You can outrun a shockwave from an explosion. But only if both you and it are in slow motion.
Your nemesis is more intelligent and more sophisticated than you. Between him and your wise-cracking sidekick, you’re pretty much limited to pithy comments and an occasional bad pun.
Yeah, your gun has unlimited bullets. But you don’t win the fight until you punch the other guy out.
What else?
If someone tells you they are going to kill you last…they’re lying.
A single shot will kill a henchman, but the hero or villain require more.
There are no legal ramifications of driving fast through a busy city, running red lights, and causing innocent bystanders to crash their cars into them. You will not get a ticket, nor will you be sued for damages.
Cars that go over a drop always explode.
(Honestly, you’d think the auto manufacturers would do something about that!)
Beware if the villain looks like John Travolta.
(because he is John Travolta!)
The hero, using a handgun whilst running, is always more accurate than a bad guy with a sniper rifle who has been in position for ages.
When someone is chasing you, run to the roof of a building.
Crashing through plate glass on to a concrete sidewalk doesn’t really hurt all that much, and is the kind of thing you can just shrug off with a ‘Phew!’ expression.
If you are a Hero Person, a good sneaky move is to hide somewhere, like up one tree in a huge forest of trees, and then wait until the Bad Person strolls by, and then drop on him. Of course, how you know he’s going to walk under your tree at the right time is… um, well, that’s not something we need to worry about right now. Moving on…
At night, streets are wet and shiny and look exciting. Always. Always, always, always.
Bad Persons have scars. Or, having a scar turns you into a Bad Person. We’re not sure which.
Bad Persons use Magic Machine Guns ™ that can spew out a gazillion bullets a second at a Hero Person, standing ten paces away, and miss.
The only known way to tie a Hero Person to a chair is with thick coils of fibrous rope that, quite frankly, a lazy kitten could escape from.
In most high-stress situations where a Bad Person is trying very hard to kill you and you face near-certain death, an appropriate response (and a good way to use your time) is to make droll, witty remarks.
The people who design and install ventilation shafts are driven, more than anything, to provide escape routes for Hero Persons. That’s why they have covers and grilles that can be removed by a little twiddling or a good shove, and are person-sized, cleanish and easy to crawl along. Also, ventilation shafts are routinely built into things, like prison cells, that you might think wouldn’t really need them.
Brawn > Brains; the overmuscled hero always beats the brainy villain.
Women are not only strong enough to fight large men hand to hand on an even basis, they can do so without developing large muscles themselves or unsightly scars.
Cars can jump huge distances, land hard, and still run fine. No need to worry about ruining the suspension or anything like that !
People in cars that jump huge distances and land hard never need to worry about getting hurt. At least as long as it lands on the wheels; if it lands on the side or roof it’s an explosion waiting to happen.
Any footchase through an urban environment will inevitably lead to a run-through of a kitchen of an Asian restaurant, much to the bewilderment of the staff.
If it’s a Japanese action movie, the guy with the dyed blonde hair is always the biggest psycho. Always.
It is quite safe to fire your weapon in a public place as ricochets actually consume the bullets in a flash of light and tinny ping.
When driving your car, make sure to move the wheel vigorously every few seconds to enusure that you stay on a straight line.
It is also quite safe to club a bad guy on the back of the head with a handgun. This always results in a KO and no lasting damage to the perp.
When you have the bad guy cornered, there is always a machette/cleaver nearby. No need to worry, as he will swing it quickly around a foot away from you before taking the slow motion move to decapitate you. Thereby giving you an opening to step in and rapidly disarm/embed it back in his head.
Helicopters - Shooting towards the back will always hit the fuel tank. The chopper will either explode immediately or more likely dive rapidly towards the ground.
Shooting towards the front of the chopper always hits the pilot. Therefore make sure you always sit in the copilots seat.
Shooting the tail rotor (weapon doesn’t matter) sends the chopper spinning to ground.
Helicopters are nothing to worry about.
This list of things evil overlords should do used to be available as a dashboard widget for Mac, back when 10.4 was young and widgets roamed freely over the earth…
Here is the other half of the list.
I plugged all of those lists into a ‘quote of the day’ today screen applet for my Dell axim pocketPC. (Probably very like a dashboard widget.)
Too bad that applet doesn’t work on the windows mobile 5 today screen. 
Is the criminal organisation you’re currently intent on destroying headed by a shadowy and anonymous Mr Big? Do you have an ally or superior with an upper-class English accent? Shoot him now and go home: your work is done.
If you tell your boss the big break in the case and his immediate response is to ask if anyone else knows about it, shoot him.
Shot, burned, buried under whole buildings - major bad guys are not dead until or unless: a) you make a joke when you kill them
b) their death is in some way “ironic” (i.e. you turn their special weapon on them; refute their oft-iterated cod-philosophy; get help from an ally they had dismissed as weak or foolish)
c) they plummet. Nothing kills like an agonised plummet, hands flailing as they plunge towards their doom. It’s like, a metaphor for their fall from grace, see?
Women: from innocent bystanders caught up in events to battle-hardened remorselessly trained secret agents - come the finale, they will turn into a total liability. If you’re very lucky she might, 10 minutes into your fight with Mr UberBad, hand you a weapon or hit him ineffectually over the head with tyre iron. But I wouldn’t count on it.
No matter how many times you shoot the main bad guy he just comes right on back.
Don’t worry about the dog. Dogs are immortal.
All asians ( good, bad and somewhere inbetween) are Black Belts ++++ in Several kinds of martial arts.
If you live in a city filled with 300 billion people across the ocean and move to LA, you will run into An Old Family Friend by chance on the street and somehow Open Up a Can of Worms that requires some serious Kick Ass That Only You Can Do.
**Old and Busted: ** Women running from Bad Guy and tripping over a microcosm of dust to be caught by The Bad Guy.
New and Kick Ass: Women not only fight The Bad Guy, they will be equal to them in strength and endurance.
Gravity does not apply to any Martial Arts Fight Scene. (Neither does a plot.)
Black Men in Martial Arts films SPEAK REALLY LOUD. Chris Tucker, I’m talking to you, you one trick pony.
Only when the Female Interest is in Some Kind of Peril, while the Hero actually realize Just How Much He Loves Her.
Bad Guys always have a Veddy Proper English Accent.
Or he might take off his mask and be TOM CRUISE! (In which case you probably also should beware)
If the villain looks like John Travolta, the chances are that you aren’t just in an action movie, but a spectacularly bad one.
In fact, if you meet anyone who looks or talks like Jeremy Irons or Alan Rickman, you should probably just cap his ass as a general precaution. You’ll be glad you did later.
When the bumbling, mis-guided police force mistakenly starts chasing the heros (who’re on their way to stop the bad guys) there are apparently hundreds of patrol cars all over the city just aching to run into each other during the pursuit.
Large scale drug deals ALWAYS go sour.
Good guys spend all their down time fixing an old beat down boat.
All gun shot wounds recieved by the good guy are recieved in the shoulder.