Never been to a fancy dress party as a used tampon
Never been a guest voice on “The Simpsons”
Never bought me a pint
Never pretended to be a sanitary towel with wings (well he’s got the ears for it)
Been a drummer in a UK Heavy Metal Bank.
Spontaniously combusted.
Died in a bizaar gardening accident.
Would that be one that dealt exclusively in gold and lead?
Hey, he’s never bought me one either! That bastard!
Which is why those tight fisted assholes don’t carry money