Things I miss in the WWE

I miss Tha Wolfpack – Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and X-Pac. Simply becuase of their terrible, TERRIBLE commercials that would run during Monday Nitro. One featured a beatdown of Sting (when he was busy being The Crow) done entirely in crappy stop-motion using action figures.

I also miss the Legion of Doom going on really stupid missions. In one, they were in the basement of the arena looking for ManKind to beat him up. The wound up beating up a bum who was just down there. Oh, the embarassment.

I miss RVD being good and stoned at pay-per-views. Hell, I miss all the ECW wrestlers. Yeah, they’re there, but they’re not being used correctly. C’mon, would it kill anyone to just let RVD and Eddie Gurrero just GO? Well, actually, it might, but, what a fucking match!

Well, when the outcome of a match and the winner of a championship are all decided beforehand, can you really claim the matches “meant” anything anyway? It’s like asking “What is the meaning of the shows Disney puts on at The Magic Kingdom every day?” They don’t mean anything, and aren’t meant to. They’re a bunch of song and dance, meant to kill time and entertain, and they’ll do it all over again tomorrow.

That’s pretty much what I think of pro wrestling. It’s for people who like a completely meaningless show.

*Well, when the outcome of a match and the winner of a championship are all decided beforehand, can you really claim the matches “meant” anything anyway? *

Only in the same way that it “meant” anything that [name] was the killer in [movie].

OK, this is exactly what I think!

They have to at least put up the faceade of sport to help sell it. Remember the old days? Referrees would inspect for foregin objects in the trunks and boots? Wrestler would actually get counted out and/or disqualified on a regular basis? Half the time, there is no bell to end a match anymore!

They need to bring back rankings! Being a #1 contender isn’t somethign that can be handed to the winner of one match! You gotta go on a wining streak, and climb the rankings for a title shot.

If they want to get into Management vs. Talent type things, fine. But at least mirror real life events. Have talent sit out over contract disputes. Bring back ‘Managers’ who actually manage, and trade talent amongst each other like real sports.

I’m just happy Bill Goldberg’s back. Hubby is ecstatic (being his numero uno fan) and I happen to think he’s simply yummy.

Otherwise, I would probably rather watch paint dry than watch professional “rasslin”.

I think it totally sucked that Tommy “The Innovator of Violence” Dreamer lost a match to William Regal due to a KICK TO THE FACE! THE INNOVATOR OF FREAKING VIOLENCE!

[sub]Sorry for the caps, but that one takes the cake.[/sub]

Ah. Well, if that’s the case, nothing in any fictional story means anything anyway.

(The ring is just a movie prop - it doesn’t matter if Frodo destroys it or not. He’s just an actor following a script and it’s all decided beforehand, after all.)

(So, Vader is Luke’s father. What does it matter? They’re both just actors in costumes and the whole story was written out in detail beforehand.)

(Rosebud was a sled, eh? The writers could’ve made it anything. Doesn’t matter.)

When I say the championships used to mean something, I mean that they used to influence future matches and storylines, become part of a wrestler’s character and history, etc.

Just an example to illustrate: The Magnum T.A. vs Tully Blanchard feud in the mid-80s. Magnum was the U.S. champ. He was this young guy who was way too good for his age. He carried around the U.S. title (which was 2nd only to the NWA World title), whose constant display and color by the commentators helped show just how accomplished he was at this stage. He was good and the title was proof. Over time, U.S. title matches became Magnum T.A. matches. If a competitor wanted to go after that title (which would put them in line for a shot at the World title), they had to wrestle a Magnum-style match. He became the puzle they had to solve to get that belt.

Blanchard was a cocky guy with more years of experience who became frustrated with Magnum’s success. He craved that championship - not only to put himself in that spot, but to prove to everyone that this kid could be beaten. Blanchard was able to take the title from him for a while but couldn’t keep it. Their rivalry escalated into more and more intense matches and promos, culminating with the now-legendary “I Quit” match in '85 - a match whose gore and brutality still holds up against a much more extreme era.

The reason the championship meant something is that it gave the two something believable to fight over. If Magnum had just been a young guy that was popular, a feud between the two would’ve worked but just not on this level. There was more to care about. The constant defenses of the title and “putting over” of the title made it proof of Magnum’s ability. Magnum’s talent in the ring and the belt’s prestige sort of fed off of each other during his reign (as it should always work). The fact that Blanchard was so obssessed with getting the championship made it seem like something worthy of having.

Had Blanchard won the championship from Magnum and won the “I Quit” match to turn back his series of rematches, their careers would (theoretically) have taken different paths. Magnum would’ve been forced back to the undercard. He would’ve been beaten and exposed, and this young kid would have to work more on perfecting his game and then making another run at a top spot. Blanchard would have had to defend his newly-won title against a string of challengers while preparing his own assault on the World championship.

The whole point is that the championship was valuable enough to fight over (to fight intense, bloody, prolonged feuds over) and that winning or losing it meant that your position in the company was changed.

If Magnum T.A. and Tully Blanchard feuded in today’s WWE, right now they wouldn’t even have a secondary title to feud over. They would probably have feuded for some really trivial reason (Magnum accidentally bumps into Tully while he’s walking through the hall and they exchange words - ooh, time for a match! :rolleyes: ), having maybe a dozen five-minute matches, with no real escalation of the violence and no rewards or consequences for them in the short run or the long run.