There was a very long thread on this subject. The people who HATED those who made them wait were so furious and adamant, that the feeble voices like my own, trying to get them to understand that not everyone can plan very well no matter how hard they may try, were lost in the firestorm.
Some people are just really really shitty about figuring out how to get somewhere on time. It does not usually mean that they don’t respect the value of your time, or deliberately want to anger you. My whole family has ADD except me. I have over the decades learned to give them prompts, try to help them stay focused about getting out the door, and cultivate a relaxed view about being anywhere on time that isn’t a theater, a doctor’s appointment, or a dinner date. I used to just stand in the middle of a room and scream as loud as I could, so I’ve improved. My husband used to think that it was time to take a shower, shave, dress, and make a cup of coffee for the road, when it was time to leave. He’s improved too, but I always figure that when he tells me something will take ten minutes to finish, it’s always 30. Always.
I’m not going to get into a whole thing, and of course, I know nothing about your family - but late people who get outraged when someone else is even later don’t just have a problem figuring out how to get somewhere on time.
I do have ADHD which means I’m not the best at this sometimes, but if it’s an actual standing appointment I just leave early.
There are some things that infuriate me while they’re happening but my anger instantly vanishes when I see the person. Or when my husband gets home late, it’s not like I bawl him out, because there’s nothing to be angry about anymore.
Last month I took my motorhome in to have the oil changed. I’d made an appointment a couple of weeks beforehand, I hadn’t just walked in off the street. I’d planned to drop it off, take Uber home, and come back when it was all done. But the guy said “are you sure? It’ll only be an hour or so.”
I hesitated, because I have been burned by this soooooo many times. 95% of the time, with anything auto-related, the amount of time the procedure actually takes is two, or three, four, or even more times as long as the estimate. Idiot that I am, I decided to wait. And sure enough, I sat there for two and a half hours. I couldn’t decide who I was more pissed at: them for lying, or myself for falling for it.
Why can’t auto places just tell the damn truth about how long something is going to take? Or at least factor in “something came up” and make their estimates overly long? What do they think they’re gaining by lying about how long something will take, and pissing off their customers?
Oh god yes. I was taking my Toyota to the dealership where I bought it. About 2 hours away from home. That’s the closest one to me. I always make early appointments. One time I just wanted the oil changed and the back up camera fixed (or at least troubleshot. It did not work at all). Because of the camera, they said they needed it for 4 hours. They kept calling me saying it needed some other stuff too. I agreed to everything.
They then said they need it all day. Well this is problematic as I’m two hours away from home. No loaner cars. And if it didn’t get done, they would need it longer. Well the next day was Sunday and they where closed. So three days total. After their 4 hours where up, I asked again about it. All they had gotten done was to rotate the tires.
Give me my car NOW. I’ll never darken their doorway again.
Chronic lateness runs rampant in my wife’s family. Nobody can ever be on time. So I’ve just started building in a half-hour buffer, assuming people will be late.
However, this came back to bite me in the ass on Mother’s Day. We were having the kids and grandkids over for dinner. My wife told everyone to be there at 4, so I planned on having dinner ready at 4:30. My stepdaughter, who is never on time*, showed up with her kids on the dot at 4 wondering when we were going to eat, because her daughter needed to be back at work at 5.
* She once showed up for Thanksgiving dinner not only half an hour late, but didn’t even have her designated side dish ready. So we had to wait another hour while she prepared and baked it at our house.
My Sister-in-Law (wifes brothers wife) always makes her family late. I think this is why my BIL drives like a bat out of hell.
Anyway, my FIL died, and all his kids said a little eulogy. My wife wanted to state how her dad taught her to always be on time, or you are saying that your time is more important than others time. She wanted to stress that. SIL was going to be there . I knew that would sound very hurtful. I convinced her not to put it in there
SIL was, of course, late to the funeral (I knew that was going to happen).
Books and magazines kept in the bathroom long predate cellphones.
– Some people’s bowels genuinely don’t follow schedules. If that happened nearly every time you were trying to go somewhere, though, I can understand your annoyance. Try telling them you need to leave 20 minutes sooner than you do, maybe?
With this particular friend (and one other who waa always late for different reasons - clothing crisis, especially) we just arranged times differently.
I’'ll be expecting to meet up at, say, 19:30.
The other two would be told 19:00, so they can get their blasted clothing and their crapper time before it inconviniences anyone else.
My mother died 2 1/2 years ago. We sold her house. So I had a very large boost to my ‘income’. Since I did not predict this on my previous years taxes, and pre-pay, I got fined.
Hey. She’s dead. Get It? I did make a ‘profit’. Oh and they tried to fine both myself and my wife. We file jointly.
So, since I did not predict the year of my mothers death, I got fined $148 (they tried to fine each my wife and I $148).
I paid the capital gains. I expected that.
You fined me because I could not predict the year of my mothers death. Fuckers.
Making up the years, I think you are misunderstanding what happened. You had the big boost in income when the house was sold in say, 2023 and had to pay the penalty in 2024 when you filed your 2023 taxes. But you didn’t have to predict anything on the 2022 taxes you filed in 2023 to avoid the penalty - you needed to pay estimated taxes in 2023 to avoid the penalty but you could have done that as soon as the house was sold in 2023. And it has nothing to do with when you inherited the house - the same thing would have happened if your mother passed away and you inherited the house in 1999 and you sold it in 2023.
I’m infuriated by the fact that everyone in the US calls it a car (or truck or SUV, but you get my drift), while three industries - banking, insurance and repair - insist on calling it an auto. I bought my car at a used car dealer, but I had to get an auto loan to buy it and prove to the dealer that I had auto insurance before he let me drive it off the lot. And there’s a rock chip in the windshield so now I’ll have to take it to the auto glass repair place. But yet at no point in American history has a teenager asked her father if she can borrow the auto, nor has any father ever told his teen daughter that she can borrow the auto as long as she takes it through the auto wash.
Why these three industries insist on using archaic terminology I’ll never understand.
I never thought “auto” was any more archaic than “car”; they’re just alternative terms for the same thing, like “film” vs. “movie.” It’s not like they’re calling it a “horseless carriage.”
. I knew that would sound very hurtful. I convinced her not to put it in there 