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About 50% of all women under 30 are bisexual.
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About half of all women over 30 own Harleys, or are looking for a spot in the “bitch seat.”
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About 50% of all men are DJs at dance clubs on the weekend.
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All those hot 24 year old women sending me friend requests really don’t want to be friends with me.
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It is impossible to take a photograph of an overweight woman from the front. They can only be photographed at odd angles; for example, from overhead, wearing clothing that shows off their ample cleavage.
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A well-designed Web page will include blaring background music, fixed background textures that don’t scroll with the page, glitter text, and stock graphics that feature soft core porn-like scenes, urban bling, or unicorns.
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The median income of a 23 year old in the United States is $250,000.
6a) My computer, with its powerful processor, lots of RAM, and expensive graphics card, which can play all the latest hardware-intensive games at high resolutions smoothly, is painfully insufficient to view/scroll through these well-designed Web pages without chugging and/or freezing up.
oh, and
- MySpace, a baffling leap backward for WWW aesthetics and for online communication in general, is as inexplicably shitty as it is inexplicably popular.
I have learned that the only reason to join MySpace is to view the rest of the pictures on profiles so you can get the full appreciation of Something Awful’s “Mutants of MySpace” links.
I have learned that I am a bad person for reading all the Mutants threads on Something Awful, looking at referenced profiles, and joining MySpace to view all pictures.
I have learned that ratings on attractiveness are very subjective, but that poor page design is not.
I have learned that I still do not understand the point of My Space. I could understand GeoCities, but not My Space.
I have learned that I am not sure where the space in My Space goes. MySpace? My Space?
I have learned that I will surf anything in order to avoid cleaning the shower and washing the kitchen floor.
Apparently, there are a lot of people who really, really, really think I need a free iPod.
Everyone is a poet or a songwriter. Their words are profound and heartwrenching, yet fresh and hip!
The universe is controlled by forwards. See this message? Pass it on, or YoU’Ll NeVaR LoOsE uR ViRgInIty!
That band you heard on a talk show and liked won’t have a MySpace. If they do, it won’t have any music.
No matter what you are, you are hardcore. You can be one badass, crip-blasting, emo machine, even in that picture with your Auntie Wilma and her elderly dog.
Fourteen year olds understand perfectly the ramifications of entering a sexual relationship, and do not wind up cyber-stalking their boyfriends after they’re dumped.
Only the omnipresent Internet Pervert (Dramatic Reverb) cyberstalks. But he’ll never stalk you. So let’s publish everything about your personal life and not have your profile set to private. Yeah, awesome idea!
It’s better if it glitters. No matter what it is.
- There IS a place where you can continue your clique-ish behavior after high school.
That’s so weird. I’ve been on MySpace for a year and a half, maintain 9 MySpace pages, and I’ve not run into any of the above things. I know they exist, I’m not denying them, but they’re completely out of my view, kinda of like living in an apartment complex where your building houses all the decent, quiet, interesting people, while you know the other buildings are full of moronic, wild, rowdy idiots, but you never see or interact with them.
However, I would add to the list…
Some dumb fuckers thinks that talking smileys are the cutest things in the world. May they die a slow, gory, painful death and go straight to hell where for all of eternity they have their favorite music playing but constantly interrupted by talking smiley voices.
(ETA, only one of the 9 is a personal page. The rest are music-related)
This site is probably not safe for work because of its language. There is a lot of cursing in it, but it sums up my experience with and my opinion of myspace fairly accurately.
That is pretty much my experience too. I know there are plenty of morons and immature teens on the site, but since all of my “friends” on there are other adults (or bands that are geared more towards an adult audience), I don’t really see the moronic side of things on there much unless I seek it out.
Hey, I like MySpace. Sane, intelligent adults are allowed to be interested in social networking and finding new bands to enjoy too. 
Every bit of that is funny, and true for those profiles, but again, they (and you) are hanging out in the wrong part of MySpace. They don’t seek out (or want to seek out, because it’s more fun ragging on the whole thing) the decent parts.
The bottom line is, the better taste in music a person has, the better time they’ll have on MySpace.
'twas very funny though.
You got it. Thank you for having my back on this.
Well, I tried myspace twice. Basically, I got frustated with the fake emails from people and fake friend invites from obvious porn websites. I signed up two different times with two different emails and within a day or two I was receiving all sorts of come ons. It tainted the experience for me. I would much rather spend (read: waste) my time over here on the Straight Dope Message Board.
Eh I notice the more selective you are with your acceptance of your friends the less fake people you get. If any of you want to be added to my friends list E-mail me using the address on my profile
People who are over 100 years old are surprisingly attractive and seemingly youthful.
The only thing I’ve learned from MySpace is that somehow I’ve gotten suddenly and inexplicably old. And I’m only 27!
I have learned to use Facebook. Hoo-ha!
Hm, I like myspace. I don’t get a lot of fake friend requests or spam, or have to deal with a lot of what you all are complaining about. Maybe if you didn’t actively seek it…
I use it strickly to keep tabs on all of my friends, many of which I no longer live anywhere near. I know everyone on my friend’s list (with the exception of the bands), and I’m not there to meet new people. Occasionally I’ll look up people from the past I didn’t like and silently mock them…but thats about as bad as I get.
Eventually it may get old…but right now its fun.
I do the same. And I’ve managed to catch up on the lives of several old friends, which is pretty neat.
I’ve learned, by going through MySpace via my cousins’ teenage girls’ accounts (I mean I click on her profile and then click on her girls’ profiles) that being a young unwed mom is supposedly HOT and the thing to do in NE Ohio.
Whee!
Running in place said:
Well, I set up my myspace account. I didn’t do anything else. Didn’t add anyone, nothing. And within 3 days, I started getting fake people asking me to add them.
Okay fine, so I added my two cousins. Then for some reason, they started getting bulletins from my account asking them to try out condoms. I also got the same bulletin to my account from my own account. I gave up after that. So, I guess by “actively seek it” you simply mean “merely setting up a myspace account.”
Because that’s all I did. It’s frustrating and unnecessary, I can keep in touch with people without all the hassle of getting fake people asking me to add them or ads for condoms. So, yes, I won’t actively seek it any more. In other words, I won’t join myspace again.