Things I want to say to or about alaricthegoth.

You’re a lawyer? Did the bar not have a written section?

It means someone is reading your posts.

So are we, dude, so the fuck are we.


Calm down.

Read what you’ve written before you hit the “post” button. Better yet, call a friend over (and very important: make sure said friend has not hit the hash pipe in at least an hour) and have him read it.

If he can’t figure out what the fuck you’re saying- and especially if you can’t figure out what the fuck you’re saying- start again.

Try using simple words.
Try to correctly use punctuation and correct capitalization.
Try avoiding allegory.
Try to ensure that your sentences are complete, and that they contain such important parts as subjects, verbs, and a coherent connection to the previous sentence. If that seems too tough, which it seems it might be, try to at least ensure a coherent connection to something someone else said in the thread.
Spacing is also important, as it keeps words apart.

It is generally acceptable to follow up one’s post with an immediate post to correct mistakes or better explain a concept. If one has to follow up one’s initial post with three successive posts to try and flesh out one’s initial thoughts, perhaps one should fucking well try writing it all out first and editing rather than immediately posting the first random blurb of text that your Mary-Jane befumed brain cells think encapsulates the entire meaning of the whole multiphasement, whoa.
Just because it is called “The Straight Dope” does not mean one should actually be high while posting to it. And I am sick of having you drop two to three threads in a row into GD where one feels a contact high from reading the OP.

Please, please, please clean up your style, okay? Just because elucidator writes flowery prose to cover the fact that he really doesn’t have anything to say does not mean that just anyone can get away with that: luci is a maestro of bullshit, a veritable di Vinci of meaningless prose. You, sir, are at best a Jackson Pollack: splattered, messy, and incomprehensible to anyone who has not devoted years of their life to the study of you.

Please, sir, reform your ways, or hire a fucking editor or something. I would much prefer to malign you for your pathetic Trotskyite worldview, but it’s so hard to even understand if you know what the fuck you’re rambling about that to discuss the subject matter seems pointless.
To end with:

It’s an alaricthegoth thread. How can anyone be sure?

Give him a break. His old man was the #3 Communist in the country. You know what those commies do (did) to impressionable young minds. It freezes them in the 60’s mindset.

I read what alaricthegoth has posted, and all I can think is: Does this guy speak this way in real life?

Dude: Hey, howya doing?
alaricthegoth: It is not that I am not doing unwell, perchance:D for the sol of your interogitory is not disunlike the opposite of other questions, no. Whereas the heretofore bigwordiness is too not dissimilar unkindly verbioseness words words words, better expressed reso:eek:lvedly in the affirmative.

Yikes, Ravenman, that’s a scary thought.

“Go away” springs to mind.

Failing anything else, he can always serve as a bad example.

Wow, that’s so simple, yet so accurate and so deep. I need to start using this in day-to-day life.

Or, as Despair says so well, It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Hah! I have that poster in my classroom. Along with this one. :smiley:

He’s not New Iskander or Psycho Pirate. He actually brings an interesting viewpoint to discussions, and after I figure out what the fuck he’s saying, I generally will disagree, but it’s a new perspective.

But it is really worth the extra effort?

Sounds liek someone got through Page 11 of Finnegan’s Wake to me. :smack:


Total nitpick, but it’s Finnegans Wake.
It’s supposed to be plural not possesive :smiley:

Isn’t that terrifying? If he’s a trial lawyer, someday one of his clients will be executed for an unpaid parking ticket. “Your honor, we refuse to recognize the legitimacy of this court, the police department, and the state’s parking meters, which were imposed after an illegal occupation!”

I disagree. It’s bad enough that we have to read alaric’s posts. Making alaric read them seems cruel. However, his friend may deserve it - just for being friends with him.

Ah, but with Joyce, are you sure?
Which, now that I think about it, is a pretty relevant comment in an alaricthegoth Pit thread.

The guy isn’t a lawyer, that’s for damn sure. I think his meaning in the title might have been something more like “Clark should make lawyers proud!”

And just when I thought the title was the only thing about that bloody book that actually made sense… :slight_smile:

Aren’t you at least a little concerned that you were able to produce a reasonable facsimile of aleric’s prose style? I’d be afraid if I could turn my brain off like that. :eek:

I am totaly, 100% sure… that it’s one of the possible interpretations.

No, he isn’t. Implications otherwise are known by the legal term “bullshit.”