Things to do on jury duty

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I have jury duty the week of 11/17. I have served twice before and know how boring it can get. I need suggestions on ways to amuse myself when things get a little slow. I’ve thought of a couple of things.

During the selection process:
-Frequently wink while emphasizing variations of the word “fry” when answering attorney questions - “I don’t watch much t.v. since mine got FRIED” :wink:, “My favorite restaurant is Kentucky FRIED :wink: Chicken”, “I’ve wanted to be on a jury since I was a small FRY”:wink, wink:, etc.
-Take a stack of books with titles like “The Amazing Power of Electricity” and “An Illustrated Compilation of Electrocutions”

If selected for a trial:
-Occasionally, while making eye contact with the defendant, shudder violently and say “Bzzzt! Bzzzt!”. Criminal or civil case makes no difference.
-During testimony write furiously on a notepad, occasionally interupting to ask the judge how to spell a word that has nothing to do with the trial.

I won’t do these things of course, but I will think them. Help me pass the time.

2

Everytime the prosecutor approaches the jury, glare at him with unadulderated hate. Giggle quietly, too.

When defense approaches jury, smile warmly with eyes glowing with love.

During restroom breaks, scream in pain as you urinate. Worries the other jurors.

3

Talk like Pauly Shore.

Look like Pauly Shore.

Be annoying like Pauly Shore.

Descend into deserving obscurity like Pauly Shore.

Cite.

4

Then, every other day, reverse the roles.

5

Ooooh! I like the “googly eyes/evil eyes” approach. I’m hoping not to get on a multi-day trial so I may try alternating every hour. That’ll confuse 'em!

Any more?

6

Just tell 'em you’re an engineer, scientist, or other profession that requires intelligence and objective evaluation of facts and evidence.

You’ll be among the first ones dismissed.

Unless, of course, this is the second or subsequent trial on the same charges, and earlier juries reached no consensus. Then the attorneys will look for more intelligent jurors.

7

When I lived in Britain, I longed to be called for jury duty so I could ask the judge if I might try on his powdered wig.

Of course, I was 13 at the time.

I suggest bringing a monopoly set in and trying to convince the other jurors to play with you during the trial.

8

*Insist *on sequestration and further insist you get to share a room with the hot young blond in the tight red dress. If they give you that, next demand unlimited room service. If they give you that, deadlock the precedings for as long as possible!

She told me she loved me like a brother. She was from Arkansas, hence the Joy!

9

The engineer thing doesn’t work anymore. I have been selected as a jury member twice and my husband once (the only time he was called for jury duty). We both came away with a new appreciation of the process and an even bigger appreciation of the judges. I felt justice was served in both the trials I was associated with (defendent acquited in one, found for the defendant in the other, a civil case). Husband felt the same way about his case. I encourage all intelligent people to do the jury duty thing. If you weasel out of it you’re screwing our system.

I was picked even though I was reading a funny book and giggling during the selection process.

10

The one time I had jury duty one of the jurors was excused because he continually picked his nose. Offers of tissues were refused and after 45 minutes the judge stopped the proceeding and called the attorneys to the bench. 10 seconds of whispering and a finger pointing by the judge at Mr. Picky and he was excused. There were no backup jurors so the decision was left to 5 of us.

11

Tourette’s Syndrome.

'Nuff said?

12

I heard a jury is usually made up of people who either don’t have anything better to do or too dumb to get out of it.

13

Wear a “Justice League” shirt.

14

Not much you can or should do other than pay attention and apply yourself to the case being tried.

But you could have had all sorts of fun during the jury selection process.

15

In the middle of the trial, walk casually up to the bench and demand that the judge give you a raise. “Or I’ll walk!”

16

Dude, just do your duty and serve if you are able. Try to be the kind of juror you would want if you knew you had to be on trial, but didn’t know which side you would be on. i.e. be fair and objective and pay attention. You may very well have someone’s life and complete future in your hands, take it seriously.

17

Contact the lawyers for both sides and tell them your vote is for sale.

18

Bring one of those little portable chess sets. Bug the jurors next to you for a game. Loudly proclaim that they’re afraid of your “mad chess skills.”

Bring a picnic lunch.

19

What you dare not do is bring a notebook or diary into the courtroom while waiting to be called. It will be taken from you and you will have to figure out where it’s at at the end of the day.

20

Okay, do we have any trial lawyers here on the Dope tonight ?

I have a jury duty summons on 11/24.

I’ve served once before, and two things really took me aback.

  1. The judge said we jurors could not take notes. Huh ? Really ? I realize that he doesn’t want us to be frantically scribbling while we should be listening, but the attorneys knew that we couldn’t follow some of the math and the plaintiff tried to pull a fast one… "1900 in medical, plus future economic loss times (mumble, turn over paper on easel) equals 85,000 dollars !)

Can the judge really insist that I cannot take notes during the trial ? Must he provide a transcript if the jury insists ? (I was the foreman, but didn’t have any guidance on that).

  1. There were a whole stack of medical bills entered into evidence (can you tell this was a car accident?). But when I wanted to see them to check against the above mentioned ledgerdemain, the judge said they weren’t evidence and I couldn’t see them. Huh ?

The best thing I brought to jury selection was a durable paperback. I also watched “Twelve Angry Men” twice (the original and the remake) before the trial !

I guess that a judge makes the rules in his courtroom, and that they vary by state, but I’m always interested to hear about what my powers are as a juror (especially as foreman).

And thanks, Doctor Jackson, for serving. I know I wouldn’t want my fate or fortune decided by folks “too dumb to get out of jury duty”. I think “civic responsibility” has gone way up in the past couple of years, especially when we see that Voting isn’t that effective in our world.