Tonight, Mudgirl, who is six, was sitting in the living room, having just finished her snack. She had her cup of milk in front of her, and I heard some splashing from in there. I looked in, and there she was, playing in her milk. Did I mention she’s six? She’ll be seven in December. So I uttered those dreaded words of parents everywhere (well, at least everywhere that they speak English) “You know better!”
But then I got thinking about the time I was, oh, seven or eight, and we were eating dinner. This was way back, when the ketchup was in a glass bottle. The ketchup had made it’s way around the table, and I picked it up off the table, and licked the collar of the bottle clean!! Leaving my mother to look at me sternly and say “You know better!”
So, 'fess up Dopers! What did you do well after you were, indeed, old enough to know better?
My Wife got her SUV stuck coming up the driveway Sunday afternoon (snow). It would have been just fine where it was, and she could have got to work no problem today. All she would have had to do was walk down the drive to it and go.
Ummm. Nope. I knew all was OK and that freezing temps overnight would improve the situation. But I had to try to get it out. It’s in my blood or something.
Ended up sticking her SUV real good trying to get it out. Mine too. Made the situation much worse. Had too get our plow truck running to get it all straightened out.
When I was six I peed down the heat vent. The whole house smelled terrible every time the furnace came on for weeks… Hehehe, I’ve still never officially 'fessed up to that one.
Oh and norinew, I’m 27 and I still blow bubbles in my chocolate milk. It’s what chocolate milk is for!
Had a barbeque, a bonfire and a few friends over last Summer. Remembered a gross of bottle rockets left over from the 4th. Played chicken with my friends Roach and Amos by tossing the bottle rockets into the fire one at a time.
I’m very careful to tell my kids that licking the bowl is NOT proper behavior and then go out of my way to demonstrate exactly what it is that I don’t want them to do.
My wife yells at me every time I do this.
I wish you’d tell me just what you were thinking when you decided to do this. That way, I might be able to understand why my six year old son did the same thing. The main difference being that it was during the summer, so no heat to cook the pee. Oh, and I did find out about it right away (hard to hide the pee puddles around the vent) and was able to clean it up pretty quickly. But I still can’t help wondering what in the hell got into that boy!
There wasn’t a reason other than “Hey, I’ve got this neat little weiner thing that I can aim when I pee… I wonder if I can aim it down there from over here…?”
Have to disagree. What chocolate milk is for, is: you put the milk in the cup, add several spoonsful of Nesquik powder, and eat the tasty chocolate clumps that float to the top. That is what chocolate milk is for. However, after the tasty clumps are gone, if you feel like blowing bubbles in it, fine. As long as you’re not *my * kid.
My nephew, in a half-asleep state, peed on his mother’s hot rollers, which were on the back of the toilet tank. The next morning, when she plugged them in so she could fix her hair, well, you know what happened. :eek:
These stories are making me laugh, mostly because I’m not your mother!
I’ve done a heap of things, but I think my husband’s most intrigues me. He told me not to leave the dust mop by the toilet. (We have a second toilet and it sort of doubles and a broom closet, since I don’t have one of those - dust mop, regular mop and bucket all live in there.)
Anyway, I kept pestering him, and he muttered something about that our 11 year old might pee on it. WTF? Turns out he did much the same thing at much the same age, but was sparse on the details.
WTF? Is this a boy thing? (This thread is making me think so!) He was so old enough to know better. I moved the dust mop as far away as possible though, as my kid does so many things that he is old enough to know better than to do.
Of course, I was old enough at that age (round 11) to know better when I went walking on the roof of our mobile home. When I fell most of the way through, my mother made sure I was old enough to know better thereafter. In a loud and painful fashion, if you know what I mean.
Reminds me of the time I made a log cabin out of my asparagus spears, with mashed potatoes for mortar and a cruncy piece of broiled chicken skin for a roof. My daughters are both over 30 now, but they still give me :rolleyes: at the memory of that suppertime.
Oh, and then there was the time my youngest was gesturing with her fork and the green bean on the tines flew off to my side of the table, so I threw it back at her. Hilarity and small food fight ensued amongst the female members of the family, to the consternation of the father figure. He would not permit the tossing of meatballs, although it seemed like a good idea to me at the time.
Of course one advantage of occasional bouts of silliness is that if you need kids to behave all you have to do is threaten to embarrass them in front of their friends. Because they know you are capable of it.
My SIL was somewhere in her mid-20’s when she tried to retrieve something she’d inadvertently discarded in the trash. Trouble was, it was one of those Cinch-Sack bags and she’d already tied and knotted it closed. So after fruitless attempts to pick the knot open with her fingernails, she decided to use a fork to loosen it. The next thing I know, she’s got her hand clapped to her forehead right above her eyebrow and she’s running to the bathroom. I was just a wee tad nervous, but she wasn’t gone long. When she returned after a short while, she pulled the wad of tissue away to show me. Four perfectly spaced droplets of blood welled up instantly.
I don’t know why it suddenly struck me funny–but in the next moment, both of us were totally cracking up!
