Anything that says “up to” followed by a percentage. “Up to 75% of people taking this medication received the desired results!” Yeah, right.
Any thing that confuses correlation with causation." Hey, homosexuality has gone way up since abortion was made legal. Abortion causes people to be gay."
This, in non-serious discourse – so, not in the spirit of most of the thread; but, “I resemble that remark”. In my opinion, the most feeble and pointless bit of wordplay in the entire history of the English language.
Going to work threw them, are you? 
Anything Kardashian related
There are some things a person just does not say. That is one of them. I would never make that claim, because I know I have issues, but I do my best to show people a fair perspective. It is like “I am so much smarter than you.” No, you do not say that, because it literally means “I am a fucking idiot.” You show people your positive traits, because declarations are meaningless/contrary.
Headlines that are actually questions.
I get that some headlines are actually questions, like:
Will People Populate Mars In This Century?
Do Four Out of Five Dentists Actually Agree?
Is That Really the Presidents Hair?
But I’ll pass on every phoney, inconclusive article that adds a question mark at the end.
Signs Of Life Found On Mars?
Bigfoot Spotted At Kids Playground?
Donald Trump Killed In Car Crash?
You know there are garbage articles hiding in the shadows of those kinds of headlines.
Other articles I skip, are ones that start with, or contain the words, “Breaks Their Silence!”
I keep scrolling and don’t look back.
“Utilize” instead of “use”
“Myself” instead of “me”
“[Person] and I” when they are the object instead of the subject
I am not sure what “Shibboleth” means, but I think he is the lead singer for Dimmu Borgir.
Some years ago I began reading a book about the Boer War and events leading up to it. I couldn’t get thru the first chapter - the author (and by inference, his editor) kept misusing “retrospective” in place of “retroactive”. This was done three or four times, until I threw the book down. (It was a library book so I didn’t actually throw it down, just put it down rather firmly.)
I found it really hard to believe that any author (or editor) would make such an obvious mistake.
Any reference to “polls”. Every single one of them is rigged… whether that be in favor of a position I support, or against.
You scoff, but studies show that almost no aborted babies have grown up to be straight.
100% of people born with legs die. Therefore…
Uh what? Rigged or not, the polls usually predict the election outcome fairly accurately.
Starting by misstating some other position, either as a deliberate straw man or because the author didn’t bother to do any research.
Eg I watched a video on an alternative hypothesis to dark matter, which I was looking forward to hearing about. But it began by saying dark matter is just a fudge and cosmologists subscribe to it out of groupthink.
So I can already guess his alternative is not going to be very rigorous/objective before he’s even started talking about it.
“Speaking as a Juggalo* …”
Especially when the phrase “or more” is added:
“Up to 75% or more!”
Luckily, ads are short.
Yeah, gotta admit that never was funny to me either. Wasn’t it a Groucho Marx line? That might explain it. “An accepted wit has but to say ‘Pass the mustard’ and they burst their ribs with laughter”
OPs that start with, “So…”
Also, OPs that post “title says it all.”
Agreed. Same thing with ‘political correctness’.
“by Dan Brown”