Things Everyone Should Know

There are some things that you would think that everyone knows. But some people are clueless. My list includes:

  1. When using a public laundry, it is the responsibility of the person using the dryer to clean out the lint screen BEFORE running a load. It’s not up to the person that just used the dryer to clean their lint, you’re supposed to clean it before you use it.

  2. When at a flashing red light, the rule is: Come to a complete stop, then proceed with caution. I notice this one alot- at fire department lights or pedestrian crossings, people don’t seem to know what to do once the red light begins to flash. Yes, you CAN go if it’s safe.

  3. When moving from a rented abode, you LEAVE THE BROILER PAN. This is not a gift to you from the last resident. It comes with the oven.

Tell me your things everyone should know. Hopefully I already know them; if not, then I’ll learn something.

  1. Do. Not. EVER. Hit. Your. Brakes. When. Merging. Onto. The. Highway. I cannot stress this one enough. It is the best way to endanger the lives of the people behind you. Do not STOP on the freakin’ ONRAMP to wait for a break in the traffic - speed up to the same speed as the oncoming traffic and merge into a gap as if you have a brain.

  2. Don’t assume that because a woman is pregnant this somehow has given you automatic permission to touch her belly. This really creeps them out. And pisses their husbands off. A lot.

  3. I think Opal’s getting tired of the “Hi Opal” thing. Maybe we should stop doing that, too.

If you’re washing glassware in a sink full of hot water, do not rinse the glass in cold water unless you really dislike the glass (in which case, nothing will ever break it anyway). Glass doesn’t cope well with the whole quick-change between hot and cold thing, and it is likely to crack.

Always maintain a distance of at least five feet when waiting for someone else to finish using an ATM machine.

Another laundromat rule: It is acceptable to take clothes that are not yours out of a washer or dryer if the cycle is finished and the owner is nowhere to be found. However, place the clothes in a basket (either one belonging to the owner, if they happened to leave it, or one of the rolly-ones) and do not just chuck them on the floor. Until recently, I was unaware that people would do this. grumble

Look both ways before emerging from a grocery aisle with a heavily-laden cart.

Parking lot etiquette can be difficult. If you turn into a parking aisle and someone’s backing out, for the love of all that’s holy, stop your car, you have the better line of sight. I don’t get road rage, I get Parking Lot Rage.

Do not tailgate.
Do not weave in and out of traffic.
Do not put lightweight stuff like paper or styrofoam in the back of your pickemup truck. It’ll blow out and end up all over the highway.
Do not drive faster than 25 mph through a residential area. Go even slower if there are cars parked on the street. Watch for children.
Do not try to get into an elevator, or block the door, while the people in the elevator are trying to get out.
If you’re in a movie, shut the hell up. If your kid is squawking, get it out of there.
Do not applaud between movements of a symphony.
Do not get into political/religious arguments at work. Discussing politics/religion with peope who essentially agree with you is okay.
If you’re in America, at least, and you give off pronounced body odor, wear deodorant.

If you see a jogger in your neighborhood, do NOT start singing the theme from Rocky. Rocky was a BOXER, not a runner. The movie came out in 1976. It really isn’t funny anymore.

This is dedicated to the bozos who are on their front porch drinking a case of Bud and smoking Marlboros…they seem to have family in every neighborhood I run in!

If you’re getting on an escalator in a busy metro station at rush-hour, and you don’t want to walk up it, *move to the right * and let people who are in a hurry pass you on the left.

Also, don’t try to elbow your way into the metro car while people are still getting off.

When people say “pardon” or “excuse me” while you’re talking, they didn’t understand you. This does not necessarily mean you should repeat yourself as loudly as you can manage. Try saying it again, at the same volume, but clearly and slowly. Yelling at people pisses them off.

Don’t kill the messenger. Example: a product you want is not in stock. Don’t yell at the salespeople about it. It’s not their fault. People always tend to vent their anger at employees at the bottom of the food chain, and they have to stand there and take abuse for someone else’s cock-up.

When there are construction signs saying construction 2 miles ahead, MERGE, damn you! Don’t zoom around the line of traffic and be a complete dickwad up at the front, and try to cut in front of everyone! Do you know what that does? Yes, genius, it SLOWS TRAFFIC DOWN MORE because everyone is trying not to let you cut in! You know that two mile long line of traffic? It’s there because of wormy shitstains like you! If you fucking merged we wouldn’t have this problem, dumbass!

pant pant

Why isn’t this in the Pit?

(For people in the US) The Interstate Highway System follows a few rules that are incredibly handy for finding your way around, or figuring out which road to take. Odd numbered Interstates run North-South and are numbered sequentially starting on the West Coast. Even numbered Interstates run East-West, and are numbered sequentially starting in the South. Main highways are the ones ending in 5 or 0. All Interstates are numbered between 1 and 99 – a three digit Interstate number means there’s a prefix. If the Interstate number is preceded by an even number, it’s a bypass, (probably around or through a city) and will eventually return you to the Interstate you started on. If the Interstate number is preceded by an odd number, it’s a spur that goes to a specific destination (such as an airport), and is probably only a few miles long, but does not rejoin the Interstate at the end.

When jump-starting a car, you should not connect negative to negative – instead, connect to the negative terminal on the live car, then to the frame of the dead car.

For the love of Og, take the tin foil off your food before putting it in the microwave.

Unjamming copy machines is NOT HARD. Simply open where directed, look for the paper that is stuck, and yank the sucker out. There is no need to appoint one long-suffering person to unjam the copier every freaking time.

Seeing-eye dogs are not the same as pets, and you should never try to pet them, play with them, or distract them from their job when they’re working without asking their owner.

Meteors burn up completely in the atmosphere; Meteorites actually hit the earth. Before hitting atmosphere, they’re called Asteroids. There’s no such thing as “meteor rocks.” (Writers of Smallville, I’m looking at you.)

PS: cazzle, I didn’t want to bump the related dopers thread to tell you this, but we’re probably not related, as I’m not using my real name as a user name. Sorry!

LOL, I came back into this thread to stare at your user name in frustration and wonder “Are we related or not?! How could I even begin to find out, since she obviously didn’t see my post in that other thread?”. Thanks for putting me out of my misery on that one! :slight_smile:

Best use of “opal” ever! :wink:
Everyone should know:

[li]The internet is not the place to get medical advice. If something is oozing, painful, or otherwise cause for concern, seek the advice of a qualified medical professional.[/li][li]Google is your friend.[/li][li]How to search the SDMB archives.[/li][li]Don’t believe everything told to you under police interrogation. They are not bound to tell the truth and may tell blatant lies if they think it would cause you to confess to a crime.[/li][li]The right tool for the right job makes all the difference.[/li][li]Aspartame is not evil.[/li][li]How to use spell-check.[/li][/ul]

If you’re introduced to someone and there is an obvious joke or comment to be made about their name, you should assume they’ve heard it several thousand times already and don’t want to hear it again.

  1. When stopped in traffic, please refrain from cleaning out your ashtray and dumping the contents on the road.

  2. Leave wherever you go cleaner than when you got there. Pick up your trash and any other trash in the vicinity.

  3. I keep my little ankle biter locked in my backyard or house for a reason. I put a beware of dog sign up for a reason. This dog may bite you if provoked. Kids - stop coming into my back yard, leaving the gate open, and complaining when my dog chases you half way home snipping and snarling at your ankles.

  4. If you call my house and I do not answer, either leave a message on the machine or hang up. Do NOT continue to call, let it ring 7 times, hang up and repeat endlessly. I’m either not home, or don’t want to answer the phone! This goes for all of the hormone raging preteen boys who think my 11 year old daughter is hot. She’s 11 fercryingoutloud!!

Another highway one…on top of the green sign is a smaller green sign indicating the exit. Whatever side of the big sign the exit sign is flush with is the side of the road the exit is on. For instance, if the exit sign is flush left, then move your butt over to the left-most lane. Don’t try to merge over three lanes of traffic at the last minute.

Everyone should know how to balance their checkbook.

When a school bus has stopped and the little flashing stop light is sticking out, STOP DRIVING if you are not on a divided highway.

When purchasing something, keep the receipt for a few days. You may need to return it.

  1. Where and when to vote
  2. How to sew a button on a shirt
  3. How to swim
  4. How to drive a car with a manual transmission
  5. The Heimlich
  6. CPR
  7. To keep $10 in your wallet
  8. How to change a flat tire
  9. The name and telephone number of the person you want contacted in case of an emergency. Keep this with the $10 in your wallet.
  10. The way to San Jose.

Mapquest is my friend. I know have the directions to get to San Jose in my possesion.

In addition to being able to change a tire, everyone should know how to check fluids ( oil, tranny fluid, wiper fluid and brake fluid ) and be able to pump his/her own gas.

1a. Do not empty your car ashtray in parking lots.
1b. Do not open your car door and empty a cup of any type of liquid. Do you really have to dump it out right now?
1c. Do not roll your window down and spit gum out.
1d. Do not roll your window down and spit.
My list:

  1. How to drive a stick shift.
  2. Basic first aid.
  3. How to wash clothes correctly (separating whites and colors, etc.).
  4. How to cook a simple meal for at least four people (more than spaghetti and jarred sauce).
  5. How to entertain a small child for a couple of hours (beyond popping in a video).
  6. Basic car care (how to check the oil, tire pressure, where the spare is, etc.)
  7. How to change a tire.
  8. How to clean the house.
  9. How to write a Thank-You note.
  10. How to behave in a variety of social situations.

Along these same lines: if I say something like “pardon” or “excuse me,” it means I didn’t hear you! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a conversation like this:

Them: MumblemumblemumbleMUMBLEmumblemumble.
Me: I’m sorry, what?
Them: The trees!

Why, oh why, do you pick a few random words out of your entire sentence and assume those were the ones I didn’t hear?? I still have no idea what you’re talking about! ARRGH!!! Maybe I’m just cursed because it seems to be more difficult for me than for most people to distinguish speech from heavy background noise, but this happens to me a lot.

trublmakr, you misspelled a couple words in your post. I’ve fixed them. :wink:

I’m sorry, but everywhere I’ve done laundry (at home, at college, in laundrettes, etc) the rule is you clean out the lint screen after your laundry is done. The lint is from your laundry - why would it be anyone else’s responsibility to clean up after you? Besides, in many dryers the lint screen is between your laundry and the door, so if you don’t clean it out right away you end up dragging your clothes through it.
A laundry addendum: If you spill something on the washers or dryers, for the love of Og CLEAN IT UP! Don’t just shrug your shoulders and leave it - it’s either going to dry and make a big mess or the next person to do laundry is going to end up getting it all over themselves and/or their laundry.



oops… :smack:

Guess I will stop cleaning the lint trap when I take my laundry out …