Things Moclans tell their children

As the thread “Things Klingons tell their children”.

“Remember, if you do not eat, you will die.”

“Quickly, run and bring me the scissors!”

“You may not see the girl next door!”

“Knock, knock”
“Who is there?”
“Ice cream”
“Ice cream is an inanimate object which is not capable of knocking on a door. Return to your studies and pay special attention to the difference between inanimate and animate objects.”

“You are too young to be dating and losing teeth!”

Yes, I have often thought of killing your father.

I am not turning the shuttle around. You urinated just a couple months ago. Hold it.

Do not be foolish. You are male. She is female. You clearly have nothing in common.

Females are always dumber and weaker than you. That is just the way the Universe is.

Once you are married, always keep a long, sharp knife nearby in case of divorce.

All inferior races lack the beautiful skinfolds we have.

Tobacco is an amazing substance, but you must never, ever smoke it.

Contractions are sinful.

Always keep the same tone of voice, even when you are shouting. It helps if you always project your voice, no matter the circumstances.

Do not think of females when you stimulate yourself. Your palms will become hirsute.

Your only emotion should be stern countenance. Otherwise, you will be mistaken for female.

“Every Moclan must someday Moclan his Moclan in Moclan. You must be Moclan that you don’t Moclan the Moclan.”

(Oh, wait–I’m thinking of Marklar.)

You thrown that ball like a female!

Hmm…I thought that was Smurf

This thread feels…racisty.

nah its just jokes about the tv show *the orville *

There is no “I” in “team” because its inclusion would be linguistically and phonetically inconsistent.

Moclans aren’t real, faulk.

Remember, Son, that nothing will increase your chances of finding a mate more than a well groomed mustache.

For more: Moclan | The Orville Wiki | Fandom

Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m giggling and not outraged.

what is ‘giggling’ ?