Yes, but they’re never stuck in a long line at the ticket counter behind grandma, grandpa, and 18 grandkids (none of whom know what they’re doing) who spend 30 minutes trying to check in. Nor do they get stuck in a huge line at security because someone’s trying to take a stroller through the Xray, someone else forgets to remove their keys, and yet another person refuses to remove their shoes.
No matter how much you lie about who you are or even why you’re seeing the person, they’ll forgive you when you say how much you love them.
Every apartment complex in NYC has a doorman. He’s usually a font of wisdom who knows exactly when each tenant left and where they’re headed. Especially useful for that last minute dash to catch your true love before she flies off to the west coast.
Your coworkers spend all day talking about your romantic life. The only person who actually wants to talk about work is either a slave driving asshole boss or someone who wants to get into your pants.
Possibly that explains the lack of sequels to romantic comedies. Pretty Woman II: Trainwreck…
“Watch the hilarity that ensues as a recently divorced Julia Roberts burns through her fat alimony settlement while battling Richard Gere for custody of their son through a downward spiral of cocaine abuse, reality television, sex tapes, knickerless partying, tabloid headlines and a bloated lonely death in a sordid motel room.”
You know that cute gal who’s known you since childhood and who’s been helping you out while you’re chasing the hot blonde you met in an elevator and who clearly thinks you’re pond scum and has nothing in common with you and has repeatedly treated you like dirt? Well, it may surprise you to know that the cute gal is the one you really love! And she’s been helping you out because SHE loves you! No, I’m not kidding! It’s true! That’s why she spends so much time sighing hopelessly around you.
Obviously. And your smart, sensible, mature girlfriend? Boring and cold, of course - you’ll be much happier with the overly emotional, quirky “free spirit” who acts like a 7 year old on acid.
sadly, if this was true IRL, I would be on cloud nine by now :smack: (and a bit of )
Oh and, the amount you initially embarass/make a fool out of/be a complete assbag too/generally despise the other person is directly proportional to the amount of love you’ll have in approximately 6 months. Also, it’ll directly relate to the ridiculousness of the situation when you first have sex
A wedding has at least a 50% chance either being derailed by a rival love interest who interrupts the ceremony, or called off because one party has decided to ditch their partner at the altar.
IRL, I’ve been to nearly 800 weddings, and neither of these has ever happened (although a couple have been called off the week of the ceremony).
If on your first meeting a woman mistakes you for a lion tamer, a thoracic surgeon, or the Crown Prince of Bulungi, on no account set her straight, share a laugh, then ask her out for a coffee. You should instead spend the next six months perpetrating an elaborate, time consuming and costly charade designed to perpetuate this misunderstanding. By the time she inevitably discovers the truth, she will have already fallen for the real you so it won’t matter.
Of course if you were a mature adult, she could have discovered the real you in the first thirty seconds and saved a lot of mutual aggravation, whereas making a fool out of her is over an extended period is likely to cause any real woman to take out a restraining order, but then you wouldn’t have a plot, would you?
If you and your best buddy are wild-n-crazy, carefree, free spirit types and one of you starts to think of the other as immature, you can bet there’s a romance involved, because only romance is capable of making people mature.
And unlike the movies, I never ask if anyone in the congregation objects to the wedding. I did include that line once, by direct request from a couple who wanted their wedding to be just like the movies. Fortunately, it wasn’t exactly like the movies, since everyone had the sense to keep their yaps shut.
Drinking too much alone in your apartment and then pouring out your soul out to a girl’s answering machine at 2 am is far a more effective means of communication than actually sitting down and having an adult conversation with her.
)