Dammit, just thought of another one-
Hot foods. I mean the kind that burn your tongue-what’s the point? I like my food warm. I like it spicy, in that it’s tangy, zesty, and has plenty of flavor. But why would I want to cause myself pain while I’m eating? That’s just dumb.
Men who enjoy making women feel like sh*t. Fortunately, the only women who find them attractive are the kind I wouldn’t want anything to do with anyway.
Clothes designed to make the wearer look like a crack whore.
Being stylish is great and all that, and by all means if you’ve got it, flaunt it. But why should anyone want to look like Courtney Love? Because she’s so pretty? Please! She’s the love child of a hazardous waste container and an empty condom wrapper. Step back for a second and look at what you’re saying about yourself!
Parents who let their 15-year-old daughters wear such clothes.
Were you never teenagers yourselves? Do you not know what’s going on inside those boys’ minds?
Drugs.
I’ve had more than my share of problems, but I’ve never been the kind to take the half-assed solution. You want to see something you’ve never seen before and get away from all your troubles? Take thirty or forty of those damn pills and put us all out of your freaking misery, dipshit.
Cars - If it gets you from point A to point B in relative comfort and safety, that’s enough.
Women wearing makeup - 90% of the time, the women would look better without it.
Religion - As has been said, elaboration on this point is GD territory.
First-person shooter games - I just don’t get it. Why not play a real, game like StarCraft or Diablo? Or Nibbles? 
Mayo, secret sauce, et al. - Everything that is edible tastes better without these. Why they come standard on most burgers is beyond me. They all taste horrid, IMHO.
Dogs - A stupid slobbering beast that thinks you’re God but isn’t house-trained? No thanks. [sub]Why don’t you just get a husband instead?[/sub]
Cats - An obnoxious self-absorbed piece of arrogance that you’re not legally allowed to kick, even though it deserves it? No thanks. [sub]Why don’t you just get a wife instead?[/sub]
I can think myself into appreciating virtually anything. All you have to do is reason that, essentially, 100,000 Frenchmen can’t be wrong. Then you throw yourself at Whatever, headlong, until it starts to seem like great fun. Note: none of this actually means it IS great fun, objectively, just that it can be appreciated as such by the human brain, if committed/desperate enough.
Cite: comic catchphrases. These are no more funny than the laughing policeman machine at the circus, where you’re expected to laugh just because someone else does, and a machine, at that. You still start laughing eventually, though. Vic Reeves’ catchphrases are among the dumbest in the world and I still chortle away like everyone else.
But hey…
Masochism?
I don’t think so. You want to hit me with what? Where?
And people pay MONEY to have this done to them?
You don’t have a list of their names and addresses, do you…?
i think people have covered a lot of my pet hates
(knick knacks, baggy pants, soap operas, stick thin fashion models, obvious designer labels on clothes)
but you seem to have missed
televangelists
nuff said
the orange order
protestant culture…wtf?
bagpipe bands
see “protestant culture”
eyelash curlers
you think men look at your EYELASHES?
fishnet stockings
uh, guys, why? i’ll either wear pantyhose, or i won’t, i don’t want to do it half-assed.
people on diets
grow up. eat properly, excercise, don’t binge and then starve in the hope of losing the weight permanently. you won’t.
rant over…happy face back on again.
One thing I’ll say about cars. My dad picked up a 1994 Porsche Speedster this past spring and man it is cool! It is a royal blast to drive and looks awesome. It is stripped down for speed. No sound insulation, no door handles on the inside, just a pull-strap that doubles as a latch release. The tonneau cover is carbon fiber. It is just beautiful. A true automotive work of art. It is basically a 911 Cab with a chopped roofline.
As far as first-person shooters, I felt the same way until I gave in to my ex-roommates incessant needling me to play Half-Life with him. We loaded up a cooperative mod (Sven CoOp) for it and it totally changed me on FPS gaming. Playing with other people against the computer is a blast and it helps to eliminate most of the problems with multi-player deathmatch games. I still don’t care for any of the others, but I am totally hooked on HL.
Baggy Fashions and Cereal Bowl Haircuts. Neither look cool. Both make you look dopey, which is the function that parents are supposed to fulfill. And by your show of independence, you’re actually saying that you’re following the rest of the herd, and an easily exploitable one at that.
Smoking Nothing new here, except I used to smoke a pipe. Cigars smell nice, but Lord they taste nasty. And halfway through one, I feel like throwing up.
And while we’re on the subject, snuff. “Just a little pinch between cheek and gum.” What’s up with that? I’m going to put chunks of bitter leaves in my mouth, have it burn a whole through my lining, and dribble for the rest of the evening. And don’t get me started with the good old boys and their packs of Red Man.
Deliberate stupidity, especially when someone expresses their opinion beginning with “Well, I don’t know anything about [politics, current affairs, the movie or tv show under discussion].” You’re going to waste my life telling me what you think, you don’t bother to expose yourself to the issue at hand, and you’re proud to tell us you f-----g waste of carbon and oxygen?
[sub]Ahem . . . sorry, thought I was in the pit there for a moment.[/sub]
Television. By this, I mean the practice of turning the set on, and leaving it on all evening. I can understand watching shows. I can understand watching all night. But I know some [sub]in my family[/sub] for whom the set offers nothing but background noise. Forget trying to think, forget enjoying quiet, just turn on the set and waste your life away.
** Contemporary music**. The whole reason I listen to music is to hear someone more talented than myself. People like Nelly do not impress me – his sole claim-to-fame is that he can say the word “nigger” forty-seven times in one song. So what! I can cuss in six different languages (seven, if you count American Sign Language), what the hell can Nelly do?
Janet Jackson I used to like her back in her “I’m sexy but I’m no ho” days, but lately all her songs sound the same. And that “I was really married but I didn’t want anyone to know I was until we got a divorce” deal gives me the uncomfortable feeling that she’s finally succuming to the general wierdness that the Jackson clan seems to exude.
Of all the little blonde bimbettes that have descended on us lately, only Christina Aquilera can actually sing. This harkens back to the whole “impress me, damnnit!” problem I have with rap music. Hey, I’m a teenage girl with blonde hair! Give me a microphone & pay me 50 million dollars, and I’ll get up on stage and shake my ass too. Sure, I can’t sing, but that never stopped Britney Spears.
Caviar: for a start, it’s fish eggs, not only that, but it tastes like salty ball bearings, a definite case of the emperor’s new clothes there if ever I saw one.
I agree with;
Make-up. Women really do look better without it.
Clothing and accessories with the maker’s name displayed. Somebody PLEASE explain to me the appeal of wearing a shirt with DKNY printed on it. And why pay extra for the privilege?
One of my own;
Trying to be like Dennis Miller. I mean the guy’s funny and all, but it’s an act folks. I’m talking about people who make snide, smart-assed remarks about other people. Constantly.
Peace,
mangeorge
**
It’s some sort of rush. Same reason why people drink hard liquor.
**
There are many different levels of mountain climbing. Those folks who climb Everest are far and away from most recreational climbers. There are plenty of beautiful places in the United States to climb. Colorado and California spring immediatly to mind.
**
Some games might be fun to play even if they aren’t fun to watch. I can’t really understand why anyone would watch golf but I can understand why they’d play. As far as cost goes. If you invest in a good set of golf clubs they can last for many many years. That goes for the equipment of just about every hobby out there. And if it is something that improves the quality of my life, and recreational use qualifies, then spending the money seems reasonable.
**
Most dog shows I’ve seen, not that I’ve seen a whole lot, involve obstacle courses and obedience test. I didn’t know there were any for dogs to just look pretty.
**
Maybe gambling isn’t legal where they are?
**
Just about any hobby becomes less enjoyable when certain people are involved. The idea is to avoid those people entirely. I can understand the lack of appeal an RPG can have for most people. But I’ve enjoyed them and made some pretty good friends along the way. Uh, real friends not friends of my player character.
Marc
I don’t understand the appeal of bitching about what other people enjoy, so long as it isn’t hurting other people. Oh, and Tekken is one of the best games ever created. I think if you put some time into it, you would realize that, rather than just picking it up not knowing what you’re doing and not playing it again.
Actually, if you put on your make up correctly, it should look like you AREN’T wearing any. Make up should be used to enhance-(I have to wear it-I look terrible without it). Just a little bit.
Another thing I don’t get-shock value. Like Howard Stern. How is that funny? It’s just trying to get a rise out of people, it’s not daring, or risky, it’s just being an attention whore.
- Pit Rants and (in general) being offensive for the sake of being offensive
- Smilies
- Those “Hi Opal” posts
Penis.
Collections of Lincoln pennies where the proud owners will scoff at other coin collections as insignificant because they have more than one subject.
Darts
“Rave”/techno. Why don’t you just make a recording of a machine gun and amplify it about tenfold?
That generic “fashion” music that’s always playing in the background during fashion shows, makeovers, etc. You know what I’m talking about: “…boomp-cht boomp-cht boomp-cht boomp-cht…”. For some reason they play similar music when a new guest is introduced on shows like Ricki Lake. It’s kind of funny when you think about the history of it - years ago, when you actually had to have done something of note to appear on TV, they’d play music related to your area of fame (theme song to your TV show, or “Hail to the Chief” for the President, etc.) Now, when they introduce the sociopath du jour on Ricki Lake, they still play a song, but since the person is famous for nothing, the song they play is about nothing.
“Boyz II Men”-type music, with all that harmonizing and crap. “Oh, baby, I’ll do anything to show my love, and I cry all night when you are away, and you are a queen…” And I left my testicles at the toll booth on I-78.
Malcolm in the Middle. I just don’t get it. I watched the first episode with eager anticipation built up from a lot of hype. I couldn’t laugh no matter how hard I tried. I had concluded at that point that the show would never make it to a second season, if it even made it through the first.
Then I saw that there’s a whole stack of emmy nominations glistening from it like brass chains on a middle eastern hookah.
So I watched it again, and couldn’t even make it through the whole show.
Please somebody explain this show to me.
-women who own 15 pairs of shows and go shoe shopping
celery
and don’t try to tell me it doesn’t have a flavor; it does, and it is called dung.
grateful dead
I’m sorry, I tried to like them. but, they truly honestly suck. and not just because they’re boring; every song sounds exactly alike. while I’m at it, I’ll put elton john and the rolling stones on the list as well. They really don’t make me think: wow, I could listen to their music all day and be content; it’s more like: well damn, I have the perfect insomnia cure. I don’t care if they were pioneers of modern music.
the Left Behind series
some of the worst writing ever. I recall there being a humerous thread about just this topic; I don’t recall the location, however.
Constant small talk… SHADDAP ALREADY!
and televised baseball