I am utterly lost without structure. I know plenty of people who really struggled after retirement because of similar issues. It has nothing to do with a lack of passion, just a natural tendency toward inertia. It’s especially tough if you are very introverted, and extremely difficult if you get easily depressed.
Also, some of us are actually working our passions, and feel useless when we’re not contributing to society in that specific way. I’ve had two long periods of unemployment as well as the challenge of working from home for 6 months following a seizure cluster. I am happiest when I am busy and when there are people telling me what to do and when I have concrete evidence that I am contributing something good in the world (in the case of my job, it’s dollars raised for my org… it means something to me to see that number grow.) For some of us, it’s fucking hard not to have an imposed structure on our lives.
I dunno, does the existence of love in the world offset the existence of hate? Or is it maybe that everyone’s experiences are equally valid in this regard? Marriage is one of those things that is mind-blowingly awesome when it works, and fuckin’ balls when it doesn’t.
[QUOTE=Shoeless]
Owning your own business. A lot of people dream of quitting their crappy job and starting their own business (myself included) but you may wind up putting in twice the hours that you did at the old job, for far less money. Not to mention the toll it takes on your family.
[/QUOTE]
My parents owned their own small business when I was growing up. After watching ten years of them pitching constantly between poverty and middle class, witnessing the nights they just rolled out the sleeping bags and slept on the office floor, the fact that every waking moment of their lives was consumed by work, even when they weren’t working… and the fact that when I was still a minor, they just finally moved out of our house and had me live on my own so they could be closer to work… the only thing I really got out of that is that I didn’t want to own my own business.
A lot of people think they “want to travel a lot for work”. Few actually like living out of a hotel for long stretches in a city where they don’t know anyone, having to deal with airport bullshit every week.
Not to mention the impact on your family. This happened to my best friend. His wife is an engineer, and though they had a permanent home, they travelled constantly. He had no ability to maintain a stable job when he was following her around, and basically just slept in hotels working on his art. Then when they had their first kid he basically had to watch the kid all day, in hotels and their van. He became completely socially isolated and the ultimate results were not good.
Or will be partially thrown clear of the car. I used to wonder how so many bodies managed to be thrown clear of the car cleanly (only of course to usually then get hurt from the ground or another car,) until I realized that often they aren’t thrown cleanly.
Have you ever done it? Trust me the boredom sets in after a few months. But, working 40 hours would be crazy. I’d do a little consulting, some volunteer work, just enough to flavor my leisure activities.
I was one of those persons who was not wearing a seatbelt at the time of an accident and was thrown from the car. Although I remember very little of the actual experience, I am told that I shot through the back window, incurring numerous cuts and slashes from the broken gas, hit the pavement, hard, breaking my pelvis and right leg in a compound fracture. I was unconscious and bleeding. Luckily for me, the first car who came upon the accident was driven by a medical student on his way to a shift at the University hospital. He did his best to contain the bleeding and got help quickly.
I had numerous surgeries and was out of commission for about 9 months. I still have some, thankfully small, scars from the glass injuries, and arthritis in many of the damaged joints now that I am 60.
So while I am still alive, and the two others involved in the accident are not, be very careful when wishing to be thrown from the car at the time of an accident. Humans don’t bounce well.
I sometimes get up early to work on projects (hobbies mainly, but did some during home improvement), then drone my way through work just to get home to work on stuff I want to work on. My job affords little opportunity to travel more than an occasional long weekend.
So yeah, if I could get the paycheck and not have to spend the better part of the day doing stuff I’d rather not, I’d be down with that.
I’m going to clarify that I’m objecting to the ‘probably wouldn’t like’ part of it. I have no doubt that there are people who just like the structure of going to a job, but I don’t believe that the majority of people would dislike having no job if they could get the same financial security without one, which is what the ‘probably wouldn’t actually like’ implies.
Part of what makes the whole idea hurt my brain is that I’m very introverted, have dealt with clinical depression for my entire adult life, and have a strong tendency towards inertia. And absolutely love the idea that I wouldn’t have to show up to a job and put on a happy face if I felt like hiding out for a day, and wouldn’t have to worry about meeting a deadline while not able to focus temporarily.
But how many people’s passion is working as a Wal-Mart greeter? That’s the typical path in the ‘found out they hate retirement’ idea and what’s alluded to by Gatopescado’s “Pretty soon they dream about a WalMart employment fair,” but I can’t see that being a passion or feeling like a serious contribution to society. And ‘wanting to contribute to society’ is really a different motivation to get a job than simple ‘boredom’, which I think was the part that really confuses both of us.
I have, it just taste like shrimp shells filled with goo rather than meat, and whatever spices they used. And it was a lot of spices.
And it might be authentic Chinese food in some area of China, but you have to go to some pretty far out area to find people who eat it regularly rather than on a dare.
It’s more than just the structure of going to work. For some people, a significant amount of their lifestyle revolves around their career. Not just the salary, but they find value in the work they are doing, the people they associate with, and the prestige.
There’s another thread about lottery winners blowing their earnings. That reminded me of a show I saw about the problems lottery winners faced. One problem is that a lot of them had trouble finding any sort of purpose after winning. It’s kind of like, how many people do you know who say “I could be X if only I didn’t have to go to this stupid job every day”. Well, these lottery winners found that they didn’t have to go to work any more, but they still couldn’t become X.
So how would any of that translate to “Pretty soon they dream about a WalMart employment fair?” That’s the part that’s the sticker for me; not that some people enjoy their work, or the interaction around their work, or the results of their work, but that people are so starved for the ‘work’ thing that they want to go to a mindless job that pays badly, isn’t doing valuable things, and doesn’t have any prestige. And that they’d rather become a WalMart greeter than do volunteer work, or hobbies, or read, or whatever else. It’s a really foreign concept to me.
I think the specific “rather be a Walmart greeter than retired” mindset is mostly limited to people who have little imagination or interests. Given a day off they’ll listslessly flip through the TV. And be unable to think of anything to do except maybe crack a beer at 3pm. If given a few months of days off then soon enough the beer will be at 2pm then eventually 1pm. With the predictable consequences.
It’s also the case that lots of people are underprepared financially for retirement. Something that doesn’t really come home to roost until they’re in it. No matter whether their pre-retirement lifestyle was modest working class or comfy upper-middle class, they find that their new monthly budget only works if they don’t drive anywhere and never buy anything other than groceries.
Feeling trapped at home with an empty wallet can get old quickly. Moreso for the upper-level person who may have always associated entertainment with spending and spending with entertainment. The many low- and no-cost entertainment choices may not occur to those folks or be enough to sustain them versus their expectations.
Something that soaks up 40 hours (plus prep and commute time) and generates a couple hundred a week in “mad money” may be the difference between listlessly sliding into depression / alcoholism and having what feels like, if not retired bliss, at least like the familiar life they’ve known for the previous 40 years.
In my own life I’ve worked jobs like now where I rarely work. And also jobs which were 60 hours/week for *years *on end. After those high-demand jobs ended I discovered that I’d more or less forgotten how to do anything except eat & sleep & work. No idea how to have fun, friends, or leisure. Going to the grocery store was the social and entertainment highlight of my week.
I overcame that forgetting how to be alive and now have a healthy attitude to my current semi-retirement and plenty of activities. Other folks just can’t do that. Or *think *they can’t do that, which is really the same thing.
There are also plenty of married folks who discover they really aren’t cut out to be sitting around the same house together all day every day. But their *modus vivendi * or their budget doesn’t really support separate recreational activities either. As between bickering with a snippy spouse and handing out shopping carts I know which one would keep me away from (justifiable?) homicide.
Bottom line: You’re right that nobody lusts after Walmart greeting. But in a bad situation it may be the least bad alternative. So it’s the one that gets taken. And taken, if not gladly, at least with a sense of relief.
As others have said…
Boat(s)- “Bust Out Another Thousand”. (Huge money drain, unless you’re really, really into them.)
Self-employment- Source of endless stress, as a freelancer you’re largely at others’ beck-and-call.
Any large exotic animals. Most of them are simply not meant for captivity (can be tamed but will not be the loveys that dogs and cats are), their set-ups/food costs are generally outrageous, and the vet bills are astronomical.
Heck, most small exotics, barring bearded dragons (about as close as we’re ever likely to get to a domesticated lizard, methinks) and some fish.
I came to that realization when I lived in Europe. A Russian babushka in a bikini is NOT going to make your day, and a visit to any number of nude parks or beaches will disabuse you about nudity being the best thing ever.
As for the “made in China” thing, I actively try not to buy products made there. It’s pretty much impossible to even make it to 25%, but I do my bit for American workers when I can.
Work vs retirement? Doper, please.
Having kids would be my choice. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood, let alone prepared for it. The warm, fuzzy notion of a cuddly little bundle goes south after about the first week of midnight feedings and poopy diapers, let alone dealing with puberty.
Oh, and the notion of retiring, buying a huge motorhome and living on the road to ‘see America’. After about six months, you’ll likely be selling the damn thing and looking for a home. That’s why RV lots are chockablock with used buses. Either America turns out to be rather disappointing, or you can’t stand to be in a smallish space with your loving spouse.
Admittedly, no I have never been retired, but I do have a very long list of projects that are waiting to be put into action if I ever get financially well off to be set for life.
…I have this tendency to not only count my chickens before they are hatched, but to count the chicks before the original egg-laying hens are even acquired.
Yeah. It’s mindless. You come in, say hello to some people. Maybe get lunch with your coworkers. Sure, there’s no prestige. But there’s also no pressure of losing a big deal or anything either.
I wouldn’t be so hard on those people. What do people actually “do” that’s so creative if they didn’t have to go to work everyday? Read? Cook? Fill their time with a bunch of hobbies? Sign up for a dozen ZogSports leagues? Find a cure for cancer?
Like what is Michael Phelps going to do as a retired 31 year old “Greatest Olympian of All Time”? I know he’ll probably coach swimming and stay involved in the sport. But how does he fill his days with something that replaces time commitment and intensity of Olympic training?
I was in one. My only complaint is that it ended too soon.
RE Authentic Chinese Food
I know that say Panda Express is about as far from authentic as Taco Bell is from Mexican food. A little looking will get you closer. Except for food barred by law (horse, and I imagine scorpion) most of the restaurants in Philly’s Chinatown are authentic. For example, last time was there one place was serving spiced pig’s blood.
I thought that was a joke when I saw it posted on Facebook. After looking at the pictures offered by that link, I gotta say… Ew! Boobs come in a lot of sizes and shapes … and most of them appear to be real ugly. I appreciate my boobs a lot more, now.
5 Things You Think Will Make You Happy (But Won’t)
By Jane Jones, David Wong | February 17, 2009 | 2,986,681 views