What are the top 5 things that go bump in the night?
Me, when I trip over a cat on my way to the bathroom.
David Hasslehoff, while looking for his 99cent Wendy’s bacon cheeseburger and his half-gallon jug of Popov (100 proof)
My neighbor, when he drove his car into our house after celebrating Mardi Gras.
This is more of a poll than a GQ. Off to IMHO.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
A Doper awake during the wee hours posting a one-word message just to keep a thread on the front page of a forum.
Ghosties looking for their Post Toasties.
- My first cat
- My second cat
- My third cat
- Somebody tripping over #1, 2, or 3
- Some idiot driver, speeding in a 25 mph zone, not realizing the intersecting street ends at our front yard, and crashing through the hedges.
“uglies”
One of these, who is angry.
Thank you! That was great. 
Dumbass inconsiderate punk kids with their rap music, thump thump thump. Get off not only my lawn, but my street and my neighborhood as well.
I’m glad it was good for you too.
In my house, the heat going off at 9 causes the inside to contract, which makes some serious “cracks.”
The weird thing, though, is the change in temperature, either when the heat comes on or goes off, cause my clothes dresser to CRACK. It’s unreal. You’d swear an eight inch midget was stuck in a drawer wanting out.
I have outdoor lighting on my back patio and back yard, both set on motion detectors. They obviously don’t go bump, but all night long animals set them off (mostly cats, but the occasional possum, raccon, and/or rat will set them off, and so can the wind).
I have a few mystery noises I still haven’t identified. They don’t scare me as much as when I was six, but I still don’t get out of bed to investigate.
The pipes under the house, when someone flushes a toilet. (Hence: if it’s yellow let it mellow.)
The wind blowing through the attic. The way the vents are designed, wind blowing above about 10 mph will cause the air pressure in the attic to change enough to make stuff creak. It sounds like a cat at a scratch post.
My cats, playing with the cabinet doors.
Deer bumping the house as they move from the woods behind the house to the woods in front. Actually it is more of a rubbing sound on the siding.
Poltergeists. I’m just saying what none of you want to admit!
My upstairs neighbor.
Sorry, misread the title. I thought it was Things that go bump bump bump CRASH clatter clatter bump hammer hammer BOOM in the night.