Things I've learned from War Movies

All British officers are upper class twits who cant make decisions,have no offensive spirit and ignore the visiting American when he tries to get them to DO something.
Of course hes the only real man there.

No German officer worth his salt will disobey the standing order that all officers in areas out of the fighting MUST be accompanied by a snare drummer just out of sight.

Vietnam era the rag tag of unenthusiastic recruits in boot camp will eventually come together and pass out as well trained soldiers and then go to Vietnam and wander about in
shambling mobs ,smoking, chatting to each other,playing transistor radios and not bothering to keep a lookout.

The N.C.O who likes to be his squads friend off duty,smokes dope ,has long hair hates the war but cares about the locals and is a nice person is the best senior soldier.
The guy who just wants to kill the enemy,instil discipline in the men and shouts at them
and who is quite frankly a nasty man is an ignorant army barmy bully who just doesn t understand about the conflict.

OR he’s a spy for the enemy. Enemy at the Gates lands on the double-points-score square for this one.

This is only for generals. Lower ranking British officers are some of the most badass guys ever.

Also, if you see a soldier walking down the street playing a bagpipe during a pitched battle for an occupied town at an important crossroads… he is bulletproof. It would seem that bagpipe music is so horrid, even bullets won’t go near it.

I was being mildly sarcastic. My point was that the total percentage of members of the military actually involved in combat is pretty small in modern militaries; the odds are a soldier is far more likely to spend most of the war doing anything but actually fighting. Yet the only veterans who appear in fiction are traumatized from all the heavy combat they engaged in.

Y’know that village that looks utterly peaceful and tranquil after slogging through war-torn terrain for miles? It’s full of enemy soldiers, hidden tanks and so forth.

Because the story of how the 479th Combat Logistics Battalion spent it’s tour organizing MREs does not make for compelling war drama.

And since their job was just as, if not more, important to the success of the military campaign as one platoon’s brief experience in combat, perhaps the “dramatic” depiction of war is not too accurate, eh?

Heh, you know, that could make for an interesting enough movie, if done right. You can get the same kind of workplace drama you get anywhere else, but with the presence of firearms and the absence of air conditioning.

In a lot of small German towns there is a bank with millions of dollars in gold bullion in it that the retreating Germans just forgot about.

The advancing American patrol will team up with the Nazi tank commander who will blow the door off the bank.

Everybody shares the loot and they all go off happy ever after…nobody gets killed or injured

Up until at least the Korean war (discounting the nations who happily marched their men through minefields etc.ie.Russia and Japan)more soldiers died and were invalided out the fighting due to poor hygiene and disease then all of those out of combat Cite The British Army Regimental Hygiene and Mosquito control course .

(Yes I know !Was caught loafing in the wrong place at the wrong time and got volunteered)

So that makes that even more important but given the choice of a shitkicker about the Platoon or a movie about malaria prevention I think I ll go for the shitkicker shallow cunt that I am.

Obviously it was a fight against ourselves but mostly it was a voyage of self discovery the combat was only a means to that end and who knows ?one day when the human race has grown out of war…

Regardless, tonight’s big winner at cards or dice will be dead tomorrow. Especially if he said he needed the money to marry his best girl and buy a house somewhere when the war’s over.

That was a comedy, so it gets a pass.

There’s always somebody playing “Ride of the Valkyries” on the radio. Eventually there will be a Civil War movie with a kid following the Union troops, cranking Wagner on a victrola as they assault the Rebs.

Yes the film was a comedy but you must have heard all about the Nazi gold that went “missing” never to be seen again.

I’ll bet Clint and his cronies got it :stuck_out_tongue:

In An American Civil War film the white kid allus meets the black kid he was a buddy with back on the plantation, they are usually on opposing sides but end up still buddies

And Donald Sutherland invented hippies in 1945, and was rewarded with a tank command.

The proper way for a figher pilot to relieve stress during combat is to remove his oxygen mask and take a deep breath. It does not matter what the air pressure or temperture is, you dont need that mask.

If you are a gunner on a bomber you may remove your gloves any time and handle bare metal. No risk of frostbite here.

Someone will win the poker game by beating four of kind with a royal flush; but just as he tries to collect his winnings the air raid siren will go off or shells will start falling, and the pot will vanish in the scramble.

No argument, but Letters from Iwo Jima certainly deserved a nomination last year and IMHO got screwed.

While you are on a bombing raid you can guarantee that your dog will get run over

Sailors on leave burst into musical numbers.
The Bronx is up and the Battery’s down.