Things I’ve Learned…
When boarding a large airplane, enter the plane and turn to your right to find your seat. Turning left, you will meet 3 very nice people who will then assume you’re either insane or a terrorist.
When lost, the moment the road turns from pavement to dirt, TURN AROUND and try again. Dirt typically won’t get you back to the interstate.
When answering the phone, do not assume the caller is joking with a weird accent.
I know for a fact that the following is not known by everyone:
When you have to expel waste from your body, do so in a designated receptacle. It is necessary that all of it gets into the receptactle. If any of it fails to reach it’s necessary destination, don’t panic!! Don’t run away!!! It’s OK!!! Accidents happen!!! Simply clean up the spill with the handy paper products that are available. Be mindful, however, that overloading the receptacle may cause more spillage. Flush the receptacle before it gets overloaded. When your task is completed, flush again. Continue to flush until all traces of waste and paper have gone down the drain. Warning: do not place paper of any kind in a urinal. In fact, only liquid should go into a urinal. Finally, before you leave the waste-disposal area, wash your hands with soap and water.
Or, the opposite:
Them: Make sure you get there by 10:00, and look for the line on the left side of the building, because you need to register for the hulugmskdkfnf.
Me: I’m sorry, I need to register for the what?
Them: I said, Make sure you get there by 10:00, and look for the line on the left side of the building, because you need to register for the class.
Them, aka My Wife, and I do this several times a week…
My wife does that, except she invariably picks the two words I understood to repeat to me…
“MumblemumblemumbleThe TREES mumblemumble”
“What?”
“The trees!”
“Yes, the trees…now what was the rest of the sentence?” GAAH! Give me more than just the subject!
Lately I’ve made a point of doing this to her when she doesn’t hear something I said. She doesn’t like it.
Dumbass checking in: For Pete’s sake - USE BOTH LANES 'TILL THE MERGE POINT! Not doing so makes the line longer than it needs to be.
Think of it this way: you want as little a stretch of road unusable or unused as possible. Every car in the closed lane will have to merge at some point. Might as well be after using the road as long as possible.
Nothing more annoying than seeing 2 miles of perfectly fine road unused, because all those ninnies don’t know how to deal with construction sites…especially if the strech of construction is a half a mile or so. My moron fellow road users just quadroupled the problem.
Really? Everywhere I’ve done laundry, it’s been the opposite. Besides, you’re always going to check the lint filter just in case, so why not just clean it before you start a load? Yeah, it’s someone else’s, but it’s just lint- it’s not like it’s a biohazard. Not too big a deal, though, I guess it could go either way.
Wrong. If everybody moves over BEFORE the lane ends, traffic can flow through the bottleneck without stopping. It may be slower because of the construction or narrow lanes or whatever, but it will keep going. Or it WILL keep going until said dumbass zips around to the empty lane, speeds up to the bottneck and forces his way into the line at the front. What happens? The guy behind has to hit the brakes, causing a nifty little ripple of slowdowns and stops down the whole line. This slows traffic down further, making more people try the “faster” lane because they’re in much more of a hurry than all those “dumb” people waiting in line, until everybody just stops and waits for people to let them in.
Of course, the whole “keep one lane moving” concept only works if everybody cooperates. But every day on the highway, the prisoner takes this dilemma for a ride and everybody seems to loose.
EZ (who spends a good deal of time watching this happen.)
This is beginning to sound like the toilet seat argument.
Half the people expect the previous users to extend a courtesy to the next user.
The other half of the people expect that it’s up to the current user to ensure the fixture is ready before use.
I predict there will be no consensus.
How to address, interpret and respond to printed invitations (this includes knowing who’s invited, what the dress code lingo means, and the difference between RSVP and “regrets only”).
That you can usually find a good merging spot much better by accelerating to the speed of traffic than by slowing to a crawl.
The difference between anti-lock and other brakes, which ones your car has, and how to use them appropriately.
How to prepare one really tasty dish to take to potlucks.
What your personal alcohol limit is.
A corralary to the above is:
RSVP means “respond, if you please” in English, but it is in French which is “Repondez, s’il vous plait.” Thus, you do not “Respond RSVP please,” nor do you “RSVP, please,” neither do you “Respond RSVP.” You simply “RSVP.”
I don’t think the lint argument is like the toilet seat argument at all. At least with the toilet seat argument, both sides have valid points. What valid point is there for me to clean out your lint-pube leftovers? I have a washer and dryer in my house, so this isn’t a problem for me but if I didn’t, I think I should be responsible for cleaning my own crap out of the lint screen and then you doing the same for the next person. Have any valid points as to why this should not be this way? Oh, and " Well, if it wasn’t clean when I found it why should I leave it clean for the next person", isn’t a valid point, just an excuse for being a pig.
Two, really.
First, it’s the user’s responsibility to make sure that he or she is operating the dryer appropriately to get the desired results. Part of that operation is verifying the lint trap is clean. This is the similarity with the toilet seat argument… it’s your responsibility to make sure the seat is in the appropriate configuration before attempting to sit.
Second, leaving some lint in a lint trap is not “being a pig.” It’s just lint. Clean lint.
Both your argument suck ass bughunter. Yes, you should check to see if the dryer has lint in it before you use it, but what does that have to do with whether or not it should be left there?
You think because the lint made it to the lint trap its clean? Even if it were, you think that that’s validation for leaving it there?
No consensus necessary: SolGrundy declares the final ruling.
You always clean out the lint trap after your own laundry. It’s a basic rule – you clean up after yourself. You leave the machine exactly as you found it.
Hardly! Note the key phrase from x-ray vision’s post: lint-pube leftovers. It happens. I’ve seen it. I cause it with my own generous testosterone supply, and I’ve had to touch that of others. I don’t enjoy it. So I always clean up afterwards. As should everyone.
This used to happen every day at an offramp on my commute. Then, miraculously, the people came together to solve the problem: At the moment you WOULD merge smoothly into the working lane, just DON’T. Stay in the lane that’s about to end, holding your speed even with the gap you were going to occupy. In almost all cases, the driver behind that gap will catch on and leave the gap for you at the end of the merge. Meanwhile, any would-be jerks are prevented from jumping the line (some will pass on the shoulder, but these are pretty rare).
Are you being a regulator? Yep, but from a practical standpoint, it gets you through the merge much more quickly and if others help, it can fix the problem.
This might be a bad idea in a road-rage prone area…
I admit that I’ve never noticed this. Is it just a Florida thing? I mean, I’ll watch the next time I’m on the interstate, but it took me a couple of reads to even figure out what you were talking about. But then, there are only 2 left exits in my area.
I don’t have a list right now. But I clean out the lint trap after I use the dryer, before I take my clothes out - otherwise, I end up with lint on my clean clothes, and I don’t really want that.
Unless you are boarding a 747, 757, or a 777 where first class (or business) may be to your left after boarding. 
Also on many planes you will only meet 2 people in who think you are nuts, since many planes don’t have flight engineers anymore.
[hijack] Were are interstates 1, 2 and 3?[/hijack]
How do you know which they are? Do seeing-eye dogs wear some kind of special identifier, or do you just know because the person holding the leash has the cane with the white (or is it red) tip and/or sunglasses?
People really do this? 
Why do they bother using the ashtray at all then?
Some people need to learn when it is time to shut the fuck up and when it is time to raise hell. I believe that if a kitchen screws up your order, don’t treat the waiter like crap. Politely tell the person the order isn’t right and ask nicely for it to be fixed. Don’t holler about how messed up your food is, how it ruined your night and how it “better goddamned well be free.”
Better yet, you’re lucky you have the luxury of having someone prepare your food for you and bring it out to you. So if you aren’t allergic to it, cram it into your pie-hole so I don’t have to listen to you.
Yes, the shop is filled to the brim with amazing, dazzling, enticing items; no, this should not cause you to stand still in the doorway upon entering.