Things that make you immediately stop reading something

Mention of anything “being forced down our throats.”

In the context of the linked-to J.L. Horowitz film clip – even I felt that to be funny (a little): said by a clearly unsophisticated, vocabularily-challenged guy. It’s just that I’ve heard it ad nauseam from would-be-comedian parrots, I mean folk who mistake coming out with silly, flogged-to-death catchphrases; for wit on their part.

It’s a pet peeve of mine, that to be funny, puns need to be “about” something – just meaningless playing with words, I find feeble and pointless. A one-time associate of mine – a great devotee of the “resemble” nonsense – was also fond of talking about “getting a potato clock” (getting up at 8 o’clock), in no context whatever. He thought that side-splitting; I didn’t.

“Red pill”.

Right, basing your life philosophy on a thing from a 20 year old SF film is going to be really persuasive, kid.

“Game changer”.

“Wake up people!!!”

( Exhortation by one tilting at this or that windmill )

Actually I kinda like “getting a potato clock”–the words are similar enough in sound to make it work for me, and the image of a potato clock is absurd enough to make it work as well. I can imagine it gets really tiresome after the eighth repetition, though.

In contrast, “resemble” doesn’t closely resemble “resent,” and the image of resembling a remark is too much of a stretch for my brain to find it funny. Oh well. Humor–can’t live without it, can’t explain it.

Anyone who says “men” means “men and women.” Not in my world.

There is a perfectly good word that includes both genders. Use it, people.

“Motherfuckers?”

Damn! I better start keeping a list. I’m liable to forget something.

Like writing “damn!”

Potato Clocks. You really can get these:

https://science.howstuffworks.com/innovation/scientific-experiments/how-to-make-a-potato-clock.htm

Edited to add – I really had heard of Potato Clocks before this. What I hadn’t heard was the pun “getting a potato clock” = “getting up at eight o’clock”

Yes, people who have or have had multiple partners, and wish to distinguish the biological father or mother of the child from the current attachment. I have heard it used seriously.

I opened this thread to post just that.

Any prose or writing that is meant to sound authoritative but is simply flat-out nonsense. I once read a book in which the author claimed - with utter seriousness - that Taiwan was creating a danger for itself by buying 200-some airplanes because those airplanes run a risk of colliding in Taiwan’s small space. Bear in mind, the volume of airspace above Taiwan is over 130,000 cubic miles, and any nation with major airports and air travel already has hundreds of airplanes criss-crossing its airspace on any given day. I shut the book right then and there.

I recall from a book (read many years ago) of reminiscences by a British airman, of his World War II experiences: the remark that essentially, the air is – when you’re up in it – mostly a hugely and impressively empty place; even with high incidences of ill-disposed persons greatly wishful of functioning in it, in one way or another, with a view to ruining your day.

Just added one today. People who use “veggie” are inevitably tiresome idiots and the term is a red flag to stop reading immediately.

It’s even worse than you realize.

Some people on message boards spell “veggies” as “vegees”.

The Crisis Continues.

My favorite thing about this is they’re somehow warping a film made by two trans women into their misogynistic ideology signifier. A scene that has been read convincingly multiple times as a metaphor for HRT and awakening to your gender identity.

Apparently, hitting the bottom of the page and seeing that there’s more than one does… I was reading the first page of this thread, scrolled down, and basically reflexively closed the window. There’s apparently some kind of investment-to-interest ratio that has to be met for me to continue reading something.

Yeah, this and other things like it. Using obscure jargon without explaining it to signal that you’re in with the cool kids. Untranslated quotes in a different language than the article itself (bonus points if it’s in Latin). Impress me with your smarts via the article’s content, not via demonstrating your mastery of googling foreign quotes.

Oh, and this, too, massively. “Only 10% will share/like/comment”—show me the research you did to come up with those numbers.

How about appealing to quantum mechanics to explain epigenetics?

Another. Especially on any kind of social media, the use of “Funny, that.” Or “Funny that.” Especially when used by North American asshats who never, ever use similar constructions in their posts.