Movies and TV featuring the military at war is completely different. However, when there is no war —
No matter what branch of the service, all military personnel serve in out-of-the-way, virtually forgotten outposts with antiquated equipment and virtually no discipline.
All officers are incompetent, either clueless or inexperienced. The entire military is run by 3-stripers (sergeants and chief petty officers)
There are 3 different types of 3-stripers: small-time con artists, petty tyrants, and “too smart to be an officer.” The third type is augmented by tough-but-wise drill instructors.
Enlistees also fall into 3 categories: idiots, slackers and psychos.
Despite their overall low character, enlistees turn out to be fine musicians, and often break into song or jam sessions. Talent shows typically have better performers and higher production values than Broadway musicals. Amazingly, guitars fit into duffel bags and can be taken anywhere.
A military uniform, even basic fatigues, is a chick magnet. Military bases are surrounded by communities full of beautiful young women, and even the biggest idiot on the base can find a girlfriend at least 4 points above him on a 1-10 scale.
Uniforms can be worn any which-way, mix and match, shirts tucked in or out, hats on indoors or off outdoors.
Dog tags always hang out of the clothing.
Military personnel have “hive mind.”
Military personnel will blindly follow the orders of absolutely anybody in any kind of authority position, such as a small town mayor or a drifter with a powerful persona.
Military officers have enormous patience with wiscracking, rebellious, rule-breaking cadets in basic training.
During basic training, the unit will bond at least once over a shared bottle of tequila or doobie. Nobody will receive any disciplinary actions for being inebriated while in uniform.
The most traumatic experience in basic training is the initial head-shaving.
There are exceptions, but in general, especially on TV, the following seems (seemed) to be the rule:
Not so much today, but during the 50s and 60s, recruits and lower enlisted men were at least 30 or older and sported huge beerguts.
Military personnel always wore Class-A uniforms out on the town.
Again, not so much today, but especially during the 1970s, soldiers sometimes had shag haircuts.
All Marines wear brand new cammies (BDUs, for the Army folks) that are wrinkle-free.
Female soldiers, especially officers, are drop-dead gorgeous. The male soldiers, especially officers, are chiseled hunks.
Admin clerks (“Chairborne Rangers”) are nerds/geeks/dweebs who wear spectacles.
Every hardboiled NCO caps an order by saying, “That’s an order, soldier!” God, I FUCKING HATE THAT BULLSHIT LINE!
All military personnel say “A-S-A-P.” (Maybe once or twice in nines years of service did I hear someone actually say it that way. We always made a word out of it and said, “Asap.”)
TV Marines say some has gone AWOL. No, Marines say “UA” (Unauthorized Absence).
Anyone in the military is perfectly willing to cooperate with a defense contractors plans for illegal/inhuman experiments, murder, and various immoral schemes.
Eveyone salutes indoors and without a cover.
Everyone in the military is eager to go to war.
Everyone has an enormous amount of free time, and can leave the base whenever they want.
It almost never rains in the peacetime military.
No drill or exercise is done without someone being killed or murdered and the incident being covered up.
The military is perfectly willing to pretend a new weapon system works when it doesn’t.
Subsidized housing for lower ranks looks like something the base commander would have.
There are only a few occupations in the military - pilot, infantryman, SEAL, and all purpose technical computer/rocket nerd.
A warrant officer can talk to a bird colonel as if they were equals.
Officers who swear by the regs and demand that everything be dress-right-dress and up to standard are always assholes, and they always lose in the end. It’s always the goofy slobs who save the day and get laid.