Things I Wonder about

Given that the vast majority of mice no longer have balls, where do new mice come from? Will there, some day soon, be one very happy, but very tired mouse with a working ball, constantly repopulating computer stores? Will there some day be human males with optical devices instead?

I dunno, these things keep me awake at night. What are yours?

When menus disappear, where do they go to? :slight_smile:

Speaking of menus, why do women have to point at the menu as they order their food? It’s very rare for a guy to do this, but dirt common among the fairer sex. Sometimes, jsut for fun and science, I try to take the menu away from my wife in that time period after she has decided but before she orders. It’s like trying to take Linus’ security blanket!

Thanks, Sunspace for reminding me of something to lose sleep over tonight…

Why do I have to sit through a 15 min explanation of some athletes life before I get to see them race for 15 seconds?

Oddly enough, I sent my son a text Friday night saying “I didn’t think anything could make me hate the Olympics, but NBC is getting close”

Where In The US Can You Watch Canadian Olympic Coverage?

I think I have solved this one. Your confusion stems from a quite understandable conflation of different meanings of two different words - “mouse” and “ball”.

You see, the word “mouse” can refer to two different things: one is the furry little rodent, and the other is the computer input device. Further, the word “ball” also has multiple meanings, two of which are relevant here. It can refer to any spherical object, and it also has a colloquial (or “slang”) meaning referring to the testicle - the male genitive gland, usually found in a scrotal sac in males.

Now, amusingly, both types of “mouse” are often found associated with the two types of “ball”! The computer input device “mouse”…

You know what? I just got bored. I don’t feel like finishing this. You all get the joke I was going for, right? It’d only be worth a minor chuckle at most. I can’t be bothered.

How does someone stand in line for five minutes or more at a fast food joint, then upon reaching the register still have no idea what they want to order?


  • I had this written & wasn’t going to post it *

Sometimes you may find yourself in a fast food restaurant getting counter service food. Its can happen. Its not one of the better food choices in life… but it can happen. Sometimes when that happens,
there is a person in front of you whose watch is clearly broken.

They’ll be taking an hour to special order standardized counter fast food, dragging a list of all the ingredients out of the cashier and how fresh they are… when were they added to the menu, how its usually cooked/ when its cooked/
how their catfish’s aunt used to cook it better/ how it better be hot but how it better not be spicy/ how they want it cooked… all with a side of drama, sarcasm and 15 different facial expressions of disgust at every third word spoken by the counter staff.

**And you’ll stand there and Actually Feel Bad for the counter staff. **

You can see it in the counter persons face, no matter how they try to hide it, the whole “This is a minimum wage gig, I don’t get tips, and I Never treat people this way. But if I’m going to pay bills this week, guess I’ll have to deal with your sh-t.
Better hope I’m never a customer where You work.”

But the counter person won’t say this. They won’t ever say this… because they are counter staff.

But you’re not counter staff. If you had 90 minutes to kill, you’d have definitely made some better food choices. That said, why can’t you just slap down exact change of price-plus-tax off to one side and say,
“Hey. A number 5. When they’re done. I’ll be in the corner reading the paper.”

I mean, I guess that’s rude but its not like you set the tone or anything. I mean, you’re not even the rudest one in the joint.

What the heck is my dog staring at for 5 minutes after she suddenly stops and remains motionless gazing down my street?

I don’t see any people, squirrels, anything moving etc. Granted my hearing sucks so maybe it’s something she heard.

The amount of time she stays motionless is directly proportional to my desire to go back inside and get out of the cold and exponentially proportional to how badly I just realized that I have to pee.

Who put the bomp in the bomp-bah-bomp-bah-bomp?
And who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?

I do it sometimes because sometimes waiters have a hard time understanding my Anglo-accented French.

It’s all Greek to me.

My dog is laying on the carpet wtih his front feet in the kitchen, his head next to the garbage can, and his back end in the living room. I’m sitting in the living room watching TV and typing (obviously.) Every so often he will turn his head and just stare at me - I wonder why he does that and what he’s thinking. He just STARES. Sometimes he burps but usually just stares for like a minute, minute and a half. Meant to add that he only does this staring routine when he’s laying in that particular position.

I want to know if I can get alphabet macaroni in Greek. Or Hebrew. Or Cyrillic.

Why, or why, does my cat run onto the closest carpeting when he has to barf? He’ll heave and wretch on the tile, but as soon as it comes close to the actual barfing, onto the rug he goes.


Or, even “why do cats?”

Men expect people to listen to them. Women are used to people ignoring what they’re saying so they’re in the habit of reinforcing the message by communicating with words and gestures.

Ridiculous! No one listens to anybody!

Actually, you may be on to something. Maybe I’ll sleep tonight, afterall.

Except - if vanilla beans and vanilla flavoring are brown, why is vanilla ice cream white?

I don’t know if it’s that I’m used to being ignored. But I’m used to dishes having four or five word names. If the menu is closed, I’ll say two or three of what I think are the most pertinent words in that name (2-3-5, say), only to have to open the menu and point and have the waitperson say “oh - 1-4!”

Pointing to start with saves time. And, no, I’m never going to remember all five words, especially if it’s something new and 4 out of 5 of the words are nearly arbitrary. Looking at the entry also keeps me from forgetting that I want both the cilantro and the jalapena left off.