Things that purplex you

I’ve been in several doctor’s and dentist’s offices over the past few years in which pictures of the doc’s expensive private plane or racing car are displayed for the entertainment of the patients. It’s as if the doctor’s saying, “Look at what I’ve bought with the money I made off your illness”. I’m not sure why they’d want to rub it in our noses like that.

Last week I bought a bag of potato chips. They weren’t bad, but what really sold me was that on the bag it said, “20% more chips than the leading brand!” I can understand the exclamation point, that got me excited too. But then I thought, if they always give you 20% more chips for the same money, why aren’t they the leading brand?

Yes, I know there are perfectly boring explanations for the above. I don’t care. What I want to hear is what purplexes you, and why. Cheers.

This post has been purplexed by the PURPLEXOR!

Heh, I can honestly say I didn’t see that coming, which I guess means I’m indeed purplexed.

I believe Ogre was playing on the more orthodox spelling of perplex.

Well, obviously the correct spelling of words I don’t use very often perplexes me too.

What do you call the sound a squeezy ketchup bottle makes when it farts. It’s not a fart, because it’s not alive. But, then what is it? That purplexes me lately.

The Joker
The People Eater
Budget Purpluses
The Pluperfect

A raspberry.


I call it a sploot.

“It wasn’t me! The ketchup splooted!”

“Our chips suck, but we give you 20% more!”

Everyone is always comparing themselves to the leading brand.

I should just go for the leading brand.

“The food here is terrible.”
“Yes. And in such small portions.”

To get back to the OP.

My 3 year old daughter is currently fascinated with the story of Little Red Riding Hood. She is equally scared by and interested in the Big Bad Wolf. After telling this story to her nearly a hundred times, I became perplexed, as to if the wolf’s main objective is to eat Little Red Riding Hood, why doesn’t he just do it when he comes across her in the woods? Why does he run off to grandmother’s house and wait for her there. Sure there’s the added benefit of getting to eat grandmother, but he could have done that after finishing off Red on the trail in the forest.

The wolf is obviously a sociopathic serial killer, getting his kicks from the fear and suspense of taunting Lil Red. Grandma is just the Hors Doover! (yeh, I know, but that’s the way I pronounce it!)

later, Tom.

Because in the open woods she could have escaped. At Grandma’s house she was trapped in the cottage, and got very close to him additionally. In the woods she probably wouldn’t come within twenty feet of him.

For real? :eek: That’s just rude.

I was wondering why you’re always carrying around a bottle of ketchup. Guess it’s easier than dragging the dog everywhere.

:slight_smile: I might have to make a sock!

Just kidding, mods. I have no socks. It’s true! Go run an IP check. This post does not endorse the making of sock puppets, nor does it reflect the views of this poster, his family, friends, casual acquaintances, or pets. Some restrictions apply. Batteries not included. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. User beware. Side effects include nausea, weight gain, temporal lobe dama…wait, I forgot what I was talking about, sleep apnea, rectal prolapse, testicular degeneration, suicidal thoughts, sex addiction, hemorrhoids, and ankle pain. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

I’m purplexed by a mother that would send her young daughter walking through the woods in which lives a bloodthirsty wolf, and of which the mother is aware.

“OK, honey, somewhere between our house and Grandma’s house is a wolf, which will kill you and eat you if he sees you. I want you to try to bring Grandma this basket of food, and make it there and back without him seeing you. Good luck!”