Paris Hilton
They slipped in a quick little clue at the end where she is standing in the street as a bus goes by with a banner advertisement featuring “Kate Winslet” and a sultry photo.
Kentucky Fried Chicken has been running an ad campaign on the slogan “You’re the Boss!” The idea is that when you go to KFC they have three different kinds of chicken wings and, because you’re the boss, you get to tell them which you want.
Maybe this seemed like an amazing idea in Kentucky but the rest of us aren’t as impressed by what we call a “menu”.
Not a TV commercial, but the film licensing body in the UK has started adding ridiculous descriptions at the bottom of film trailers now. I swear to God one of the Lord of the Rings trailers (or another similar film) had a warning stating that the film contained “extended scene of peril”.
And, as in all American Express ads, her signature appears as on a credit card.
Slightly off-topic, but it’s apparently incredibly difficult to kill off fungi; they’re apparently so dam close to animal in some respects that whatever attacks a fungus will also damage an animal. One really does have to be very careful with oral anti-fungals, to the point of getting repeated blood tests for liver function. As far as it being “worth it,” well, have you ever seen a really nasty case of that stuff? It’s really, truly gross. I don’t know how far it would spread if untreated, but it sure *looks * like it would eventually turn the whole nail icky anyway.
Oh yeah…
[commercial starts]
“-Phonecia-” floats across the screen in light blue letters on a white background.
A red ball bounces across the screen several times.
It gets dark and lightning strikes.
“-Phonecia-” floats across the screen again in grey letters against a black background.
The commercial closes with a screenfull of disclaimer in tiny white letters:
Stop taking Phonecia and seek emergency medical attention if you experience
[ul]
[li]an allergic reaction[/li][li]difficulty breating[/li][li]closing of your throat[/li][li]swelling of your penis[/li][li]hives[/li][li]death[/li][li]plague[/li][li]nausea[/li][li]abdominal discomfort[/li][li]anal leakage[/li][li]greasy stools[/li][li]perianal irritation[/li][li]brown eyes[/li][li]gray hair[/li][li]tremors[/li][li]vertigo[/li][li]headache[/li][li]excessive or noisy flatulence[/li][li]dandruff[/li][li]pregnancy[/li][li]hallucinations[/li][/ul]
Ask your doctor is -Phonecia- is right for you!
The thing that really kills me is that these same 4 jokers were in the mall last year making plans to call each other and then discovered that they had no cell phones. You’d think they’d have learned by now.
There’s an ad, I think maybe for Lowe’s (?), where an elf delivers a note to a woman which says, “'Tis the season for tools. —S. Claus” . The woman then closes her door and the elf yells either “thank you” or “you’re welcome” to her. Either way, I really don’t get what the ad is telling us. Does Santa want tools? Is Santa telling this woman to buy tools for someone else? Is the woman supposed to be Mrs. Claus and, if so, why have an elf deliver the message?
Any clarification would be much appreciated.
Throughout the 90’s, Pepsi’s winter ads were dumb. The two that make me go “huh?”:
A man is tromping across a snowy valley, stops, scans the vista, takes a satisfying swig off a Pepsi. That gets stuck to his lip. Huh? I want a refreshing drink, not have my skin painfully ripped off. But it gets better. He trudges through a Northern Exposure-like town, opens the door to the doctor’s office and sees a waiting room full of people with Pepsi cans stuck to their lips. Even the St. Bernard dog!!! Huh? Happening to one guy, maybe he’s a moron. Happens to 20 people, that’s just a dangerous product defect.
The other one shows, from the perspective of a convenience store security camera, a Coke routeman filling the fridge. He finishes then grabs a Pepsi out of the cooler. Hundreds of Pepsi’s fall off the shelves in a loud clatter, alerting everyone in the store of the Cokeman’s traitorous sip. Huh? Do I want to risk getting buried in Pepsi cans because they’re too cheap to buy sturdy shelves? But it’s OK. The falling cans sound like empties. You won’t get crushed but risk paying a buck for a can of air. I guess that commercial has two Huh?'s.
I’ll leave Coke’s penguins-and-polar-bears to someone else.
Although that is an interesting parody, jasonh300, there are two flaws with it:
- The side effects would be spoken, not printed on the screen.
- If the commercial had the side effects in it, the commercial would also say what the drug does. In many cases, there are advertisements that only say the name of the drug without saying what it does, because if you say what the drug is for, you also have to list the side effects.
- Stop taking Phonecia if you can’t stop saying hi to Opal. Greetings lasting more than four hours, though rare, require serious medical attention.
Bailey’s has another stupid commercial that I’ve been hating on for a long time. There’s a shot of a bar, the title “Zero Gravity Bar” appearing onscreen. Someone knocks over a glass of Bailey’s, and droplets go flying everywhere. Beautiful people swim through the air, catching drops of Bailey’s in their mouths.
GROSS! If it’s flying everywhere, in zero gravity, the droplets of Bailey’s would presumably get in your hair, on your clothing, all over your skin, making you sticky as hell. I’d be pissed.
(Not to mention that this bar must exist in outer space or something. People dressed for cubbing in zero gravity. Stupid premise.)
That might actually help treat depression.
The commercials that make me go “huh?” are the ones for Enzyte and one of the other ED drugs. They always show the guys only from the waist up and smiling and everyone else is looking at them with a mixture of amazement, wonder, disbelief and jealousy. So are they actually walking around with huge boners? Is that what the advertisers what us to think? Is that really a good selling point? I know guys like their bits to work when they want them to but I thought they really didn’t want them to be at full attention all the time. I understand that can get painful after a while.
There was a recent ad for a car rental company (I think it was Advantage) in which a couple was deciding which company to rent a car from. The wife was talking up how great Advantage was and said they had hundreds of locations. The husband asked “Even in airports!?!” in total amazement. The wife must have grown numb to her husband’s stupid questions because she didn’t give the obvious response, “Of course in airports, you idiot! Have you ever heard of a car rental company that didn’t have locations in airports? Three quarters of the car rental locations in the world are in airports! I can’t believe I married such a moron!”
I think it’s for Enterprise because they used to not be in many (or any?) airports. The business plan was to rent to people who needed a car for longer time periods, like maybe their own car is getting repaired or what have you. Apparently, Enterprise recently wised up and decided that the airport is where the real action is. Why the hall they didn’t figure this out years ago is beyond me.
I just now saw a DHL commercial, where the deliveryman can’t get the package through the office mail slot or transom, so he removes the door with a screwdriver, delivers the package and puts the door back on.
“DHL: We break into your house while you’re at work!”
He removes the brass frame around the mail slot – not the door.
Enzyte isn’t a prescriptin medication; it’s one of many snake-oil treatments that have started taking on names that sound like real prescription medications. It’s also marketed as a “male enhancer” – it claims to make things bigger, not harder.
No, it claims to make things harder as well. They don’t go so far as to claim that it’ll turn Mr. Limpy into Mr. Rockhard, but they do say things like, “A new firmness, etc., etc., etc.” which implies if you’re 90% the way there, it’ll put you over the top.
I’m puzzled by the ad for the new sleeping pill called “Lunesta” I think. In the list of side-effects, they mention “drowsiness.” Wouldn’t that be THE effect of the drug, not a “side-effect?”
There are two people in the same commercial (the other is a man) who say the “low risk of sexual side effects” line one right after the other. It sounds so completely artificial to me, because “low risk of sexual side effects” just doesn’t strike me as the way people would talk about such things. And for two people to say it in rapid succession makes it sound even phonier.
I think the idea is that they can cause drowsiness at the wrong time, for example when one is driving to work in the morning after not “devoting a full eight hours to slepp” as the commercial suggests. The drug persists in the body which can lead to untimely drowsiness.