I beat nuns, but I have sex with altar boys to make up for it.
I found a ballpoint pen a few days ago. On the bumper of my van! Only 1000+ to go before my universe is in order.
Decreasing, dammit! Decreasing! :smack:
The heads at work want it lit up like an Xmas tree. Chernobyl Christmas doesn’t begin to describe this office. I’m surprised planes don’t land on the roof.
At home I have two lamps with 15 watt bulbs in them.
Part of this story is missing. How did you end up making out with a girl that night?
I let people merge in front of me, in the hopes the universe will have it come back to me. And cause it’s nice.
The Circle of Cigarettes. I never hesitate to let someone bum off me (unless I have 5 or fewer, which is rare) because I bum off plently of people. This also goes for alcohol and pot.
If I have money and my friends don’t, I’ll treat them to food or a movie. Then, when I’m poor, they treat me back. Good times.
Normally I like the things I learn here, but after the Mr. Somebody’s Faggots thread, all I can imagine is a little dancing meatball. Sorry, matt_mcl.
I take grocery-store trolleys (hee hee! I’m bilingual!) back to the store too. I used to lose umbrellas but now I keep them in the closet and use hats. Perhaps I should take them out and leave them at strategic bus-stops. However, I mostly balance the universe by kicking small rocks or tree seed-pod debris from one side of the parking lot to the other as I walk into the office.
Well, we have what we call “pool karma.” That is, every fantastically lucky shot will be balanced by at least a half-dozen crappy ones.
This also applies to bowling and dice rolls.
If you’ve been slowed down in traffic for say, five minutes due to rubberneckers passing a fender-bender, or construction, or what have you, you get to drive above the speed limit for five minutes.
Ah. Punk boy then called a girl over to help him demonstrate that kissing is easier with three people, since the noses don’t get in the way.
When my dog takes a dump on a lawn I’ll pick up his and any other poops I find there. (up to the capacity of my plastic bag) It’s sort of my way of paying rent. It also tickles me to think that if the owner tells me not to use their property they’ll end up with more of a poop problem rather than less.
I used to do the same thing with bicycles. I lived in an oceanfront town, and people were terribly lax about locking their bicycles up. I would take one, ride it near my destination, and leave it unlocked for the next person. I’ve heard that cities have tried that. (I think it was Tampa, FL with the yellow bicycles, but I could be wrong.)
There was a period during and right after grad school when I didn’t have a car. I set up my life as best I could to do without – bought a bike, used public transportation, walked a lot – but still had to bum rides or borrow cars from time to time. This put me into a lifetime deficit on rides, so I am always totally happy to give anyone a ride any time.
Dude. Uncool about the bicycles. That’s two-four hundred bucks of theft.
I’ll second that. I believe that the way to “even out” that kind of behavior is to spend some time in jail.
Zombie thread starting way back in January of last year. (‘Last year.’ Heh.)
So, it be closed.