like reading that sentence. 
My god, they’ve already stolen a noun from that sentence! Run! Run now while you still can!!