Sigh. Long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. The memory is dim, but I think the idea was that it would appeal to someone I was dating at the time. Don’t recall whether it worked, though.
Thanks for organizing it, Valerie. Even the bar ended up working. I think some of us were a little skeptical when we walked in.
** I learned that: **
Gideon bibles do have a use.
A round of drinks for 20 people at a cheesy bar in River Grove is a LOT cheaper than one in Lincoln Park or Lakeview.
On the other hand, getting a pizza delivered after midnight is MUCH easier in Chicago.
Bar tables which have large glass net floats suspended overhead and lamps which are plugged into floor outlets underfoot are a Bad Idea.
On the other hand, those same (flimsy-looking) bar tables don’t always collapse when climbed on by a Doper.
Screen names can be VERY misleading.
On the other hand… (ummm) Did I mention that screen names can mislead?
d’oh, I can’t believe I didn’t post this, and I can’t remember whom I was discussing this with, but
I learned that Hala Kahiki is the place where ex-hooters’ waitresses retire, instead of florida. (Our waitress reminded me of the Quaker Oat Guy, except she was cranky)
like GLWasteful, I learned that United Airlines is a spawn of the Devil. (Not Satan; the other one.)
I learned that it is always necessary to check email before leaving and putting your life into United Airline’s shaky hands.
I learned that it is entirely possible to misplace an entire group of demented friends you just haven’t met yet in one hotel.
I learned to never trust hotel switchboards, because some twit will NOT have heard of your group, and can’t link you up with UncleBeer, Sassy, Falcon, elelle, etc.
I learned that, in trying, said switchboard will leave your message with the wrong room–one occupied by a horny pharmaceutical rep (“Dope”, get it?) who will be sooooo enchanted and persistent that this strange lady is calling him.
I learned that you feel very strange, very quickly, sitting alone in a hotel lobby (before the bar is open) with a handlettered sign “Straight Dope” pinned to your shirt. (“Veb” and “ChiDope” weren’t improvements.)
I learned that when you flee to your room: 1.) the horny drug rep keeps calling, 2.) those flush toilets unfortunately don’t suck, 3.) television does and 4.) it’s really expensive emptying the hotel “hospitality” fridge of Dewar’s.
I learned that escaping to downtown is expensive; fun in a way, but sorta lonely.
I learned complete frustration. I was RIGHT THERE, in the same &%#@ hotel and missed all of you. When it comes to ships in the night, I was somewhere in &%$#* drydock! (Figuratively speaking; let’s not forget the Dewar’s. On second hand, let’s. The hotel bill was a killer–and I didn’t have a damned bit of fun to show for it.)
I learned the value of precise messaging. (This is my fault, guys, not yours.) If I’d known a room number or your destination, it woulda been solved. Though I considered just pounding on every door in the hotel cheerily asking, “Are you a Doper?”
Finally I learned that yes, when you are exhausted, frustrated and pissed, your car will have a flat tire in the airport long-term parking lot because the neighbors are having a new roof put on and the roofers left a nail in your driveway, causing a slow leak.
BWWAAAAHHHH!
Snivelling and disappointed as hell,
Veb
(the lobby hotel lobby siren)
Seeing that you’re a library professional and that you live in Illinois, will your evil masters be sending you up to attend the ALA convention in Chicago, July 7-10?
I’ll be there as a publishing-type, and I’ve been told I’m more fun that all those other guys (sweeping arm gesture indicating all previous posters) put together.
Sorry you got messed over. Hope to see you in July.
FWIW, it sounds like after drinking all the Dewar’s you had invited the pharmaceutical rep to dance naked in a grass skirt (it doesn’t sound like he would have needed much persuading) it would have been essentially the same experience as everyone else had. Assuming his butt wasn’t tan, or anything.
Here I was feeling all sorry for myself that I wasn’t able to attend the big bash, and then I read what happened to you. Suddenly my fun-filled wedding weekend didn’t seem so bad!
At least we got to meet each other in Des Moines. I tell you what - the next Chicago meeting, I’ll pick you up on my way.
Sounds like you and Athena should get together But you may not be able to find each other due to the idiotic people that are at front desks. This is almost identical to what happened to Athena but on a grander scale.
Next time I recommend that all Dopers at all gatherings double check with front desks, bug the hell out of them until everyone is accounted for. OH, and a suggestion, tell the people that it’s the Adam’s Reunion…this might make them feel more compelled to ensure that anyone asks will be properly taken care of.
Take a cell phone, get at least one Doper’s phone number, call that person as you drive up.
BTW Veb, I stayed at the Hampton Inn in south Denver metro this last weekend…they didn’t have a “hospitality” fridge…that’s okay, I snagged some beer, filled the sink with ice and poppped some beers in there.
